Once upon a time there were three Spanish Conquistadors that happened to be transgendered. Their armor was pink and fluffy, with little lambs and bunnies imprinted on the codpiece. Their quest was to destroy the credibility of Beatrix Potter. First they went to the beer store to supply themselves with the necessary three kegs apiece and caught a glimpse of the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the Men's room. They bowed down, oblivious of the fact that three guillotines were ready to kill their parrots and eye-patches. They asked Him to bless their mugs of ale. As the guillotines were being readied, a gigantic purple Koolaid pitcher smashed into all three blades, preventing the severing of their umbilical cords which let the Conquistadors, pimps, weathermen, and the One who Rules Them All escape into Mordor. But, due to Farmer McGregor's bad breath, they were a little retarded.
Bobby Henderson arrived wearing an unusual watered silk ensemble, encrusted with large, red rhinestones. He danced suggestively with the unbelievably large unwieldy sword of Damocles hanging over his head, while little pieces of his facial hair wave suggestively at the Viking Chief Eyvindr the Plagiarist and his pet Brunhild the Sponge who happened to happen there as it happens. Suddenly a shot rang the doorbell. Brunhild, even though she preferred BIG shots, struck a pose like a stud trotskyite lap dancer from the Gulag Archipelago, otherwise known as Boris the Limbless Orangutan. She then take a left-over raspberry pavlova and threw it..
"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays."