Ongoing Pun Competition

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Then they'll be dead, buried and have all those things, you know, can't remember the name... err, little bugs? Yeah, they'll have all those little bugs crawling around inside them.

[black bart]

Then they'll be dead, buried and have all those things, you know, can't remember the name... err, little bugs? Yeah, they'll have all those little bugs crawling around inside them.

Liddle bugs...er...I know...just can't quite get the word...er...Weevils?

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Then they'll be dead, buried and have all those things, you know, can't remember the name... err, little bugs? Yeah, they'll have all those little bugs crawling around inside them.

Liddle bugs...er...I know...just can't quite get the word...er...Weevils?

Nah nah nah, like cockroaches... only... smaller? Yeah, can't quite remember the name.

[black bart]

I know, I know...it's on the tip of my tongue...no, it's gone...Oh it's really bugging me!

[Mad Willyum Bonney]

Is the word , the very one that I am thinking of , at this very moment ?

[daftbeaker]

Wombles!

Oh sorry, they don't do bodies do they.

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Gosh, this is driving me completely up the drainpipe. I scratch my legs together and make a loud chirping noise in annoyance!

[black bart]

It wasn't the two silk worms who had a race was it?

No couldn't ave been cos they ended up in a tie.

[pieces o'nine]

And then they pupated into MOTHRA!

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Well, you know what they say... it's just A Taste of Honey that does it!

[Ubi Dubium]

I just got e-mailed this today. If you're not up on music theory, just ignore it:

A Musical Joke

C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "you're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural.

Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.

[pieces o'nine]

I hate to horn in on your joke, but it sounds like they had a fugue too many on that bend-er and got into treble. (Try to beat a rap like that!) Time to scale back before they lose all their lute.

[black bart]

No more musical puns please, I'm really brassed off.

[Ubi Dubius]

What's the matter, Bart? You can't Handel it?

[black bart]

Well..perhaps if the puns improve...in the words of Arnie, I'll be Bach.