Qwerty: Grumpy is eminently reasonable. In fact, one of the easiest-going and generous people I have ever met. And he's an Aussie through-and-through.
BUT he doesn't suffer fools gladly. Like me, he's autistic; neither of us plays 'social games'; in my case, usually because it isn't until the next day, when my subconscious has been replaying the exchange for a few hours, that I realise that a game was even being played. In his case, probably because he likes to cut right through the BS. Unlike me, he will be blunt.
He often says he reserves the right to hate anyone
for their behaviour, regardless of race, creed, gender or orientation!
Grumpy: Son Number Four Son was horrified when a lad at their school developed a crush on his brother (his brother just brushed it off). It took me a while to explain to him that the boy wasn't being bad.
1. As a straight male, my son finds females sexually attractive. So does his dad. My son can accept that, and understand
it, because he has the same kind of feelings. I accept that, although I do not understand
it because I do NOT find females sexually attractive. He, however, can understand lesbian attraction because he is attracted to the same body-shape.
That took him a while to digest!
2. As a straight female, I find males sexually attractive. He can accept that, but he cannot understand it because he does NOT find males sexually attractive. I, however, can understand anyone finding males attractive; it's a brain thing, the body just tags along, whatever its shape.
3. He understands that sometimes he finds a girl attractive but she gives him the brush-off; that's OK, because it's likely there will be dozens more straight females in his environment for him to be interested in, some of whom are likely to return his interest. Sometimes girls he doesn't find attractive have a crush on him. He doesn't feel threatened by them, does he? No.
4. The gay lad doesn't choose who he finds attractive any more than my son does. BUT, being in a minority, the chances of his crush being reciprocated are many times smaller. That doesn't make him a threat, it just makes him lonelier.
Finally, it clicked. Common sense 1: Homophobia 0.