PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Arrr, I be a pirate!

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Postby LibraLabRat on Wed Nov 30, 2005 7:48 am

Nothin wrong with a pirate getting the occasional manny and peddy. 8)
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Wench

Postby black bart on Wed Nov 30, 2005 10:31 am

Playbilge centrefold:

Here's me Miss November for the first magazine - her name be Karri the Taven Wench.


Dear Editor of Playbilge

YYYAAARRR Oy bought meself a copy of Playbilge an imagine me orror when oy sees me wife is this months centrefold.

Oy know she be a right looker an all but she never dresses like that fer me! :fsm_worried:
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Postby DaveL on Wed Nov 30, 2005 5:10 pm

YArrrr fear not Barty,

Karri said ter tell yer she be tired of her existence bein' exploited as a tavern wench. She said she need some magic in 'er loife ie., bein' exploited by a mens magazine instead.

As yer be at sea quoite a bit matey, she said she'll be keepin the home fires burnin with a few extra dubloons for yer kitty.

Once she 'as secured a publicist and done a few chat shows, she'll end up bein' replaced with someone far more bootiful - although that could be quoite a while based on that photo!

YArrr...

Ed
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Postby no-beard on Thu Dec 01, 2005 12:05 am

DaveL wrote:Amazin what Google Image search can reveal. How about a Play Bilge Bunny?

Image

Yarrrr...now oi'm on a roll!


Somebody fetch that bunny a hoop earring and a cutlass!
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Postby NoOneOfConsequence on Thu Dec 01, 2005 10:01 am

Dear Playbilge,

Arrr never believed yarrr stories were true until last week when, ...
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Postby black bart on Thu Dec 01, 2005 10:15 am

DaveL wrote:

Once she 'as secured a publicist and done a few chat shows, she'll end up bein' replaced with someone far more bootiful - although that could be quoite a while based on that photo!


Shouldn't we have a 'Cabin Boy' Special edition matey?
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Postby DaveL on Thu Dec 01, 2005 4:03 pm

NoOneOfConsequence wrote:Dear Playbilge,

Arrr never believed yarrr stories were true until last week when, ...


Arghhh, which story be that matey? There are quoite a few stories in the pipeline for the December edition. Oi'm hopin to do a few wench photos in santa outfits - O'ill see what oy can foind.

If yer referin' to the story about wench mud wrestlin' and rum drinkin' addiction well they be true! December issue oy'll do an in depth report on both of these.

What type of mud is favourable, what type of wrestlin' grip be best and of course the Ultimate Mud Wrestlin show down 'Wench Super Slam 05' will feature heavily.

BTW here be me December centrefold. Yarrrr...she be a roight lovely young thing!!

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Though if yer ask me, she ain't had a decent feed in years.

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Postby DaveL on Fri Dec 02, 2005 1:40 am

Start sendin' us yer letters ya lonely old dogs!

Yarrr...ere is one from Cabin Boy Nigel No-friends

Dear Play-bilge,

'Oi've been at sea for six long months and the seals are startin' to look loike bootiful mermaids. Why do the seals look more bootiful than the wenches in yer magazine? Will yer be featurin' any seals or mermaids in yer future editions.' Koind Regards Nigel

How do yer think we should answer this poor bugger. He be one sick puppy!
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YYAAARRR!

Postby black bart on Fri Dec 02, 2005 9:31 am

seals look more bootiful than the wenches


Tell him to leave Portsmouth at once!
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Postby DaveL on Sat Dec 03, 2005 3:19 am

ARGH 9000 Test Drive (also known as an advertorial)

Yarrr...since Bobby be thinkin of purchasin a Pirate ship, Oi'd like ter tell yer about me test drive on the latest galleon, the ARGH 9000. On the open seas it clocks around 20 knots and it corners quoite well. For a bit of turbo power, hoistin the spinnaker will give yer and extra 5 knots.

When bein' pursued by the the Kings Navy, the ARGH 9000 is a wee ripper. Its 30 6 pounders will keep those blighters at bay until yer can escape.


If yer lookin for a noice family style galleon, forget it. The ARGH 9000 is a pure lads toy.

So if being a 'sail head' is yer thing, head on down to Honest Johns and purchase yerself a ARGH 9000 today.

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'ere is the ARGH 9000 in pursuit by the HMS Indefatiguable. It left it for dead...YArrrr
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Postby DaveL on Sun Dec 04, 2005 5:52 pm

no-beard wrote:
DaveL wrote:Amazin what Google Image search can reveal. How about a Play Bilge Bunny?

Image

Yarrrr...now oi'm on a roll!


Somebody fetch that bunny a hoop earring and a cutlass!


Yarrrr....

Ere is a more piratey version Matey!!

Many thanks to Ushnor for this!!

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Postby DaveL on Mon Dec 05, 2005 6:08 am

DOES SIZE REALLY MATTER?

Lads, when yer in the heat of battle and you be lookin' for that extra somethin' Oi was wunderin what your position on a large cutlass be? Oi've found Oi can usually slice and dice a few extra Kings men with a good swoosh of me 2-handed sword.

On the other hand this blighter be sportin' a crappy little 'sandwich cutter'. Unfortunately, this bugger didn't last much longer after this photo.

He was laughed out of the fight sulkin' to 'is mummy.

Do yer think a large cutlass will get yer further in the heat of the moment?

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ARGH vrrooom

Postby black bart on Mon Dec 05, 2005 10:05 am

If this was a School Room the ARGH 9000 would be the naughty pupil throwing paper airoplanes from the back of the class!

Next we'll have Charlotte Church singing her latest hit from the Crows nest whilst the Stig sails the ARGH 9000 round the Cape of Good Hope!

Captain Jeremy Clarkeson
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Cutlass

Postby black bart on Mon Dec 05, 2005 10:10 am

Dave L wrote:

Do yer think a large cutlass will get yer further in the heat of the moment?


I always stand on bridge brandishin me big weapon prior to an engagement.

The chap in the photo is obviously advertising the latest pirate safety rasor - you can see the lubrication strip running along the edge for a closer shave every time.
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Postby Qwertyuiopasd on Wed Dec 07, 2005 6:54 pm

do ye be plannin' te actualy publish this? or merely have articles in tha thread?

oi'd buy (or at least sign up) fer a subscription.

oi moight be able te wright an article or two...
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