Piratic Poetry

[DaveL]

YArrrrr...

Ahoy there budding B-arrrrds and B-arrrrdettes. Life on the high seas is an awe inspiring past time. The exploits of the Buccanear have been embodied in the literary arts. Now here's ye chance to write some of yer most excitin prose.

* Have ye ever been to Madame Fifi's and had the hinsperashun to wax lyrical about that 'back rub' ye got?
* Have yer ever had trubbles understandin where all the Pirates are in Shakespeare?
* Did yer ever get the feelin if yer didn't get belted on the head and ship-napped, that ye had a career in the literary arts loomin?

Well now here's yer chance to show us yer creative wares, yer flea bitten scruffy, seagull dropping!

Yarrr to start the proceedins Oi though O'id write a poem entitled The Mermaids Tale (chortle chortle!)
This is what happens when yer take yer hallucinatin too far!

Arvast in the sands of time...
Did me me ship sail the dark Carribbean Waters...
And in the mists afar I did spy a vision...
a vision that got this old blaggard most excited...

For there, sittin on a rock was summit worthy of PlayBilge page 3...
A vision lovelier than me dear wife, I haven't seen for 30 years...
For her tail was long, her skin was soft and her eyes were big and dark...
It was the hottest, sexiest sight Oi ever did see...A Dugong!!

And I did propose to that Dugong on the rocks that day...
And she offer me her flipper in marriage...
And we have built our home on a large granite boulder...
And we have many baby dugongs and dugongettes...
Complete with eye patches, prosthetic hooks and peg fins...

And she loves my moustache and I love hers...
And she loves to go shopping for kelp, occasionally kelp and (when she's feeling naughty) kelp!
And after a hard day at the office pillaging and murdering...
My Lovely Mermaid awaits...

[black bart]

There once was a fine wench from Dover
With a soft spot for an old sea rover
Her name was Big Nancy
And if you tickled her fancy
She'd give ye a roll in the clover

[The Black Spot]

In me life at sea, I's sailed the world,
I's seen all manner o' things.
I's seen a mermaid's rump, I's seen a starfish jump,
I's seen an octopus with wings.

I's seen seaweed dance, and sharks that prance,
I's heard a singing pig.
But there'll always be, one thing I'll never see,
Plank wearing a decent wig.

[black bart]

In me life at sea, I's sailed the world,
I's seen all manner o' things.
I's seen a mermaid's rump, I's seen a starfish jump,
I's seen an octopus with wings.

I's seen seaweed dance, and sharks that prance,
I's heard a singing pig.
But there'll always be, one thing I'll never see,
Plank wearing a decent wig.

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Tharr once was an ol' fella from Tortuga.
He was as big and as woide as a beluga.
Hungry for flounder,
He went on a bender,
And fell in the cookpot to die.

[tanguerra]

Aarrrrgh! Bury me not in the cold, cold ground
But in the bosom of the briney sea
Arrgh! turn me loose on the bounding main
Whar the rum and cabin boys be free!

Arrrgh!

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

AARGH!
AARGH ARRGH!
AARGH ARGH YAARGH!
AARGH!

Thee ballad o' one-liner Raymond.

[black bart]

Ye puts yer left leg in
Ye puts yer left leg out
In Out
In Out
Ye Shake it all about
Ye can't put your right leg in cos a shark ate it four year ago.

[DaveL]

Oooo Lala!

Madame Fifi once gave me a back rub, in place the wasn't my back...
She used both hands, a goat, a spatula and a rather large Hessian sack...

When it look like she had finished, Oi let out a rather big scream...
Because next came the hot wax, anchovies and large container of cream...

When she was done with the foodstuffs, I thought Oi was on me way out...
But next thing Oi was on all fours, being beaten with a giant smoked trout...

Oi said 'thanks that'll do now, there be no food left in your house'...
But Fifi sent two of her girls out, to get a big bucket of louse...

And if yer hungry don't bother, because the food that looks quite a treat...
Will most likely, without question, end up on yer head, back and feet...

While the third world gets poorer and the townsfolk starves away...
Madame Fifi will be out in the Chamber, entertaining the night life's bad strays...

[black bart]

Eency Weensy Spider
Climbin up me peg leg
Out came me cutlass
An knocked im on the deck
Little blaggard turned around
I'm havin none o that
Down came me boot
An squished the blaggard flat

[tanguerra]

Aaaarghh! A pint at night is my delight
And a flagon in the mornin'
The old boys they're handy in a fight,
But the young ones is me darlins'

[Cpt Celle]

Ninja's to the left of us,
ninja's to the right of us.
Lightning an' thunder.
An' then something that end's somewhat similarly soundin' to the end of previous line but surely a lot shorter than this un, now where did I leave me grog.

Argh.

[black bart]

Great stuff...an none o ye's stooped to mentioning Nantucket...yet.

[DaveL]

Ninja's to the left of us,
ninja's to the right of us.
Lightning an' thunder.
An' then something that end's somewhat similarly soundin' to the end of previous line but surely a lot shorter than this un, now where did I leave me grog.

Argh.

...here I am am stuck in the middle with you?

http://www.lyricsdownload.com/gerry-raf ... yrics.html

[black bart]

There was a young man from Nantucket
On his way back from Thailand and Phuket
He encountered a storm
On his way round the Horn
And his lunch ended up in a bucket