Title says it all.
I say Breaking Dawn, by Stephenie Meyers. I can understand WHY she wrote it, I can understand the ending, the plots and what not... but... eh! It just sucked! Why'd Edward have to knock her friggin up?! ><
Discuss more terrible books.
FSM Discussion
Dedicated to the teaching of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism
Worst book ever written..
Moderator: Other Stuff Mods
Worst book ever written..
by GreenRain22 on Mon Sep 08, 2008 6:34 am
Kaylee: Wash, tell me I'm pretty.
Wash: If I were unwed, I would take you up in a manly fashion.
Kaylee: 'Cause I'm pretty?
Wash: 'Cause your pretty.
(Wash and Kaylee, Firefly, Heart of Gold)
It's a broken hearts parade
And I'm putting my heart out on display
There's no masquerade
Just a funeral march for love today
The band strikes up and they're playing a song
Dressed in black, and we're singing along to the
Broken hearts parade
I've never been better then I am today
(Broken Hearts Parade - Good Charlotte)
Wash: If I were unwed, I would take you up in a manly fashion.
Kaylee: 'Cause I'm pretty?
Wash: 'Cause your pretty.
(Wash and Kaylee, Firefly, Heart of Gold)
It's a broken hearts parade
And I'm putting my heart out on display
There's no masquerade
Just a funeral march for love today
The band strikes up and they're playing a song
Dressed in black, and we're singing along to the
Broken hearts parade
I've never been better then I am today
(Broken Hearts Parade - Good Charlotte)
-
GreenRain22 - Chitarra Captain
- Posts: 715
- Joined: Sun Jun 15, 2008 8:36 pm
- Location: stalking random people
Re: Worst book ever written..
by Moral Minority on Mon Sep 08, 2008 6:35 am
Mein Kampf
The Bible
Twilight
The Bible
Twilight
-
Moral Minority - Prophet of Pastafarianism
- Posts: 5629
- Joined: Sun Jul 01, 2007 5:51 pm
- Location: Follow the trail of smoldering bodies.
Re: Worst book ever written..
by black bart on Mon Sep 08, 2008 8:53 am
Moral Minority wrote:Mein Kampf
The Bible
Twilight
I knew it...you're back already!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
-
black bart - Resident Weevil
- Posts: 25662
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
- Location: London
Re: Worst book ever written..
by Clifford on Mon Sep 08, 2008 8:54 am
Well if MM was wrong about the Vikings ...
Clifford
The Pedo-Finder General
RAmen
By the power invested in me by tabloid-reading imbeciles, I name you a pedo-dog!
The Pedo-Finder General
RAmen
-
Clifford - Brewmeister
- Posts: 1939
- Joined: Tue Sep 11, 2007 4:50 am
- Location: A Humble Student in Lunaticity
Re: Worst book ever written..
by Capellini on Mon Sep 08, 2008 10:12 am
Are we talking wonderfully bad, or horribly bad?
True terror lies in the futility of human existence.
Malcolm Reynolds is my co-pilot.
"The only freedom deserving the name, is that of pursuing our own good in our own way, so long as we do not attempt to deprive others of theirs, or impede their efforts to obtain it. Each is the proper guardian of his own health, whether bodily, or mental and spiritual. Mankind are greater gainers by suffering each other to live as seems good to themselves, than by compelling each to live as seems good to the rest." - John Stuart Mill
Malcolm Reynolds is my co-pilot.
"The only freedom deserving the name, is that of pursuing our own good in our own way, so long as we do not attempt to deprive others of theirs, or impede their efforts to obtain it. Each is the proper guardian of his own health, whether bodily, or mental and spiritual. Mankind are greater gainers by suffering each other to live as seems good to themselves, than by compelling each to live as seems good to the rest." - John Stuart Mill
-
Capellini - Capolean Bone-apart
- Posts: 4147
- Joined: Fri Jul 29, 2005 3:31 pm
- Location: The State of Denial
Re: Worst book ever written..
by Rainswept on Mon Sep 08, 2008 10:35 am
Critique of Pure Reason, Kant.
I believe it's time for mankind to set aside the crutch of religion and embrace morality born of reason and truth. Those crutches have long since proven treacherous when the ground gets slippery.
-
Rainswept - Caliph of Capitalist Fishing Pole Hobo Apologists
- Posts: 8923
- Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2005 9:11 pm
- Location: State of Disbelief
Re: Worst book ever written..
by pieces o'nine on Mon Sep 08, 2008 10:49 am
Perhaps not the worst book ever written, but one I found tedious and irritating: The Baltimore Catchism.
-
pieces o'nine - Look Upon Her Works, Ye Migyt, and Despair!
- Posts: 7987
- Joined: Fri Dec 21, 2007 9:21 am
- Location: Ocean o'Sand
Re: Worst book ever written..
by WelshRarePasta on Mon Sep 08, 2008 11:13 am
Theodore Dreiser's An American Tragedy. Made extra-special-worst by being almost-universally hailed as high literature but lots of people who haven't read it.
"Only a man would think of that."
"It's our job... If you don't think of fifty-foot-high killer golems first, someone else will." Moist von Lipwig
"Are you saying," Brine interrupted, "that the human race was created to irritate Satan?"
"That is correct. Jehovah is infinite in his snottiness."
Brine reflected on this for a moment and regretted that he had not become a criminal at an early age. --Practical Demonkeeping
"It's our job... If you don't think of fifty-foot-high killer golems first, someone else will." Moist von Lipwig
"Are you saying," Brine interrupted, "that the human race was created to irritate Satan?"
"That is correct. Jehovah is infinite in his snottiness."
Brine reflected on this for a moment and regretted that he had not become a criminal at an early age. --Practical Demonkeeping
-
WelshRarePasta - Fusilli Fuselier
- Posts: 189
- Joined: Sun Aug 17, 2008 1:38 pm
- Location: Vurr Gin I A
Re: Worst book ever written..
by fueledbycoffee on Mon Sep 08, 2008 12:10 pm
This one is more awesomely bad, but The Eye Of Argon by Jim Theis has the worst prose ever put on paper. Seriously. That is not an exaggeration. This is the Manos: The Hands of Fate of the fantasy literature world.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Eye_of_Argon - The Info.
http://www.dcs.gla.ac.uk/SF-Archives/Misc/Eye_Of_The_Argon - The Book itself.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Eye_of_Argon - The Info.
http://www.dcs.gla.ac.uk/SF-Archives/Misc/Eye_Of_The_Argon - The Book itself.
Vote Pieces for Pope! She didn't buy me off with the funny hat, I swear!... She made me a cardinal.
-
fueledbycoffee - Mystic of Meatball
- Posts: 2480
- Joined: Thu Jul 10, 2008 11:28 pm
- Location: Not quite close enough to Columbia, MD.
Re: Worst book ever written..
by Cricket on Mon Sep 08, 2008 12:51 pm
Oh lordy - that's the prose equivalent of Edgar Guest...
Empusa's crew, so naked-new they may not face the fire,
But weep that they bin too small to sin to the height of their desire,
(Kipling)
But weep that they bin too small to sin to the height of their desire,
(Kipling)
-
Cricket - Tortellini Third Mate
- Posts: 351
- Joined: Wed Jun 21, 2006 11:12 pm
- Location: Michigan
Re: Worst book ever written..
by HeathenPastafarian on Mon Sep 08, 2008 2:37 pm
Moral Minority wrote:Mein Kampf
The Bible
Twilight
-Twilight was GOOD! Breaking Dawn, however, was BAD! Wasn't a big fan of The Host either.
-I'm probably gonna get yelled at, but I could never get into Dickens....Great Expectations and Tale of Two Cities..ugh.
-I hated Lord of the Flies, though I understood the message.
-My mother in law sends me these Christian pseudo-novels that there is always a conservative message...One was called "The Senator's Agenda" which was anti-abortion and the Senator's daughter had a secret abortion and had a breakdown about it and her family gathered around her and they had a burial for the baby she gave up and the daughter became a vocal anti-abortion person in her father's campaign. Those books drive me crazy.
-Stop using Jesus as an excuse for being a narrow minded bigot.
-Music was her life, the lyrics were her story.
-Be careful what you say, it may remind me of a song that needs to be sung.
-GOT JESUS? I thought you had him....shit!
-Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?
-My pit bull is my co-pilot.
-To err is human; to ARRGGHHH is pirate!
-Why do we kill people who kill people to show people that killing people is wrong?
-Well behaved women rarely make history.
-Laughter: When a smile has an orgasm
-I'm not so good at the advice; can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
-Music was her life, the lyrics were her story.
-Be careful what you say, it may remind me of a song that needs to be sung.
-GOT JESUS? I thought you had him....shit!
-Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?
-My pit bull is my co-pilot.
-To err is human; to ARRGGHHH is pirate!
-Why do we kill people who kill people to show people that killing people is wrong?
-Well behaved women rarely make history.
-Laughter: When a smile has an orgasm
-I'm not so good at the advice; can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
-
HeathenPastafarian - Fusilli Fuselier
- Posts: 189
- Joined: Mon Jun 02, 2008 10:15 pm
- Location: Stabbed in the back with a permanent knife
Re: Worst book ever written..
by farfalla on Mon Sep 08, 2008 5:42 pm
Ethan Frome - depressing, soap operaish and whiney. Had to read it for English taught by an ancient dried up teacher. It was another 'life sucks, you suffer and die, but not soon enough' book.
~~~~~~/\~~~~~~
The heart has its reason, of which reason knows nothing. -Pascal - thanks, Z
"The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can't do."
Cpt Jack Sparrow
"I'm used to going out at 3 in the morning and doing something stupid."
Alan Moore
Silk 'n mind
The heart has its reason, of which reason knows nothing. -Pascal - thanks, Z
"The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can't do."
Cpt Jack Sparrow
"I'm used to going out at 3 in the morning and doing something stupid."
Alan Moore
Silk 'n mind
-
farfalla - Feline Fatale
- Posts: 10467
- Joined: Fri Apr 20, 2007 1:13 am
- Location: by the waterfall
Re: Worst book ever written..
by Capellini on Mon Sep 08, 2008 7:35 pm
Catcher in the Rye
Sorry, just found it boring as all hell.
Sorry, just found it boring as all hell.
True terror lies in the futility of human existence.
Malcolm Reynolds is my co-pilot.
"The only freedom deserving the name, is that of pursuing our own good in our own way, so long as we do not attempt to deprive others of theirs, or impede their efforts to obtain it. Each is the proper guardian of his own health, whether bodily, or mental and spiritual. Mankind are greater gainers by suffering each other to live as seems good to themselves, than by compelling each to live as seems good to the rest." - John Stuart Mill
Malcolm Reynolds is my co-pilot.
"The only freedom deserving the name, is that of pursuing our own good in our own way, so long as we do not attempt to deprive others of theirs, or impede their efforts to obtain it. Each is the proper guardian of his own health, whether bodily, or mental and spiritual. Mankind are greater gainers by suffering each other to live as seems good to themselves, than by compelling each to live as seems good to the rest." - John Stuart Mill
-
Capellini - Capolean Bone-apart
- Posts: 4147
- Joined: Fri Jul 29, 2005 3:31 pm
- Location: The State of Denial
Re: Worst book ever written..
by Zankou 2.0 on Mon Sep 08, 2008 7:39 pm
Capellini wrote:Catcher in the Rye
Sorry, just found it boring as all hell.
That was a good book!
After I read it, I was at the park, and I saw "fuck you" written on the swings. I almost shit a brick.
--Zankou II
The thin line between genius and insanity is less of a border than a union.
"Science can purify religion from error and superstition; religion can purify science from idolatry and false absolutes. Each can draw the other into a wider world, a world in which both can flourish."
--Pope John Paul II
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-Albert Einstein
The thin line between genius and insanity is less of a border than a union.
"Science can purify religion from error and superstition; religion can purify science from idolatry and false absolutes. Each can draw the other into a wider world, a world in which both can flourish."
--Pope John Paul II
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-Albert Einstein
-
Zankou 2.0 - Purveyor of Triviality
- Posts: 9547
- Joined: Thu Jun 21, 2007 6:14 pm
- Location: Ontario, Canada
Re: Worst book ever written..
by Cricket on Mon Sep 08, 2008 8:46 pm
Ethan Frome - depressing, soap operaish and whiney. Had to read it for English taught by an ancient dried up teacher. It was another 'life sucks, you suffer and die, but not soon enough' book.
After I finished "Ethan Frome" I just sat there for a minute thinking "Why in the name of all that 's holy did she feel the need to write this down?" I mean, if it was set to music, it would be "song to slash your wrists by".
Empusa's crew, so naked-new they may not face the fire,
But weep that they bin too small to sin to the height of their desire,
(Kipling)
But weep that they bin too small to sin to the height of their desire,
(Kipling)
-
Cricket - Tortellini Third Mate
- Posts: 351
- Joined: Wed Jun 21, 2006 11:12 pm
- Location: Michigan
Return to Books and Authors, Films and Directors
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2011 phpBB Group..