Famous Pirate Biographies

Arrr, I be a pirate!

Moderator: All Things Mods

Famous Pirate Biographies

Postby black bart on Tue Feb 12, 2008 6:36 am

To inspire us all I've started a list of famous Pirates. Model yourself on one of the real Pirates of yore, simply marvel at their dare devil lives or make up your own legends.

Famous Pirate Biographies No 1:

Blackbeard:

Image

Edward Teach (c. 1680– November 22, 1718), better known as Blackbeard, was a notorious English pirate in the Caribbean Sea and western Atlantic during the early 18th century, a period referred to as the Golden Age of Piracy. His best known vessel was the Queen Anne's Revenge, which is believed to have run aground near Beaufort Inlet, North Carolina in 1718. Excavations of the site are ongoing and may have uncovered Blackbeard's cabin.

Blackbeard often fought, or simply showed himself, wearing a big feathered tricorn, and having multiple swords, knives, and pistols at his disposal. It was reported in the General History of the Pirates that he had hemp and lit matches woven into his enormous black beard during battle. Blackbeard is the premier image of the seafaring pirate.

He wasn't as good as Black Bart though.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Postby The Black Spot on Tue Feb 12, 2008 7:17 am

Famous Pirate Biographies No 2:

Rasputin Ratstrangler:

Image

1620 - 1747

Escaped psychopath who terrorised the Spanish coast. No vessel was safe from his attacks. It would have been even worse if he'd had a ship.
User avatar
The Black Spot
Stripmeister
 
Posts: 2277
Joined: Thu Sep 15, 2005 7:55 pm
Location: England

Ahab

Postby black bart on Wed Feb 13, 2008 7:04 am

Captain Ahab

Image

Not strictly a Pirate but he was obsessed wiv huntin Wales so he be my sworn enemy. I think he was from Nantucket so he be handy for yer limerics.

Captain of the Pequod, the Mysterious Captain Ahab was combination of Macbeth, Job, and Milton's Satan, Melville named the character after the Israelite king who worshiped the pagan sun god Baal. Ahab reveals to the crew that the purpose of the voyage is to hunt and kill the snow-white sperm whale, known as Moby-Dick, that had cost Ahab his leg on a previous voyage.

Ahab has nailed a goldpiece to the mast and offers it as a reward to the first man who sights the creature. Starbuck (his descendants moved to Chicago to found a well known chain of coffee shops), the first mate, tries to dissuade Ahab from the quest. The novel culminates when Moby-Dick charges the boat which sinks. Ahab is drowned, tied by the harpoon line to his arch enemy.

In his end Ahab takes his crew with him. The only survivor is the narrator, who is rescued by a passing ship. Some think that Ahab was actually Captain Cronan.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Cronan

Postby black bart on Thu Feb 14, 2008 8:10 am

Captain Cronan

Image

1540 - ?

Legendary Pirate who's very name strikes fear into the heart of men. Born...no man knows...but most likely Hell itself!

Little is known of Cronan's whereabouts although he does call in at The Admiral Benbow for a bottle of Old Nick on foggy nights.

I repeat this tale by The Black Spot to put some flesh on Cronan's bones:

The Ghostly Treasure

A few years ago, we be sailin round the Cape o' Good Hope, when one o' me officers sed this be where the legendary Cap'n Cronan were last sighted.

The story be that Cronan's ship met with disaster a few weeks after 'ee had buried 'is treasure worth several million pounds. No-one knew where the hidden treasure lay.

Later that evenin'after a few grogs, me first mate said that perhaps we should 'old a seance, an see if we could contact the spirit of Cap'n Cronan.

We all sat round the table in me cabin. We put the letters o' the alphabet in a circle, an put "Ahoy", "Belay", an "Arrr" in there too. Then we turned down the lights an all placed our hooks on the upturned grog tankard in the middle o' the table.

"Be there anyone there?" I sez. The tankard moved to "Arrr".

"Are ye the ghost o' Cap'n Cronan?" I asked. The tankard moved to "Arrr" again.

"Have ye a message fer us?" The tankard moved to "Arrr".

"Cap'n Cronan were never very talkative," said the bosun.

"Cronan!" I shouted. "Will ye tell us where be yer treasure be?"

The tankard moved round the table an spelled out A-Y-E-L-A-N-D

"It be buried on an island!" said me quartermaster.

"No, he means it's in Ireland!" said me first mate.

"No, he means "Aye, it's on land" said the bosun.

"Can ye be a bit more specific, Cronan" sez I.

B-U-R-I-E-D-B-Y-C-L-I-F-F

"Aharr," sez the bosun. "It be at the foot o' a cliff."

"Perhaps 'ee means that someone called Cliff buried it" said me first mate.

"No," sez me quartermaster. "It be buried in a graveyard next to someone called Cliff."

I be startin' to lose me rag by now. "Cronan," I shouted. "Where abouts in the world is it?"

The tankard just spelled a solitary letter: C.

"Arrr, it's an island in the sea," said the bosun. "Which sea?"

"I think the C stands fer Carribean," said the quartermaster.

"Perhaps he means we can see it from here," said me first mate.

I'd had enough by this time. I remembers tellin' Cronan 'ee were lucky that people couldn't be killed twice, an I'd come lookin' fer the bastid when me time came.

Still, I learned a lesson that day. Never have a seance with an illiterate ghost.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Long John Silver

Postby black bart on Tue Mar 04, 2008 10:34 am

Long John Silver

Image

The only man whom Captain Flint ever feared, Long John Silver was a Bristol man who served in the Royal Navy and lost his leg under "the immortal Admiral Hawke. Taken on as cook for the Hispaniola's expedition to Treasure Island, Silver leads the crew in a mutiny. Silver is one of only two former members of Captain Flint's crew to get his hands on a portion of the treasure (Benn Gun is the other).

Long John Silver had a parrot called Captain Flint in honour of his former captain. He also had an African wife back home in Bristol.

In the words of Silver aka Robert Newton:

Now clear up them there shambles, or I'll feed you piecemeal to the rats in the cellar.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Postby PantyGnawer on Tue Mar 25, 2008 3:03 am

PG sneaks in and steals all your rum
User avatar
PantyGnawer
Spam Bob Grill Pants
 
Posts: 4481
Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2007 9:17 pm
Location: Ask yer Mom.

Re: Famous Pirate Biographies

Postby Nef Yoo BlackBeard on Thu Jun 18, 2009 10:03 pm

nef yoo snuked eh an stold yer yummy rum caek!


fank ye yer welkum
cabin boy fir hyer. jyint hat no hextra charj.
User avatar
Nef Yoo BlackBeard
Mystic of Meatball
 
Posts: 2530
Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2009 10:45 pm
Location: off me leesh

Re: Famous Pirate Biographies

Postby black bart on Mon Jul 06, 2009 3:34 am

Grand Admiral Nef Yoo Blackbeard

Image

Promoted through the ranks at the tender age of 5 years before the mast (but mostly in thee bilge), his singin was feared accross the seven seas of Rye Vitta. After studying diligently at the Portsmouth Pirate Public School Nef Yoo bunked off to join Black Bart's ship the Big Brenda at Portsmouth docks.

Half an hour later Black Bart had Nef Yoo thrown over board but fortunately for Nef Yoo the tide was out an he landed in a picnic basket belonging to Auntie Blackbeard. The rest is history with lots o lollipops thrown in. Grand Admiral Nef Yoo Blackbeard is the scourge of paddling pools the world over.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Re: Famous Pirate Biographies

Postby Mad Willyum Bonney on Mon Jul 06, 2009 12:11 pm

Grand Admiral Nef Yoo Blackbeard

Image

Promoted through the ranks at the tender age of 5 years before the mast (but mostly in thee bilge), his singin was feared accross the seven seas of Rye Vitta. After studying diligently at the Portsmouth Pirate Public School Nef Yoo bunked off to join Black Bart's ship the Big Brenda at Portsmouth docks.

Half an hour later Black Bart had Nef Yoo thrown over board but fortunately for Nef Yoo the tide was out an he landed in a picnic basket belonging to Auntie Blackbeard. The rest is history with lots o lollipops thrown in. Grand Admiral Nef Yoo Blackbeard is the scourge of paddling pools the world over.

His later life endeavours in thee culinary arts gathered much attention from thee Portsmouth Pirate Gastronomic Institute , which awarded him thee coveted Poisoner Of Thee Year Award .
The prestigious award previously won three years successively by ChowMein , was presented in a lavish ceremony at thee Admiral Benbow in front of a vengeful crowd of Nefyoo's victims .
" Oi wuz robbed " (sic) , replied Chow .
Remembering St. John
Remembering Auntie DeeDee
Remembering times of innocence
User avatar
Mad Willyum Bonney
Admiral of Incomprehensibility
 
Posts: 3833
Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 8:34 am
Location: Bedlam

Re: Famous Pirate Biographies

Postby Calico Jack on Mon Jul 06, 2009 5:55 pm

CALICO JACK
Jack over there --------->
Sailed seven seas with all pirates!!! Also cruise ships.

Jack best known for pooping on the poop deck and impersonations.

Jack loves to sing!! Ackkkk!!

It's a pie rats life for me!!!!!
Jack got all yer wemmin!!!!
Who Jack pay???
User avatar
Calico Jack
Stele Second Mate
 
Posts: 434
Joined: Mon Jun 22, 2009 12:45 pm
Location: On any high perch

Re: Famous Pirate Biographies

Postby ChowMein on Thu Jul 30, 2009 1:31 am

Grand Admiral Nef Yoo Blackbeard

Image


His origins shrouded by thee foggy mists of it's mind , Nefyoo's autobiography must be largely ignored . The first written account of thee nefyoo appears in thee Necroplankecon , Deluxe Dragon Hide Edition .

Thee rumor is it was bunked with thee notorious parrot Calico Jack aboard thee feared ghost ship , " Thee Pooppy Decke " .
It is thee common belief that they stowed away on passing ships that were foolish enough to brave thee stench that permeated through thee massive dreary hulk of a ship .
To this day no one will claim that they have braved a dump or a tinkle aboard thee dread ship for fear of violence from thee inhabitants of Portsmouth .

Promoted through the ranks at the tender age of 5 years before the mast (but mostly in thee bilge), his singin was feared across the seven seas of Rye Vitta. After studying diligently at the Portsmouth Pirate Public School Nef Yoo bunked off to join Black Bart's ship the Big Brenda at Portsmouth docks.

Half an hour later Black Bart had Nef Yoo thrown over board but fortunately for Nef Yoo the tide was out an he landed in a picnic basket belonging to Auntie Blackbeard. The rest is history with lots o lollipops thrown in. Grand Admiral Nef Yoo Blackbeard is the scourge of paddling pools the world over.

His later life endeavours in thee culinary arts gathered much attention from thee Portsmouth Pirate Gastronomic Institute , which awarded him thee coveted Poisoner Of Thee Year Award .
The prestigious award previously won three years successively by ChowMein , was presented in a lavish ceremony at thee Admiral Benbow in front of a vengeful crowd of Nefyoo's victims .
" Oi wuz robbed " (sic) , replied Chow .
Quote :" ARRR! GAGAGAGA ! , ...de sailin' loife fer me. ARR! GAGAGAGAGa....arr gagaga.....a...". (Popeye The Sailor)
User avatar
ChowMein
Humble Hermit
 
Posts: 1570
Joined: Sat Mar 04, 2006 8:38 am
Location: Southern part of the Great White North

Re: Famous Pirate Biographies

Postby Auntie Blackbeard on Thu Jul 30, 2009 4:24 am

Grand Admiral Nef Yoo Blackbeard

Image


His origins shrouded by thee foggy mists of it's own mind , account's in Nefyoo's autobiography must largely be ignored . The first reliable account of thee nefyoo appears in thee Necroplankecon , Deluxe Dragon Hide Edition .

Thee rumor is it was bunked with thee notorious parrot Calico Jack aboard thee feared ghost ship , " Thee Pooppy Decke " .
It is thee common belief that they stowed away on passing ships that were foolish enough to brave thee stench that permeated through thee massive dreary hulk of a ship .
To this day no one will claim that they have braved a dump or a tinkle aboard thee dread ship for fear of violence from thee inhabitants of Portsmouth .

Promoted through the ranks at the tender age of 5 years before the mast (but mostly in thee bilge), his singin was feared across the seven seas of Rye Vitta. After studying diligently at the Portsmouth Pirate Public School Nef Yoo bunked off to join Black Bart's ship the Big Brenda at Portsmouth docks.

Half an hour later Black Bart had Nef Yoo thrown over board but fortunately for Nef Yoo the tide was out an he landed in a picnic basket belonging to Auntie Blackbeard. The rest is history with lots o lollipops thrown in. Grand Admiral Nef Yoo Blackbeard is the scourge of paddling pools the world over.

His later life endeavors in thee culinary arts gathered much attention from thee Portsmouth Pirate Gastronomic Institute , which awarded him thee coveted Poisoner Of Thee Year Award .
The prestigious award previously won three years successively by ChowMein , was presented in a lavish ceremony at thee Admiral Benbow in front of a vengeful crowd of Nefyoo's victims .
" Oi wuz robbed " (sic) , replied Chow .

A relative of thee esteemed , wise , and extremely attractive Auntie Blackbeard , who , in one of her famous displays of charity , gave nefyoo free room and board throughout his infant years .
Upon his escape from her bilge , nefyoo has been continuously honoring his debt of gratitude to his dear auntie by giving me at least fifty percent of his take , I always have a hot bowl of fish head stew ready for him .
Ye Crows Nest be open fer business me dearies.
User avatar
Auntie Blackbeard
Gramigna Grand Admiral
 
Posts: 1037
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2005 8:08 pm
Location: Ponderin' life atop me Crow's Nest

Re: Famous Pirate Biographies

Postby Qwertyuiopasd on Thu Jul 30, 2009 10:31 am

Me question be, whate'er happen' t' th' mermaid lass he wuz running around wif earlier.
daftbeaker wrote:But if I stop bugging you I'll have to go back to arguing with Qwerty about whether beauty is truth and precisely what we both mean by 'purple' :moon:


Any statistical increase in the usage of the :idiot: emoticon since becoming Admin should not be considered significant, meaningful, or otherwise cause for worry.
User avatar
Qwertyuiopasd
Admirable Admiral Qwerty
 
Posts: 14338
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2005 5:38 pm
Location: Northern Virginia

Re: Famous Pirate Biographies

Postby Mad Willyum Bonney on Thu Jul 30, 2009 2:07 pm

Grand Admiral Nef Yoo Blackbeard

Image


His origins shrouded by thee foggy mists of it's own mind , account's in Nefyoo's autobiography , " Tha Fissil Booke Ove Nefyoo BB " (sic) , must largely be ignored . The first reliable writting of thee nefyoo appears in thee Necroplankecon , Deluxe Dragon Hide Edition .

Thee rumor is , it bunked with thee notorious parrot Calico Jack aboard thee feared ghost ship , " Thee Pooppy Decke " .
It is thee common belief that they stowed away on passing ships that were foolish enough to brave thee stench that permeated through thee massive dreary hulk of a ship .
To this day no one will claim that they have braved a dump or a tinkle aboard thee dread ship for fear of violence from thee inhabitants of Portsmouth .

Promoted through the ranks at the tender age of 5 years before the mast (but mostly in thee bilge), his singin was feared across the seven seas of Rye Vitta. After studying diligently at the Portsmouth Pirate Public School Nef Yoo bunked off to join Black Bart's ship the Big Brenda at Portsmouth docks.

Half an hour later Black Bart had Nef Yoo thrown over board but fortunately for Nef Yoo the tide was out an he landed in a picnic basket belonging to Auntie Blackbeard. The rest is history with lots o lollipops thrown in. Grand Admiral Nef Yoo Blackbeard is the scourge of paddling pools the world over.

His later life endeavors in thee culinary arts gathered much attention from thee Portsmouth Pirate Gastronomic Institute , which awarded him thee coveted Poisoner Of Thee Year Award .
The prestigious award previously won three years successively by ChowMein , was presented in a lavish ceremony at thee Admiral Benbow in front of a vengeful crowd of Nefyoo's victims .
" Oi wuz robbed " (sic) , replied Chow .

A relative of thee esteemed , wise , and extremely attractive Auntie Blackbeard , who , in one of her famous displays of charity , gave nefyoo free room and board throughout his infant years .
Upon his escape from her bilge , nefyoo has been continuously honoring his debt of gratitude to his dear auntie by giving me at least fifty percent of his take , I always have a hot bowl of fish head stew ready for him .

Always thee pirate's pirate , nefyoo has proved himself to be a charmer with thee females , these wimmim should be pitied and professional help should be offered to thee poor unfortunates .
His latest baby sitter aka Yolanda Thee Mermaid , after a particular nasty turn at nefyoo's diaper has been in catatonic state since last Monday . However , tales of heartbreak or a foul stench cannot deter thee lovestruck from fawning over nefyoo .
Males are also not immune to his smooth talking ways , the stalwart Zankou has expressed his admiration on numerous occasions and secretly envies nefyoo's turn of a phrase .
Remembering St. John
Remembering Auntie DeeDee
Remembering times of innocence
User avatar
Mad Willyum Bonney
Admiral of Incomprehensibility
 
Posts: 3833
Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 8:34 am
Location: Bedlam

Re: Famous Pirate Biographies

Postby Nef Yoo BlackBeard on Tue Aug 04, 2009 3:48 pm

Grand Admiral Nef Yoo Blackbeard

Image


His origins shrouded by thee foggy mists of it's own mind , account's in Nefyoo's autobiography , " Tha Fissil Booke Ove Nefyoo BB " (sic) , must largely be ignored . The first reliable writting of thee nefyoo appears in thee Necroplankecon , Deluxe Dragon Hide Edition .

Thee rumor is , it bunked with thee notorious parrot Calico Jack aboard thee feared ghost ship , " Thee Pooppy Decke " .
It is thee common belief that they stowed away on passing ships that were foolish enough to brave thee stench that permeated through thee massive dreary hulk of a ship .
To this day no one will claim that they have braved a dump or a tinkle aboard thee dread ship for fear of violence from thee inhabitants of Portsmouth .

Promoted through the ranks at the tender age of 5 years before the mast (but mostly in thee bilge), his singin was feared across the seven seas of Rye Vitta. After studying diligently at the Portsmouth Pirate Public School Nef Yoo bunked off to join Black Bart's ship the Big Brenda at Portsmouth docks.

Half an hour later Black Bart had Nef Yoo thrown over board but fortunately for Nef Yoo the tide was out an he landed in a picnic basket belonging to Auntie Blackbeard. The rest is history with lots o lollipops thrown in. Grand Admiral Nef Yoo Blackbeard is the scourge of paddling pools the world over.

His later life endeavors in thee culinary arts gathered much attention from thee Portsmouth Pirate Gastronomic Institute , which awarded him thee coveted Poisoner Of Thee Year Award .
The prestigious award previously won three years successively by ChowMein , was presented in a lavish ceremony at thee Admiral Benbow in front of a vengeful crowd of Nefyoo's victims .
" Oi wuz robbed " (sic) , replied Chow .

A relative of thee esteemed , wise , and extremely attractive Auntie Blackbeard , who , in one of her famous displays of charity , gave nefyoo free room and board throughout his infant years .
Upon his escape from her bilge , nefyoo has been continuously honoring his debt of gratitude to his dear auntie by giving me at least fifty percent of his take , I always have a hot bowl of fish head stew ready for him .

Always thee pirate's pirate , nefyoo has proved himself to be a charmer with thee females , these wimmim should be pitied and professional help should be offered to thee poor unfortunates .
His latest baby sitter aka Yolanda Thee Mermaid , after a particular nasty turn at nefyoo's diaper has been in catatonic state since last Monday . However , tales of heartbreak or a foul stench cannot deter thee lovestruck from fawning over nefyoo .
Males are also not immune to his smooth talking ways , the stalwart Zankou has expressed his admiration on numerous occasions and secretly envies nefyoo's turn of a phrase .

"zankoo iz a pooh pooh ead"
i comandid
an den i wint an savd portsmuff fwumm lottsa munsters an tha roil navee tri ta catch me but i sayd
'na na' :tongue: pblaaaaatttt! :idiot:
an thay get mad et me an thay sayd
we gunna get ya nefyoo
no ya not
cos i band ya !
cabin boy fir hyer. jyint hat no hextra charj.
User avatar
Nef Yoo BlackBeard
Mystic of Meatball
 
Posts: 2530
Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2009 10:45 pm
Location: off me leesh

Next

Return to Pirate Discussion

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron