The Agony and the Ecstacy
Pretend to go into a seizure, letting eyes go blank, one half of face droop, jaw to hang slackly, with a one silver runnel of drool, one of snot, trailing onto your shirt.
Making the following decibel-up-spiraling guttural noise, "UNNNNGGGG!!!!....UUUUUNNNNNGGHGGGGHHH!!....etc., ad infinitum,"
Begin to twitch/shamble/lurch careeningly, yet with inevitable unerring surety, towards, and against your opponent. Appear dying.
Lurch into him/her, and begin to spasm uncontrollably, esp. with the neck.
The drool and snot runnels should by now be a free-foaming cauldron, nee, an erupting volcano of saliva, dankly splattering everything around you, but mostly their face.
Twitch-lurch them into a corner, trapping them against the walls, and as they atempt to hold their agonized face(and soul) squinched shut and away from your floppingly disgusting carcass, begin to subtly turn quasi-sexual in your spasmings, thus humping mindlessly against whatever part of their body they cannot turn away along with the rest.
Increase the tempo, volume, and frequency of your "UUUUUNNNNNNNNGHGGGGHHHH!!!!'s", culminating suddenly in a frozen, ecstatic-transported posture/expression of braindead, drooling, vibrating stupefaction.
Collapse limply to the floor, as if in a coma.(At this point, you may want to apathetically(w/o noticing)- leak vomit, and/or completely void the bladder.)
They will run.
...and never return.
If they see you coming toward them, ever, anywhere, they will turn and run the other way.