A Tale Of Workplace Persecution

[Nuitaran]

I have recently descovered and self converted to Pastafarianism. i won't get into the how and the why, but suffice it to say, I have a Jolly Roger hanging above my desk and I halve always rejected Dogma. I also love beer and strippers. It was meant to be. Now on to my tale....

I have several friends at work with similar ideas, ideals and likes - who doesn't like strippers and beer after all. We often have quiet discussions about strange things at work and when I found FSM I was thrilled to bring it to them. they all promptly converted and we were overheard discussing it by a few others who also promptly converted. Pastafarians now number 7/19 on the second shift sales floor. We are bringing larger numbers than any other single religion to our shift! During some downtime I was reading the Gospel with my cubicle neighbor, when my Manager walked by. He promtly told me that my religion was a parody, and not a recognized religion. This got under my skin a bit since I had just been at Borders to get my Gospel and after 2 hours of searching the Religion section, was directed towards Humor by a disgruntled Customer Service Representative wearing a Star Of David. She became more disgruntled when I asked her how she would feel if they moved The Koran to the Humor section as well. I digress; I asked my manager "Recognized by who? We're the majority in the building right now and we all recognize it?" He told me that it is not a "Recognized Religion". I let it go but I am still uncertain who is responsible for recognizing it. I told my manager that he was welcome to have any beliefs he wanted to have as long as I could have mine without being made to feel invalidated. He then reiterated that my religion was a "Parody". I told him that I would renounce FSM and convert to his religion and give him $100 if he could offer me undeniable proof that FSM does not exist.

Later that evening he called me into his office to ask me not to discuss FSM or Pastafarianism on the floor in the future. I chose to agree under the stipulation that he would not discuss his religion or more importantly invalidate mine. We were in agreement.

Today I came in wearing my FSM "Fish" T-Shirt. He called me into is office with the head of HR who informed me that I needed to go home and change. I asked them if any other empoyees would be asked to leave and change who were wearing clothes with other religious insignia (a later count revealed this would have sent home 75% of our work force, everyone but my fellow Pastafarians) to which they responded "No."

Confused I asked why this was the case and they treated me like I was just causing trouble. In the end they agreed to let me stay for my shift if I wore a sweatshirt, and they refused to ask any other employee's to cover religious symbols on thier clothes or remove religious jewellery.

I feel that this is religious persecution and I am not sure how to proceed. If there is anyone with experience in this area I would love to have some guidance. My fellow Pastafarians and I are hurt and offended by this blatant bigotry.

~May the Spaghetti Fork Be With You
RAmen

[Tigger_the_Wing]

Tell him that it is discrimination to tell someone that their religion is a parody and require that members of only one faith removes all religious symbols whilst allowing all others.

Because, after all, Christianity can be said to be a parody of Judaism.

What does your union representative have to say about it?

[Ubi Dubius]

We need a Pastafarian Anti-Defamation League and Pastafarian Legal Defense Fund. I know a Pastafarian lawyer who's looking for work!

[Nuitaran]

Tell him that it is discrimination to tell someone that their religion is a parody and require that members of only one faith removes all religious symbols whilst allowing all others.

Because, after all, Christianity can be said to be a parody of Judaism.

What does your union representative have to say about it?

We're not Union.... They are ignoring my claims of discrimination. They seem to think that I am just causing trouble and refuse to take me seriously.

[Cardinal Fang]

Would your work take it too badly if a load of Pastafarians wrote letters to them complaining about discrimination?

CF

[LibraLabRat]

I could come and see him...should I leave the rocket launcher at home? It tends to make my logical arguments difficult to pay attention to.

[TwistedSister]

We're not Union.... They are ignoring my claims of discrimination. They seem to think that I am just causing trouble and refuse to take me seriously.

Well, not that I want anyone jumping all over me because of what I'm about to say but......
If you truly believe that this is your religion, by all means, stand up for yourself.
If you are just goofing around with it, well, I guess your next step depends on how badly you need your job.

[LibraLabRat]

Ah, it is just a job. There is always the military, after all...free explosives, what is not to love?

[bacon]

Ah, it is just a job. There is always the military, after all...free explosives, what is not to love?

you have a good point there - free explosives is always a good thing - especially when you can take them back to your former employee . . .

Confused I asked why this was the case and they treated me like I was just causing trouble. In the end they agreed to let me stay for my shift if I wore a sweatshirt, and they refused to ask any other employee's to cover religious symbols on thier clothes or remove religious jewellery.

i would personally get the fsm necklace and just wear that all the time. hmmm - not a bad idea actually

[LibraLabRat]

My unit did not appreciate my FSM on my k-bucket....but hey, I did it in sharpie, so what could they do?

[Nuitaran]

The latest development is that in the end His Great Noodly Appendage may SAVE my job. My manager has been extremely nitpicky with me over the last few days, without getting into detail about what I do suffice it to say that evaluation of performance can be extremely arbitrary. (E.G.- "IF you had ended that sentence with an uptone instead of a downtone it would have been a sale...")

As I believe this is just further religious persecution from him, and I got no support from HR I have gone over HR's head to the CEO of the company whom I have discovered is agnostic. He seemed to agree that if someone can wear a cross I can wear symbols of FSM and also seemed to agree that the attacks on my performance are unwarranted. If this doesn't resolve it my next step is the Maine Labor Board to file a grievance.
Thanks to all for your suggestions.

If you truly believe that this is your religion, by all means, stand up for yourself.
If you are just goofing around with it, well, I guess your next step depends on how badly you need your job.

Of course it's my religion! I was promised a beer Volcano and a Striper Factory and I want it!

[Tigger_the_Wing]

Of course it's my religion! I was promised a beer Volcano and a Striper Factory and I want it!

Tigger thoroughly agrees with Striper factories!

[Nuitaran]

Of course it's my religion! I was promised a beer Volcano and a Striper Factory and I want it!

Tigger thoroughly agrees with Striper factories!

That was supposed to be stripper.....

[Tigger_the_Wing]

But Striper is funnier, when you're a Tigger!

[Scott the Pirate]

The only thing i can say is "good job!" It is illogical to make you remove your religious symbol while others wear theirs. My laptop has an FSM on it and it (along with the "Darwin loves you!" sticker and the "Just wear it" sticker shaped like a condom) never fails to attract some attention. I said in another thread that when i find a job i'll wait til i discover whether the boos has a sense of humor and then ask for every friday off for religious reasons.