Dunno if this should be canonized or named or what, it's mostly for entertainment, but I'll just number it out of principle.
1 Two billion years ago, The Flying Spaghetti Monster created the worlds first foot.
2 The pirates, midgets, and walruses were all sparkly.
3 They flocked to the site using their unicycles, and worshiped it slowly.
4 "Gadzook!" They said.
5 The Flying Spaghetti Monster was fuzzy and pants'd everyone who had come.
6 There were 17 days of celebration, as the pirates ostracized their grog and the midgets tried to get spaceships from them.
7 This was, of course, before the times of toe nails and word did not spread so quickly.
8 People 666 megameteres away did not know about the pleasurable occurrence.
9 This is why today, people like David Hasslehoff don't think that men really masturbated, or that Wil E. Coyote is as chocolaty as Pastafarians say.
