Good news for the fight against global warming!! <joke>

Arrr, I be a pirate!

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Good news for the fight against global warming!! <joke>

Postby OnceOrTwice on Tue Nov 25, 2008 5:40 pm

<joke>
November 25: Somali Pirates in Discussions to Acquire Citigroup

Location: New York
Author: Bloomberg
Date: Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Bloomberg - The Somali pirates, renegade Somalis known for hijacking ships for ransom in the Gulf of Aden, are negotiating a purchase of Citigroup.

The pirates would buy Citigroup with new debt and their existing cash stockpiles, earned most recently from hijacking numerous ships, including most recently a $200 million Saudi Arabian oil tanker.

The Somali pirates are offering up to $0.10 per share for Citigroup, pirate spokesman Sugule Ali said earlier today. The negotiations have entered the final stage, Ali said. ``You may not like our price, but we are not in the business of paying for things. Be happy we are in the mood to offer the shareholders anything," said Ali.

The pirates will finance part of the purchase by selling new Pirate Ransom Backed Securities. The PRBS's are backed by the cash flows from future ransom payments from hijackings in the Gulf of Aden. Moody's and S&P have already issued their top investment grade ratings for the PRBS's.

Head pirate, Ubu Kalid Shandu, said "we need a bank so that we have a place to keep all of our ransom money. Thankfully, the dislocations in the capital markets has allowed us to purchase Citigroup at an attractive valuation and to take advantage of TARP capital to grow the business even faster."

Shandu added, "We don't call ourselves pirates. We are coastguards and this will just allow us to guard our coasts better."

This article first ran on Bloomberg.

As we all know:
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You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.
- Venerable Prophet of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Bobby Henderson
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Re: Good news for the fight against global warming!! <joke>

Postby black bart on Wed Nov 26, 2008 6:15 am

Good news indeed matey...but to have an effect on Global Warming they need a logo that reflects the businesses new identity:

Image
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Re: Good news for the fight against global warming!! <joke>

Postby Blackened on Thu Dec 04, 2008 3:06 pm

I was recently trolling through news articles on the BBC, when I happened to notice a trend. Has anyone else noticed the cooler global temperatures and growing glaciers coinciding with the sudden resurgence of pirates!

Coincidence?!
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Pirate power advances towards the heart of the Old Europe!

Postby Andrey Kurtenkov on Fri Dec 05, 2008 6:51 am

Dauntless pirates sail the Danube and plunder any vessel they catch on their way, reads an article in the Serbian newspaper "Politika". The Balkan pirates are not as spectacular as their Somalian colleagues as they do not take hostages but instill fear with threats for physical violence. A Bulgarian sailor proved too hard a nut. The Politika tells of the "headstrong Bulgarian" who put up resistance and was thrown into the river. After the incident the crew yielded to the attackers.
The Danube pirates often attack Bulgarian ships. For the last two years 38 crew-free compositions of Bulgarian River Shipping have been attacked and plundered at the Smederevo port (in Sesbian part of the river). The river section where pirates are most active is from Smederevo to Belgrade. The section is unguarded and pirates have little difficulty in snatching booty - oil, metals, wheat, sugar and fertilizers.
En mateno de hela ero, per la forĉo de espero, venas viglaj pastafaroj, vere fluganta gefratoj.
Ah, vi flugu, Nia Monstro! Vin observas milionoj serĉiantaj vermiĉeloj, per espero kaj per amo.
Kaj la bona pastafaro post la malfermita pordo, trovos la eternan vivon en pastafara paradizo!
Pastafarier aller Länder, vereinigt euch!
Българска пастафарианска църква (Bulgarian Pastafarian Church)
- за прослава на Макаронения Бог :worship: :fsm_float:
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