Venganzine Pyrate Cookbook

[tanguerra]

SneakerSupplier Frikasee

1. Dig a nice big pit and fill with fuel for a fire. Let the fire burn down until ye have nice red coals
2. Dress and season yer sneaker supplier to taste.
3. Insert a large stick from aft to stern and set yer cabin boy to slowly rotate over the coals fer several hours...

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

Welcome back Tangie. Oi think your order has already been taken on that one. Dinner is served!

[ChowMein]

Ummm ummm ummm , cod livarrrrrr oil , juss can't get enuff ove et ? Well mateys try ;

Cod Livarr Pate'

Wen ye be in tharr teerin' owt thee gutz an stuff , rip owt dem livarrs an boil them up , den ye smash em up good wiff ye mortarrrrs an pistols .

Mebbe ye wanna add sum herbs an' stuff .

Oi aint got no stuff ta spare , but ole herb brittlepotts be sleepin one orf in thee galley at thee momint.

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

fssh an stuff

thz b fssh
thz b shhrp
thz b oistur

toss away alla tha yucky stuff
an bite it an choo it an et it
it e z

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Pie Inna Boot
Git paycetree.
Git boot.
Git meat.

Smoosh meat inna boot.
Seezin wit' shoolayce.
Git paycetree. Cubber boot inna paycetree, foor intchis thick.
Throe boot inna hot playce, loike in betwickst Arseburn O'Leary's flamin' mornin' broo.
Leeve fer a bit. Drink sum rum.
Pull pie outta hot place, woipe orf ick.

Et.

[Roy Hunter]

Langoustines Béarnaise á la Pirate

First, prepare a compôte of sea kale and chervil stalks, using a balsamic vinegar and red wine reduction. Allow to set in the fridge.

Next, prepare your béarnaise sauce. Heat some butter in a solid bottomed pan. When it starts to foam, remove it from the heat and leave it until the milk solids precipitate out. Seive through a muslin cloth and keep warm.

Put some finely chopped shallots, crushed peppercorns,chopped tarragon and thyme, a bay leaf, and a mixture of white wine and tarragon vinegar in a solid bottomed pan and biol until reduced by a third. Strain into a bain marie.

Add egg yolks to the bain marie, fold in gently, then whisk. Remove from the heat, gently whisk in the clarified butter, and add some chopped chervil and chives.

Clean the langoustines, dust with smoked paprika (Morrocan is the best, but Hungarian will do at a pinch), then drizzle with rosemary-scented olive oil. Lightly sear the langoustines on a hot griddle for about a minute each side.

Create a small mound of the compôte in the centre of the plate, arrange the langoustines on the compôte, drizzle with some more rosemary-scented olive oil, and then carefully pour the béarnaise sauce around the outside of the plate.

To finish the dish Pirate style, garnish with a pork pie and fish heads, drizzle with two-stroke oil and cleave the plate in two with your cutlass. Bon appetit!

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

smashed potatows an turnips

Furst get sum potato
then get sum turnip
or ye can furst get thee turnip an then potato
puddem inna pot
if ye be old enuff
get sum boillin' water in thee pot
or else ye hava get a grownup to help ye

go an play
come back
stab thee potato withe yer trident or get a grownup with a cutlass
if thee potato an turnips be stabbed thru ezee it be good fer mushin

now get yer hans on yer spud turnip an pownd it an smash it all thee while cursi' them owt
add more stuff to it

yield : a lot of hans full

[pieces o'nine]

Langoustines Béarnaise á la Pirate
...
Bon appetit!

Wot freshe helle be this!

[ET, the Extra Terrestrial]

Beer an beenz

opin kan uv beenz
opin beer
drinks beer an eetz beenz

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Langoustines Béarnaise á la Pirate
...
Bon appetit!

Wot freshe helle be this!

Be dis... proppa cookery? Oi want nun ove that. Gimme sum Tin wif Weevils In or sum Pie Inna Boot enee daye!

[black bart]

Aaarrrgh no...therer be only one hancient tome more feared an dreaded than 'The Nekroplankecon, Long Winded Tales' an that be thee 'Venganzine Pyrate Cookbook!'

[Roy Hunter]

Wot freshe helle be this!

Be dis... proppa cookery? Oi want nun ove that. Gimme sum Tin wif Weevils In or sum Pie Inna Boot enee daye!

Aiming too high? OK, try this:

Scotch Rat.
Ingredients:
A rat
A loaf
Some SPAM

Unwrap the loaf. Let the rat eat its way into the end of the loaf, where it will eat the insides but leave the crusts alone (rats hate crusts).

Kill the rat (it's now fat enough to be nutritious).

Stuff the hollow loaf with SPAM.

Make a hole in the SPAM, and shove the dead rat into it.

Bake for 1 1/2 hours at 175˚C / Gas mark 6, or if you have a diesel pirate ship tie it to the exhaust manifold with baling wire (gaffer tape will do at a pinch).

Slice with your cutlass.

Serve.

Bon Appetit!

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Yarr, dat be bittir! Welkum ta thee fold!

[Dan (dat haole dude)]

Scotch Rat (provincial-stylee)...as above ^^, but sprinkle liberally with Vegemite, soak in beer, leave in sun 'til aroma causes gallahs to shut up..drizzle with 'roo spit and serve..

[Roy Hunter]

Barbecue Chicken Kebab

Ingredients:
A chicken
Some fish heads
Some rum
A peg-leg
A cutlass
A bucket

Method:
Sharpen the end of your peg-leg with your cutlass. Stamp on the chicken with it (it's easier to catch the chicken and stamp on it if you get it drunk first). Prepare a marinade of rum and fish heads in the bucket, and then stand with your peg-leg in the bucket to marinade / drown the chicken (you can do this while standing at the bar having a wee snifter of something-or-other if you like).

Once you're too drunk to know any better, throw your peg-leg on the barbecue for about 10 minutes on each side (if you remember to remove it from your stump first, that's a good thing), while you have another little drink. The chicken will be cooked perfectly, and you will be legless.

Bon Appetit!