New Excuses to Call Off Work.

[Dan (dat haole dude)]

can't come to work cuz i'm hiding from kw's bear--he's waddling in from AZ to whack me for capitalizing kw in another thread..i figure it'll take the bear about a week and a half to get here, boss..so please don't worry if i'm not there until mid-November..(not to worry, tho..i'll work just as hard @ home (in the basement, behind the tattered sofa) as i do @ the gym)

[black bart]

I was just about to leave the Casablanca Club last night when some wise guy came in and ordered me to play it again and again and again...

[ken worley]

^ Has a sorely-ravaged trajektory.

[BumbleBee]

Hi Boss, I can't come to work today, I have a coke bottle in my rectum

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

I can't come in today, as I was consensually raped by a tall blonde with huge boobs and a skinny waist last night...

[Edd]

I can't come in today, as I was consensually raped by a tall blonde with huge boobs and a skinny waist last night...

Sorry I can’t come in to work today, but my mind is caught up in an endless loop trying to make sense of the phrase ‘consensually raped.’

[fueledbycoffee]

I can't come in today, as I was consensually raped by a tall blonde with huge boobs and a skinny waist last night...

Sorry I can’t come in to work today, but my mind is caught up in an endless loop trying to make sense of the phrase ‘consensually raped.’

He's a minor, she's not.

[Edd]

I can't come in today, as I was consensually raped by a tall blonde with huge boobs and a skinny waist last night...

Sorry I can’t come in to work today, but my mind is caught up in an endless loop trying to make sense of the phrase ‘consensually raped.’

He's a minor, she's not.

I can’t make it in to work today due to a near-terminal facepalm.