Location of Heaven

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Location of Heaven

Postby Kengi on Fri May 21, 2010 5:37 pm

I think I may have just made an important discovery. Maybe this is already know, but I couldn't find mention of it.

I think I know where Heaven on Earth is.

I was talking with a friend of mine about how great it is to live in Chicago. Just north of us, in Wisconsin, you can find great food, such as bacon and cheddar pasta dishes. And, I pointed out, some really great beers. Not the ones from the huge distilleries that are pumping out beer as if they were beer volcanoes, but wonderful small breweries breaking through the landscape like small geysers.

And just east of Chicago, NW Indiana, contains a high concentration of stripper bars. Good ones as well as bad ones. They are everywhere. It's like there must be a stripper factory there or something.

Then it hit me. Chicago is Heaven!

To the east of Eden are the stripper factories. To the North of Eden are the beer volcanoes. And the garden of knowledge (University of Illinois Chicago Campus) is built right off of Taylor Street, where the best pasta dishes in the universe are served.

Am I really the first to put all the pieces together? Is this the appropriate place to publish my discovery?

Thanks in advance for your consideration of my humble hypothesis.
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Re: Location of Heaven

Postby PKMKII on Fri May 21, 2010 8:52 pm

I've been through Gary, IN. Nothing about Gary is heavenly.

And if we're going by greatest number of microbreweries, I'd say the best place for that would be the areas around either of the two Portlands (Maine and Oregon).
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Re: Location of Heaven

Postby Ubi Dubius on Fri May 21, 2010 9:26 pm

I was hoping winters wouldn't be so harsh in Heaven. There is a constantly erupting volcano on the Big Island of Hawaii. Maybe it could be converted to beer. The weather is beautiful. If you miss snow, you can climb a mountain and find some. If you don't miss it, avoid the mountain and it isn't an issue. I assume there are strippers there somewhere, but as I have my wife and kids with me, I didn't look. Well, not very hard, anyway.
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Re: Location of Heaven

Postby Roland Deschain on Fri May 21, 2010 10:53 pm

This world is what we make of it. Our actions determine what it will be for not only us, but others as well, so if everyone worked for the common good, this planet could be a paradise for us all. This world is made up of many people with many dreams. If we did work together, those dreams could be fulfilled. This is the only true heaven for me (apart from the one with the beer and strippers :haha:)
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Re: Location of Heaven

Postby Kengi on Fri May 21, 2010 11:04 pm

PKMKII wrote:I've been through Gary, IN. Nothing about Gary is heavenly.


That depends upon which heavenly body you are looking at in the stripper bars.

PKMKII wrote:And if we're going by greatest number of microbreweries, I'd say the best place for that would be the areas around either of the two Portlands (Maine and Oregon).


Actually, while I prefer a good Dortmunder, I was thinking about the big breweries, like Miller. They seem closer to "beer volcanoes" than anything else.

And while I'm sure you could find a place that produces more beer, and other places that produce more strippers, here we have them all in one location. The Gary-Chicago-Milwaukee corridor, with a concentration of Italian restaurants right in the geographic center.

Just coincidence?
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Re: Location of Heaven

Postby Roland Deschain on Sat May 22, 2010 8:27 am

If you've ever been to Prague in the Czech Republic, that has many beers, both big and small varieties, and a disproportionate number of strip clubs.

And by strip clubs I mean proper strip clubs. :lech:
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Re: Location of Heaven

Postby MonkeysInACan on Sun May 23, 2010 4:13 pm

Although it lacks physical stripper factories and a beer volcano, the ultimate Pirate's paradise would have to be Boracay in the Philippines. :fsm_yarr: This is the current residence of our prophet Bobby Henderson, and after looking at all the wonderful pictures on his blog I have decided to go on a vacation there next summer after I graduate from College.
http://blog.venganza.org/19.php
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