Recently Discovered FSM writing could prove controversial

[Zeno Telos]

With a religion as old as the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, canonic disputes and theological tiffs are bound to lead to sectarianism. Is this on the horizon? I am referring, of course, to the recently discovered scrawled writings on the side of the Calabrese recipes of Chef Angelo di Porco Dio from the late 18th century:

“After several bites of a recent batch of perciatelli, the world became translucent and I could discern the very fabric of our universe. It was clear to me that his Noodleyness was not the only deity in the cosmos and that there were other beings. The universe gave us gods like the gods gave us pasta: so many types – from bucatini to gemelli, from farfalle to garganelli. Minerva appeared before me offering me olive oil. Bacchus gave wine. My stomach and mind were full.”

While the eye patch-bearing masses may not be able to accept this, it seems clear that the idea of only one god – his Lord Cheeses – is the result of thinking based on conditioning from other monotheistic belief systems. Let us share our pasta and hope that this truth does not lead to centuries of bloodshed.

Praise the Santa Tagliatelle,
Zeno Telos

“He dangled his noodley appendage before me and soon I knew paradise.”
- zenotelos.com

[Ham Nox]

While the eye patch-bearing masses may not be able to accept this, it seems clear that the idea of only one god – his Lord Cheeses – is the result of thinking based on conditioning from other monotheistic belief systems. Let us share our pasta and hope that this truth does not lead to centuries of bloodshed.

It's true, them Monotheistic religions are rather indoctrinating... And I don't recall the FSM ever proclaiming that he was the only god, just the truest one. Does this leave open the possibility of other non-pasta gods such as the Farting Chocolate Dude, the Holey Doughnut, and possibly.. The IPU?

My abandonment of the Invisible Pink Unicorn for the Flying Spaghetti Monster has never sat entirely well for me, I still forget sometimes and start looking for a shadow of her presence on the walls. Is unencyclopedia right in that they hate each other fervently and I must choose only one or the other?

I must pray on this divine revelation.. Thank you for sharing it.

[Zeno Telos]

My abandonment of the Invisible Pink Unicorn for the Flying Spaghetti Monster has never sat entirely well for me, I still forget sometimes and start looking for a shadow of her presence on the walls. Is unencyclopedia right in that they hate each other fervently and I must choose only one or the other?

I think His Fettuccininess would have no problems with other deities, especially the IPU. Who knows, they're probably dating. But your comment reminded me of henotheism, which acknowledges the existence of multiple gods, but chooses only one to worship. The early Hebrews were henotheists, as is more than evident in the Torah and the Old Testament (i.e. the battle royal between the Hebrew and Egyptian god).

I myself prefer many gods, especially the Olympian kind. But I firmly believe that global peace and equality cannot be achieved without the worldwide acceptance of Lord Cheeses. Spreading his gospel is vital for humanity’s survival.

These two posts explore the topic, with important mentions of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism: http://zenotelos.com/category/modern-polytheism/

may your pasta fill you, whatever kinds you choose,
Zeno Telos

“He dangled his noodly appendage before me and soon I knew paradise.”
- zenotelos.com