Pastalms 16-22 by Aba Sababa
1. Your most humble servant, that I
2. Might become a waiter on high
3. Serving your immutable word
4. To diners.
5. I wear white today, that I
6. Might be graced by the slight magenta hues
7. Of pureed tomato, with basil, and garlic
8. As between bites I spill your blessed sauceliness
9. Upon my blouse.
10. Another helping, please, that I
11. Might munch gratefully
12. In abject reverence
13. For two eternities.
1. As I gaze upon my
2. Plate of exquisite aroma
3. And subtle flavor
4. I cannot but wonder,
5. What is this spice that
6. My good lord
7. Has placed before me.
8. His words appear like a mighty fire
9. In the sky
10. “Eat the dish that I will show you
11. The dish you do not know
12. And you shall win at life.”
13. I nibble.
1. Who can know the multitude of
2. Raveled knots
3. Of the Lord’s manifest
5. Who can know the infinitesimal
6. Time, the precision
7. Of boil, required for a
8. Holy al Dente?
9. Who can know the annual
10. Carbohydrates consumed per
11. Capita in exotic lands
12. Like Norway, and Yemen?
13. The Lord, in his eternal noodality,
14. Knows, and grants us life
15. That we may ask, and wonder, and
1. Blessed is the chef
2. who cooks only in kitchens of brick
3. and serves his labor to your loving mother;
4. His delight is in the sauce of the Puttanesca
5. that he might one day imbibe its pleasures;
6. He is like a meatball fondled by the tiny hands of youth,
7. before it is seasoned
8. and tenderized
9. and baked;
10. Not so the diners!
11. They could not discern the highest cuisine
12. From the lowest serving of Hamburger Helper;
13. Therefore the diners will not stand in judgment,
14. nor the critics in contempt;
15. For the LORD watches over the makers of delicious
16. That their dishes stay delicious for eternity.
1. I waited patiently for his Noodliness;
2. he turned to me and heard my cry.
3. He lifted me out of the boiling hell
4. out of the steel and bubbling waters
5. he poured me into a strainer
6. and placed the finest butter in my knots
7. A brief shake, and then
8. He set me down upon a gilded plate
9. Dressed my countenance in the choicest parmesan
10. And sent me forth into the gullets of believers.
1. Blessed is the man of faith!
2. For the Lord shalt hasten his pot’s boil
3. And guard against the sinful foam
4. That rises up on the stove of the sinner
5. Blessed is the man of faith!
6. The man who shelves his egg-timers and stopwatch
7. And trusts the Lord to whisper softly in his tender ear
8. When his Prophet, Muhammad al-Dente, emerges from the froth:
9. The harbinger of peace, harmony, and damn good taste.