Sports

[PKMKII]

People often mention sports, teams, and athletes on these boards, but there's not a dedicated thread for it. No more! I'll start it off with talking about my favorite sport: (American) Football.

Football, right now, is the best played sport at the professional level. It has the most uniform, across the board quality; even crappy teams play to a high standard. It also has the best competition due to the fairness of the draft system and pay caps, which means that no one team can be dominant forever. Note how Dallas was a powerhouse and New England was "meh" in the mid-90's; now it's completely reversed. It's also been mostly devoid of any steroids scandals that undermine credibility.

Speaking of which, baseball falls short due to a plethora of steroids scandals. And even if it didn't, the pay structure permanently tilts all the quality players towards coastal powerhouses. It's not really surprising that the NLCS and ALCS teams were SoCal, SoCal, NYC, and Philly. And the screwy thing is, baseball fans and critics seem to think this is a good thing that the sport is quickly becoming a regional and not a national sport.

Basketball's problem is that the fundamentals are lacking these days. They get kids straight out of high school who know how to get themselves on sportscenter's highlights, but they don't have their basics down. It's like when baseball was obsessed in the mid-to-late 90's with homer run hitters: sure, the numbers were fun, but those power hitters didn't get their teams any world series wins.

The NHL has dug itself into its own grave. Canada, you may take it away from us. I don't watch soccer (football), but I get the impression that the level of play in the MLS lacks far behind the level of play in the European leagues. I do have to say though, I think it's funny that the European teams are called "clubs." Makes it sound as if it's not a professional sports organization, but just something a bunch of guys got together to do on the weekend.

[farfalla]

world series game 3 in Philly tonight - scary - perfect for halloween - Philadelphia sport fans are frightening no matter what the sport

(have friend here who is Yankee fanatic fan - -otherwise she is a really great person)

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

I think the Tigers are going to win the World Derbybowl this year. Their lasertag skills are unmatched, and more than make up for their spearfighting skills, which, though sufficient, are little compared to the Razorback Boars.

But then again, if we're talking all-rounder teams, the Killer Elephants are pretty good all-round, so I guess it would be wise to bet on them if they're up against the Honeybuckets in the Triple Ball Score round. They took the Albanian Pennant back in '05, but I'm sure you'll all remember the scandal with their captain, Alan Partridge and Wicki Fennigerhaflstein of the Grand Advisory Council of the Swimming Turtledove. It's a shame they were not allowed to compete in the Sophisticated Dinner Conversation triathlon early in '06, because they were set to win. Imagine! The Zephyrs winning the SDC by default! Didn't even have to do the Improv Comedy round!

Of course, this all comes back to the Canadian league. I know the Canadian rules for Mega Derbylaserbattleswithstarships better than anyone, so believe me when I say that if those Canadians hadn't cancelled the Ultimate Killer Frisbee section of the league, all those players wouldn't have moved into the American league, and Canada would still be a functioning democracy today!

[Tigger_the_Wing]

Brilliant analysis, DTH, and I suppose it was only lack of space here that made you omit the Lichtenstein early rounds scandal although that was, IMHO, the most interesting event in the Northern European league all year, what with their mediocre showing on the world stage. I'm not sure that Lemminge Vereinigt will actually recover. What is your opinion?

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Yes, I didn't want to make the whole post into a TL;DR case. But I think Vereinigt will not recover, because, if I get my Northern European rulebook out, a violation of that magnitude warrants 'an immediate cessation of mobility through the removal of all lower limbs'. So unless he gets lucky enough to be a part of the Hover International League, he's not going anywhere fast.

[Tigger_the_Wing]

My thoughts exactly. On a happier note, which strip do you think the Tigers will be wearing this season? My preference is for the Magenta leotard and Sky Blue tutu, but I gather there is a rather fetching chocolate-and-taupe crinoline in the pipeline. I personally think they made a mistake with the footwear last season. Those lemon-and-lime steel toe-caps did nothing for their agility.

[ET, the Extra Terrestrial]

and

American professional sports are dominated by the Big Four: American Football, Baseball, Basketball, and Ice Hockey. All can provide excitement and suspense, and all except Baseball are action-packed. Baseball is certainly the sport I would prefer any relative or potential offspring of mine to master -- big paychecks, long careers, and virtually no risk of breaking a bone (or even a sweat). What a pansy sport. Americn Football requires very strong and tough players, monsters who can throw automobiles around like the Incredible Hulk. The problems I have with football are: the action is highly punctuated with timeouts, the clock runs in between plays, and the players are so highly specialized that a particular player is on the field for no more than a few minutes of actual action during a game - even the one who has the most "minutes". Basketball is better than football in that the players play both offense and defense, and if the clock is running, they are actually playing basketball. Hockey is the best of all, because it encompasses the best of the other three - continuous action, speed, strength, coordination, timing -- and it adds the legal play of smashing the other guy through a seven foot tall sheet of plexiglass. I've seen a hockey player get half a dozen teeth knocked out, skate off to the dressing room, get stitched up, and be back on the ice five minutes later. A baseball player gets a blister on his pinkie and is out for two weeks. Football players exert themselves for five or ten seconds at a time. In hockey if you're on the ice you're going as hard as you possibly can for 90 seconds, sit down and rest for three minues, then back out on the ice again. Try running a full-on sprint for 90 seconds, while someone is trying to slam you against a wall and you're chasing a little rubber ball on a closed court with nine other guys. Hockey's problems are economic - it's an expensive sport to play. If you don't grow up playing it, you don't develop any appreciation for it. If you don't live in a cold climate, you don't have the opportunity to play all the time, but baseball, basketball and football can be played in any climate so their popularity is assured.

Of course the hardcore American ESPN-er will say that the most popular sport is NASCAR racing. Or golf. Bah. These are not sports - even baseball just barely qualifies in my book. Hockey uber alles.

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

My thoughts exactly. On a happier note, which strip do you think the Tigers will be wearing this season? My preference is for the Magenta leotard and Sky Blue tutu, but I gather there is a rather fetching chocolate-and-taupe crinoline in the pipeline. I personally think they made a mistake with the footwear last season. Those lemon-and-lime steel toe-caps did nothing for their agility.

I think they'll be going for something that won't get them caught up in the Hook Agility Eventatron. Remember two seasons back, when fourteen of their best Jiggernauts got slammed because of those ultra-size doilies?! I think it'll be figure-hugging latex, because they don't want to go there again.

What a bloodbath!

Hockey uber alles.

Sure, hockey is brutal in its own way. But when it's compared to such sports as Barenuckle Driving, Extreme Aerial Foreplay and Bridgepunching it's an atom in a coffee cup.

[PKMKII]

Hockey's problems are economic - it's an expensive sport to play. If you don't grow up playing it, you don't develop any appreciation for it. If you don't live in a cold climate, you don't have the opportunity to play all the time, but baseball, basketball and football can be played in any climate so their popularity is assured.

Hockey has two other problems: one, the 2004-05 lockout came at the completely wrong time and drove a lot of fans away from the sport. Second, of the big 4 (although imho, hockey has been downgraded to 2nd tier status alongside soccer, arena football, and the WNBA), it is the worst sport to televise. Make fun of the pace of baseball and football if you will, but it does allow for a pace suited to television: play, commentator analysis, repeat. Basketball is like hockey in that regard, but with one major difference: Basketballs are big, orange, and can be easily seen on camera (QooC). A hockey puck, on the other hand, gets lost very quickly on camera.

[Almighty Doer of Stuff]

Extreme Aerial Foreplay

Great sport. The fight songs usually come from Dire Straits records, especially the first album.

[Roy Hunter]

Great sport. The fight songs usually come from Dire Straits records, especially the first album.

Actually, my favourite bit is from Making Movies, Dire Straits' third album, when the sporting action gets a little bit *ahem* homoerotic (that almost never happens in sport, does it)? That's when they play 'Les Boys' on the PA.

[Almighty Doer of Stuff]

I don't think you got the reference...

[daftbeaker]

[off-topic]

A hockey puck, on the other hand, gets lost very quickly on camera.

Fox developed pucks that when hit over a certain speed develop a luminous 'tail' that allows them to be spotted much more easily on TV. Wikipedia explains all.
[/off-topic]

[black bart]

I got a hockey ball in the eye once...didn't see that coming but I did hear Raj Singh shouting 'Oy Roberts' before he hit the ball with his carbon fibre hockey stick!

[Elvalia]

Is this thread for pro teams and such, or just general sports? Not that it matters, most of our threads end up being on topic next to never, but I thought I'd ask.

I like rugby.