da book ove dreedid NefYooBLackBeard

[black bart]

...a good edition of 'Masterchef'...onlee the other noight it was a red hot competishun between the chef of thee Mad Moggy's Revenge: Pierre Le trou and the x chef of the Big Brenda: Blind Jaques le Merde when all of a sudden Blind Jaques accidentlee poured Gunpowder into his...

[TwistedSister]

his cheese fondue which then.......

[pieces o'nine]

... required Capn pieces o'nine to irritably henquire, "Who be this 'Pierre Le trou' le blaggarde an why be 'e claymin t'be a shef abord me foine shippe?...

[black bart]

...arrgh I'll wager ye'll wish ye hadn't asked me that...

Pierre Le trou was a shortened form of Pierre le troubadour...he sailed the seven seas as a chef, a poet and lover o wenches both big and small. Twas a wonderous thing to hear Pierre cookin in thee galley whilst he simultaneously composed his epic poems of love and honour...such rhymes were amongst the most beautiful ever heared on a shyppe...gorgeous lyrical couplets and stanzas so fabulous that it made grown men weep...

But by the skid marks o Neptune's underpants...his cookin was foul! At this moment Pierre was conjuring up a new culinary creation consisting of...

[pieces o'nine]

...Braised Parrots in Jyint Lolly Sauce...




~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Thankee fer thee CV, Bart, but oi still canna remmemer 'im. Oi finks 'e musta bin on someovver shippe an gotte 'is story confyoosed, loike.

[black bart]

...Pierre served up the dish an, risin up as one man, thee crew declared ...

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

Hoo boy!
i want sum!

[black bart]

...and as if by magic Nef Yoo got some...but not the sort of some he was hopin for because suddenly out of the sky swept a Gyant Heron wot grabbed holf of Nef Yoo by his gyant hat!!!!!!

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

HA! Yer nut foolen noe-wun, Unka Farty! Thet wunner thum shoppy-foto fings.

Hi coman yer brung me thee bruised parrits!

[Calico Jack]

HA! Yer nut foolen noe-wun, Unka Farty! Thet wunner thum shoppy-foto fings.

Hi coman yer brung me thee bruised parrits!

You rang????

DING, DING, DING, DING!!!!

Neff Yoo been carried off by Jack's cousin!!!!

ACK! ACK!

[black bart]

Ahem...back to thee story.

Nef Yoo was carried up into the sky by thee gyant bird whither he knew not where. The sea rushed below him and the smell of thee bird's foul fishy breath reminded him of his uncle Barty, suddenly the bird began to descend towards an island. With a terrible raucous cry the huge heron dropped Nef Yoo onto a...

[bacon]

. . . a large tree, and Nef Yoo soon found himself on a large branch hanging by his underwear. The branch was bending from his weight and as he looked down he found himself several meters above ground. A fall from this height would definitely not end well, and what is worse, the condition of the elastic on his underwear was very worn and starting to tear. Nef Yoo started to . . .

[TwistedSister]

Neff You started to panic, as any wise three year old would do in such a situation. Tears ran down his face and snot ran out of his nose. His thoughts turned to all of the chocolates and pizzas he had consumed over his short life.
Neff You became quite calm while thinking of all of his past treats. Suddenly he had an idea as to how to get out of the situation he was in. Carefully he reached up and grabbed ahold of the elastic on his underpants and...

[black bart]

...phew....he released all the trapped fart gas from his over nervous stomach...it was then he noticed to his horror that the whole tree was full of dangling cabin boys just waiting for the return of the ravenous...

[Calico Jack]

. . . parrot! . . .