The 12 Days of Monkey-A Song

[TwistedSister]

T'was in the December of the year of 1763,
By the banks of the silvery River Tay, in the fair city of Dundee,
That the poet William McGonagall had the idea that perhaps he,
Should write a poem about the impending holiday called Monkey.
Ah yes! And so he tossed and turned all through the night,
Thinking about what he would write..

And he thought and he thought and he tossed some more
And he left unpleasant stains upon the floor...
This left McGonagall in an unpleasant quandary,
Whether to clean up the mess himself, or ask his maid to take it to the laundry?
But the maid was a girl who hailed from Inverness
And never before had she set eyes on such a mess

A passing American said "FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA!",
Which was a bit of a problem as it didn't fit in with the rest of the poem at'aa,
But McGonagall thought he should persevere,
And see if he could get something a bit more salient to the subject at hand written down here,

Although he was still a-wondery
As to how the maid might actually get the floor to the laundry,

JINGLE ALL THE WAY!!!!

[Roy Hunter]

T'was in the December of the year of 1763,
By the banks of the silvery River Tay, in the fair city of Dundee,
That the poet William McGonagall had the idea that perhaps he,
Should write a poem about the impending holiday called Monkey.
Ah yes! And so he tossed and turned all through the night,
Thinking about what he would write..

And he thought and he thought and he tossed some more
And he left unpleasant stains upon the floor...
This left McGonagall in an unpleasant quandary,
Whether to clean up the mess himself, or ask his maid to take it to the laundry?
But the maid was a girl who hailed from Inverness
And never before had she set eyes on such a mess

A passing American said "FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA!",
Which was a bit of a problem as it didn't fit in with the rest of the poem at'aa,
But McGonagall thought he should persevere,
And see if he could get something a bit more salient to the subject at hand written down here,
Although he was still a-wondery,
As to how the maid might actually get the floor to the laundry.

"JINGLE ALL THE WAY!!!!" shouted McGonagall's New World contributor,
Which gave him an idea, so off the went in a cab to his local DIY supplies distributor,
Where after purchasing a jingly-jangly circular saw (now with dust extraction!),
He ripped up the floorboards, stuck them in the cab, and spurred the driver into action,
"To the Dundee Swimming Baths and Laundry, my good man, and don't spare the horses!
I've got to get these floorboards cleaned, dried and nailed back down before I run out of verses!"

[TwistedSister]

Sorry Roy. (that one kinda died out there)

Dashing through the house
my pants around my knees,
let's see how far I get,
before I start to pee.

[Tigger_the_Wing]

Dashing through the house
my pants around my knees,
let's see how far I get,
before I start to pee.

I'm old, my bladder's borked,
My mind is wand'ring free.
I've run out of conti-pads
And I've drunk too much tea.

[Amber the Old Bitch]

Woof, woof,
Woof
Grrrrrrrrrr
Wag!*



*Tinkle Bells, Tinkle Bells,
Tinkle through the house
My bladder capacity is smaller than a mouse
HAY!

[Rev. Rowan Redbeard]

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