Complete the Piratey Headline

[DaveL]

New art project unveiled in Portsmouth Museum and Cow Shed! Dubbed the 'Great Fish Head Stew Cooks of the 1700's', its purpose is to find at least one

Hackles the Rescue dog drops a big ******** after encountering Tanning Master Jenkin's pit bull in rear lane way. Massive ******* expected.

[black bart]

Hackles the Rescue dog drops a big Bone after encountering Tanning Master Jenkin's pit bull in rear lane way. Massive Vet's Bill expected.

Benbow's Gristle Sandwiches to Blame for lack of ****** amongst Pirates.

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Benbow's Gristle Sandwiches to Blame for lack of functioning bowels amongst Pirates.

Mad William Bonney to make a speech in front of ******* Tuesday! Concerns the ******!

[DaveL]

Mad William Bonney to make a speech in front of Judge Tuesday! Concerns the double pirate speak interpreter is on holidays!

Lord Turtleholmes vast English Estate gets *******. Concerns are that his ******** is responsible.

[black bart]

Lord Turtleholmes vast English Estate gets Dutch Elm Disease. Concerns are that his recent cultural visit to Amsterdam is responsible.

Mayor Borat Johnson told to pay back 50,000 Cronan expenses he claimed for his *******

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Mayor Borat Johnson told to pay back 50,000 Cronan expenses he claimed for his Fish Head Stew addiction[/quote]

Shares in Bart Industries plummet after *******!

[DaveL]

Shares in Bart Industries plummet after a healthy batch discovered!

Big Brenda seen Bungie jumping off the Portsmouth Bridge. Extreme ***********expected.

[Ubi Dubius]

Big Brenda seen Bungie jumping off the Portsmouth Bridge. Extreme Bridge Repair expected.

Blackbeard ***** Near Graceland!

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Blackbeard defeated by Turtleholmes Near Graceland!

Big Ron found in ******* with Auntie Blackbeard! Says: "*******"

[Ubi Dubius]

Big Ron found in flagrante delecto with Auntie Blackbeard! Says: "YARRRGGGHHHHHH!"

[size=200]Health Inspector Visits Admiral Benbow, Says ********

[Tigger_the_Wing]

Health Inspector Visits Admiral Benbow, Says Yaaaarrrrrrgghggg....eeep."

Queen's yacht hoists Jolly Roger. Her Majesty announces "We ******** on Europe!"

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Queen's yacht hoists Jolly Roger. Her Majesty announces "We, the Royals, do make full Royal claim on Europe!"

The local piratefolk are thoroughly unamused. Pirate spokesman One Eyed Hustler Bob stated in a press release earlier today; "AArgh, we arrrgh argh argh dun loik et arrrghh argh Queenie's Royal Arsehole argh argh arghhhh". He then collapsed in a drunken heap.

Queen's Procession through Portsmouth halted when *******!

small edit: Any ove ye piratefolk notice that the eckslamayshin marke look awl rong?

[black bart]

Queen's Procession through Portsmouth halted when Prince Phillip orders a Kebab (he's Greek)!

Man found alive after 10 years being marooned on Barry Island says he survived by eating *******.

[Ubi Dubius]

Man found alive after 10 years being marooned on Barry Island says he survived by eating Dominos Pizza.
(they deliver everywhere).

Pirate Fleet Assaults *******!

[Roy Hunter]

Pirate Fleet Assaults The Sensibilities of the Upright and Sober Citizens of Portsmouth!

****** says "Fank Ye, Ye Welkum!" to the staff of the Admiral Benbow.