You can only leave a message?

The place for general discussion about the Flying Spaghetti Monster and most things related to Him.

Moderator: All Things Mods

You can only leave a message?

Postby Ursidule on Sat Mar 07, 2009 7:01 am

The BBC reports:
"An art exhibition opening in the Netherlands will allow people to call a telephone number designated for God - but they will have to leave a message"

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7929799.stm

That's extremely lame. When I phone the number of my local Temple of Pasta and utter a short prayer such as "I'd like you to deliver..." for just a small love-offering the acolytes deliver the answer to my prayer - a Worshipful Repast. So much more spiritually nourishing (not to mention physically).

May the Sauce be with us all.

RAmen
"Bon-hommy" said Eeyore "A French word meaning bonhomie."
User avatar
Ursidule
Conchigliette Convert
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Sat Feb 28, 2009 2:54 pm
Location: Around Europe staying warm

Re: You can only leave a message?

Postby Roy Hunter on Sat Mar 07, 2009 8:03 am

When I want to talk to my God, I go and open the cupboard in the kitchen and - there He is!
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks.
"To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine.
"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln.
"If you're making a political point wearing a balaclava, you're a c***. It was true for the IRA and it's true now." ~ daftbeaker.
User avatar
Roy Hunter
If it's not Scottish, it's crap.
 
Posts: 15551
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2008 6:13 pm
Location: It's the place where you are, but that's not important right now.

Re: You can only leave a message?

Postby Platypus Enthusiast on Sat Mar 07, 2009 9:01 pm

Roy Hunter wrote:When I want to talk to my God, I go and open the cupboard in the kitchen and - there He is!


Really? I usually cook mine before I try talking to Him.
Check out an official Pastafarian holy book, the Loose Canon: http://loose-canon.fsm-consortium.com/the-loose-canon/

"With Him, All Things are Pasta-Bowl."
-ProvHerbs 3:35
User avatar
Platypus Enthusiast
Tortellini Third Mate
 
Posts: 350
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2007 12:21 am
Location: New Jersey: The Spaghetti State

Re: You can only leave a message?

Postby prabab on Sun Mar 08, 2009 7:12 am

Some Christians probably can't stand "physical" lack of their God (what means, that they can't properly understand their faith - shame). That's why they need such silly half-measures.

Poor beings. But does being poor justify that kind of stupidity?
Pardon my English.
User avatar
prabab
Ziti Zealot
 
Posts: 11
Joined: Tue Mar 03, 2009 8:28 am
Location: Poland, Wroclaw

Re: You can only leave a message?

Postby Ubi Dubius on Fri Mar 20, 2009 3:08 pm

Being omnipotent and all, you'd think he could answer every line. What, he's had to lay angels off?
Davros, Attorney and Pieces of Law
Keeping up appearances is a very important activity in religion; in fact, maintaining tattered illusions is its main activity. - Richard Wade, on Friendlyatheist.com
We make an idol of our fear and call it God. -Ingmar Bergman, The Seventh Seal
User avatar
Ubi Dubius
Set bail, me hearties!
 
Posts: 5253
Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2008 4:50 pm
Location: Varrrrrrgggggghhhhhhinia

Re: You can only leave a message?

Postby Ubi Dubium on Fri Mar 20, 2009 4:53 pm

"Your call is important to Us. Please stay on the line, and your prayer will be answered in the order it was received. To continue in English, press 1. To babble in tongues, press 2..."
Open your mind, but not so far your brain falls out

"Hurry up, before we all come to our senses!" - King Julien
User avatar
Ubi Dubium
Mystic of Meatball
 
Posts: 2563
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 2:10 pm
Location: This is my brain, and I live in it.

Re: You can only leave a message?

Postby Scott the Pirate on Tue Mar 24, 2009 5:44 pm

I may have said this before, but i got a little "lost" on a "trip" once and the next day a friend asked "what did you do last night?" and all i could say was "I talked to God". :guilty:
Roy Hunter wrote:Then, when you've got to know them a bit and their defences are down, you go all Scott the Pirate on them...
:lech:
User avatar
Scott the Pirate
Corrupter of Youth
 
Posts: 8370
Joined: Tue May 27, 2008 11:32 pm
Location: Either on my bike or at the bar in New Hope, MN

Re: You can only leave a message?

Postby Roy Hunter on Wed Mar 25, 2009 4:00 am

Around these parts, when you drink too much and end up on your knees with your head over the toilet, you are said to be "Talking to God on the big, white telephone". I'm not sure He'd be grateful for what you've got to say to Him, though.
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks.
"To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine.
"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln.
"If you're making a political point wearing a balaclava, you're a c***. It was true for the IRA and it's true now." ~ daftbeaker.
User avatar
Roy Hunter
If it's not Scottish, it's crap.
 
Posts: 15551
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2008 6:13 pm
Location: It's the place where you are, but that's not important right now.

Re: You can only leave a message?

Postby black bart on Wed Mar 25, 2009 6:03 am

Can you text him?

dr god r u ok with oll c4n.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Re: You can only leave a message?

Postby Scott the Pirate on Wed Mar 25, 2009 12:37 pm

Roy Hunter wrote:Around these parts, when you drink too much and end up on your knees with your head over the toilet, you are said to be "Talking to God on the big, white telephone". I'm not sure He'd be grateful for what you've got to say to Him, though.


In MN, USA it's "praying to the porcelain god".

I have a comic called "opus" on my 'frige. WTH here's a link:

http://www.jokelibrary.net/education/af ... -opus.html

Now, would a being so powerful as to be able to create this vast and glorious universe really have anything to say to us that would even have meaning to our tiny little minds? I think that it was Dr. House who said "You might as well ask ants what they think of the stock market".
Roy Hunter wrote:Then, when you've got to know them a bit and their defences are down, you go all Scott the Pirate on them...
:lech:
User avatar
Scott the Pirate
Corrupter of Youth
 
Posts: 8370
Joined: Tue May 27, 2008 11:32 pm
Location: Either on my bike or at the bar in New Hope, MN

Re: You can only leave a message?

Postby Scramby on Mon Apr 20, 2009 4:55 pm

Roy Hunter wrote:Around these parts, when you drink too much and end up on your knees with your head over the toilet, you are said to be "Talking to God on the big, white telephone". I'm not sure He'd be grateful for what you've got to say to Him, though.


It's funny, I always heard it as "Calling ralph on the big white telephone."

Does that mean God's name is Ralph?
"Embodiment of Christ? Well, the Flying Spaghetti Monsters is now in my body, and he was delicious."
Scramby
Conchigliette Convert
 
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Apr 20, 2009 3:17 pm
Location: Las Vegas

Re: You can only leave a message?

Postby Ubi Dubium on Mon Apr 20, 2009 10:01 pm

Nah, it's Howard. The Christians remind themselves of this every Sunday

"...Howard be thy name..."
Open your mind, but not so far your brain falls out

"Hurry up, before we all come to our senses!" - King Julien
User avatar
Ubi Dubium
Mystic of Meatball
 
Posts: 2563
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 2:10 pm
Location: This is my brain, and I live in it.

Re: You can only leave a message?

Postby Roy Hunter on Tue Apr 21, 2009 2:58 am

Everyone knows God's name is Harold Wishart:

"Our father Wishart in heaven,
Harold be thy name..."
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks.
"To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine.
"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln.
"If you're making a political point wearing a balaclava, you're a c***. It was true for the IRA and it's true now." ~ daftbeaker.
User avatar
Roy Hunter
If it's not Scottish, it's crap.
 
Posts: 15551
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2008 6:13 pm
Location: It's the place where you are, but that's not important right now.

Re: You can only leave a message?

Postby daftbeaker on Tue Apr 21, 2009 1:55 pm

Roy Hunter wrote:Everyone knows God's name is Harold Wishart:

"Our father Wishart in heaven,
Harold be thy name..."

Who's Will then?

"Thy Will be done,
On Earth as it is in Heaven."
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything - Friedrich Nietzsche

But why is the rum gone?!
User avatar
daftbeaker
Help! I've fallen and can't get curry.
 
Posts: 11254
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2009 2:11 pm
Location: Surrey, England.

Re: You can only leave a message?

Postby TwistedSister on Tue Apr 21, 2009 2:08 pm

It's Will B. Dunn silly.............
* If evolution is just a theory, religion is just an opinion.
* You never know when I'll be watching.
User avatar
TwistedSister
Desperate, twisted cookie pusher
 
Posts: 10125
Joined: Wed Feb 18, 2009 12:27 pm
Location: N.E PA

Next

Return to All Things FSM

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests

cron