Piratic Poetry

Arrr, I be a pirate!

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Can ye read and write?

No I'm completely dyslexic and illiterate
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18%
I can only spell using a semaphore
8
10%
Only when I use one eyepatch, not two
26
31%
Yes of course ye blaggard, but it's difficult to write with a hook
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Total votes : 83

Re: Piratic Poetry

Postby black bart on Tue Oct 28, 2008 6:12 am

For at the Benbow Inn
They keeps a slate tab
An if ye don't settle im
They stab yer in the back
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Re: Piratic Poetry

Postby pieces o'nine on Wed Oct 29, 2008 10:47 am

They stabbe yer wiv theyre cutlasses
They stabbe yer wiv theyre knyves.
Then bille ye fer the bleedin mess
Yer maykin' in theyre dyves.
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens
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Re: Piratic Poetry

Postby Dan (dat haole dude) on Wed Oct 29, 2008 12:42 pm

They batter ye wit' cornmeal
They batter ye wit' egg
They put lice inside yer "jyint 'at"
and termites in yer leg
'Oli no au i na pono FSM e
E hau'oli na 'opio o FSM nei
'Oli e! 'Oli e!
Mau ke aloha, no FSM
Dan (dat haole dude)
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Re: Piratic Poetry

Postby Edd on Wed Oct 29, 2008 1:09 pm

They be right dodgy at the Benbow Inn
Theyre hearts be black as theyre teeth
And strangers get ‘thee speshull grog’
which means it’s cheap and weak
"Oook." - The Librarian

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Re: Piratic Poetry

Postby pieces o'nine on Wed Oct 29, 2008 4:54 pm

Lads, don' drink thee "Speshul Grogge"
If it hasna got a heade.
I don' loike ter say wots hininit,
But those wot drank arrrgh deade.
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens
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Re: Piratic Poetry

Postby black bart on Thu Oct 30, 2008 9:33 am

Good news mateys the Benbow
Has installed a nice new urinal
So now when ye pee
Ye can shake it with glee
And not splash all over the vinyl
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Re: Piratic Poetry

Postby Dan (dat haole dude) on Thu Oct 30, 2008 11:17 am

Arrgh!! ye kin widdle onna tile
ye kin whiz upon da seat
but if yez pee 'pon da vinyl
they'll nail yer danglies to a cleat!
'Oli no au i na pono FSM e
E hau'oli na 'opio o FSM nei
'Oli e! 'Oli e!
Mau ke aloha, no FSM
Dan (dat haole dude)
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Re: Piratic Poetry

Postby Edd on Wed Nov 05, 2008 3:04 pm

Oh, yes, the Benbow's urinals
are certainly up-and-coming
Why, it's rumoured that one day soon
we may even have indoor plumbing!
"Oook." - The Librarian

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Re: Piratic Poetry

Postby Dan (dat haole dude) on Wed Nov 05, 2008 11:21 pm

heere's to da Addy Benbow, da best uv alla pubs
wit' rum t' slake yer thirst, and "Fish'ead Stoo" in tubs..

and pleeze be nice t' Saucy Gert (dat flirty servin' wench)
cuz if yer notte, she'll gette hotte (an' smack yez wit' a wrench!)

da guy o'er there? oh, it's DaveL (in pink he would be dressin')
& he likes t' get 'is jollies inna tub of Oil of Wesson.. :D
'Oli no au i na pono FSM e
E hau'oli na 'opio o FSM nei
'Oli e! 'Oli e!
Mau ke aloha, no FSM
Dan (dat haole dude)
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Posts: 2358
Joined: Fri Sep 19, 2008 7:30 pm
Location: under da wing of koloa nui..

Re: Piratic Poetry

Postby black bart on Thu Nov 06, 2008 3:00 pm

Twere dark in the alley last noight
As I crept ome wiv a gut full o grog
It gave me a terrible froight
When I heard a scream in the fog

Cap'n Worley has spoke o the fiend
They call the terrible Werepoof
I felt a hand on me hind
An I nearly jumped on the roof
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Re: Piratic Poetry

Postby Edd on Sat Nov 08, 2008 8:43 pm

Black Bart is truly humorous
believing all overtures amorous
but, Bart, while your pocket may be picked
by those with enough gall
your ‘hind’ will remain safe
from were-poofs, one and all.
"Oook." - The Librarian

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Re: Piratic Poetry

Postby ken worley on Sun Nov 09, 2008 7:36 pm

Edd wrote:Black Bart is truly humorous
believing all overtures amorous
but, Bart, while your pocket may be picked
by those with enough gall
your ‘hind’ will remain safe
from were-poofs, one and all.


Argh, for THAT, there be many a reason,
He still be bart, therefore not too eye-pleasin',
Plus, 'ee be's Welsh,
So Has speech like a belch, is
Poor mannered, 'n' absent 'o' reason...

If that weren't enuff o' disclaimers,
To keep his sad "hind" outta danger,
Three munfs also 'ees spent
(wifout offer o' rent)-
In Turtil-Holmes' anti-poof chamber.

As to why the girls also do shun,
ask 'im yerself,
My werk 'ere be done....




GRRRRR...

(Ursine for "yargh.)
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Re: Piratic Poetry

Postby black bart on Mon Nov 10, 2008 8:26 am

There was a Scottish sailor (named Ken)
Who sailed the seven seas
He met a wench called Capellini
Who brought him to his knees

He showed the girl his clipper
He thought she'd be impressed
But she jumped clean out the porthole
When she saw Ken undressed.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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black bart
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Re: Piratic Poetry

Postby Dan (dat haole dude) on Fri Nov 21, 2008 1:10 am

On shore-leave in Portmeirion, Cymru..
Satiidy nyghte wif' nuffin' t' do..
Pulled a grrl from Gwynedd
Who tooke mee uppe t' 'er bedde
Fer ravishmente, cuddlin', an' snoo*


*"wot's snoo?" oi 'ears yez arsk...weeelll, notte muche rilly, ta fer arskin'...wot's snoo, wit' you? :fsm_yarr:
'Oli no au i na pono FSM e
E hau'oli na 'opio o FSM nei
'Oli e! 'Oli e!
Mau ke aloha, no FSM
Dan (dat haole dude)
Mystic of Meatball
 
Posts: 2358
Joined: Fri Sep 19, 2008 7:30 pm
Location: under da wing of koloa nui..

Re: Piratic Poetry

Postby black bart on Fri Nov 21, 2008 8:44 am

Nantucket
Nantucket
Nantucket
We're on the way to Nantucket
The winds from the West
And it's blown orf me vest
Oh f*** *t!
Oh f*** *t!
Oh f*** *t!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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