GOD

[Pastamakesmehappy]

maybe the Christians got it wrong from the start... GOD may actually have been the acronym for "Glory Of al Dente"
but they twisted it to their own quest for power

[DaveL]

GOAD

It must have been pronounced in an Inspector Cleauseau accent.

[Roy Hunter]

Actually that's the way it's pronounced in bits of Glasgow, particularly Maryhill, Pollok, Drumchapel, Easterhouse, etc. etc. "Oh... ma-i... GO-AD!"

[TwistedSister]

NJ.
Oh.......My.......Gawd!!

[Ruote]

Actually, this is something that confirms yet again the validity of the claims of Pastafarianism:

Formerly (and even unto the present, so scratch that pretentious "formerly" crap) the Hebrews (or reasonable facsimiles) have refused to pronounce the name of God. I believe this is an historically significant fact, because, as we all know, pasta in its current incarnation does not appear in historical records until the thirteenth or fourteenth century A.D. (al dente), which means that, when Moses was told off by God for being too wimpy around fourteen hundred B.C. (before carbonara), when He told him, "look, guy, just tell 'em I sent you, alright? It'll be fine, tell 'em 'I am that I am' sent me, and the Pharaoh will say 'sure, go ahead and take away all my manual labor force, why not, indeed?'" there was no way Moses could have known he was being teased by Noodly Appendages.

Which means that the FMS was present even then, but besides being unseeable and undetectable, It (He? She?) was also unnamable!

Here endeth my current syncretism effort with a final meditation: What if the word G-O-D was meant to be an exhortation to Go Obtain Durum? That means humanity wasted about three thousand years before realizing that we must have PASTA!

Ruote

[Robbobrob]

Well, that is certainly something too chew on.

[Linguines Witness]

It is an interesting argument to state that pasta was not invented until later in Creation as a lack of proof of God.

The problem arises when we discuss issues of faith, that we need to look at archaelogical instances parralleling cultural experiences. It is not suffice to state, "We have no record of it" to determine it does not exist. Lack of proof is not a proof of lack of existence.

As we believe with our faith in FSM (Marinara Be Upon Him)

Historically, daily events and activities, such as eating, laundry, were rarely documented.

Example: There is no record of christians sodomized goats & pigs, however we have evidence there must have been a significant amount of this activity to require their god to determine it was a bad thing. As we all know, christianity is one of those 'made up' religions so it is more likely, based on facts, a church leader or political mucky muck jealous that the sheep he was dating would never call him for a second date.

But I digest.

Common activities not being documented, it is not proof that spaghetti, or any related pasta oriented activities, consumptions or tools of worship did not exist. The documentation that spaghetti was 'created' in a later century could merely be a significant marketing campaign, such as the pet rock, potted velcro plants, and douchebags. Later, or earlier depending on the design of the Architects of Unbelief, the heralds of the this time of the Coming of the Pastas determined to squelch the spread of FSM belief by presenting counter-evidence to the fact that Pasta is too modern to have made a significant impact on our culture, civilization and Divine Creation.

All these things I speak in the word of noodles.
Praise FSM (MBUH)
RAmen

- Jim, Linguines Witness

[Edd]

Thank you for clearing up a point that has disturbed me for some time, LW. Often, when waxing philosophical and theological, I wondered why the FSM waited until so recently, historically speaking, to give us (or allow us to discover) pasta. Surely noodles, something so truly representational of the inebriated divinity, should have been present since midgits walked the earth.

Now, thanks to your enlightening missive, I see the error of my ways. Like many unbelievers, I was simply accepting the rhetoric doled out by historians and their books. Of course, lack of evidence isn’t proof of the non-existence of pre-historic pasta! I will remember this argument when confronted by a-pasta-ists claiming that my belief in a Flying Spaghetti Monster which pre-dates modern times is unfounded.