The coffee mountain

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The coffee mountain

Postby Al the Killer on Mon Nov 12, 2007 6:00 pm

Pastafarian heaven is regarded by all pastafarians as a paradise, but what most down know is that there are also darker parts of the heaven. Beyond the larger part of pastafarian heaven, with its beer volcano and stripper factory, beyond the boiling pots and spaghetti fields lies the dark and towering Coffee Mountain.

The Coffee Mountain is by no means a normal mountain. The mountain contain a power source that, when utilized correctly, can be extremely powerful: the coffee bean. Also, from this mountain runs the soda river, which I hear is quite refreshing

But coffee is not the only thing in the mountain. Lurking throughout the mountain's dark caverns are bears, who guard the mountain at FSM's command. So all heretics seeking coffee beware, for the bears are watching... :twisted:

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Re: The coffee mountain

Postby zanzix on Tue Jul 22, 2008 2:16 am

well obviously there would be a coffee mountain, how else will you deal with being hung over from the beer volcano? not to mention, in my opinion, heaven would probably have a large amount of caffine for all followers of his noodlyness to bask in

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Re: The coffee mountain

Postby Cardinal Fang on Tue Jul 22, 2008 1:58 pm

I personally have always taken the beer fountain as metaphorical and assume that it will dispense beverages to each person's taste. Being british, in my case that would be tea.

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Re: The coffee mountain

Postby Edd on Tue Jul 22, 2008 2:15 pm

What we need is our very own Dante to visit the afterlife and describe it in detail.
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Re: The coffee mountain

Postby nicci :) on Tue Jul 22, 2008 5:33 pm

Heaven without coffee? The idea is unthinkable! :fsm_rock:
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Re: The coffee mountain

Postby MrStoffy on Tue Jul 22, 2008 10:40 pm

Aye! Heaven must have coffee. Paradise to some people is having a great cup o' joe! Thus, It's probably there! :D
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Re: The coffee mountain

Postby Moral Minority on Wed Jul 23, 2008 12:56 pm

nicci \":)\" wrote:Heaven without coffee? The idea is unthinkable! :fsm_rock:


Preach it, nicci. Preach it. :o
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Re: The coffee mountain

Postby fueledbycoffee on Thu Jul 24, 2008 6:40 am

Moral Minority wrote:
nicci wrote:Heaven without coffee? The idea is unthinkable! :fsm_rock:


Preach it, nicci. Preach it. :o


With my luck, Starbucks will open up a franchise in Heaven, and starts charging people way too much for sub-par coffee, putting the coffee volcanoes out of business.
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Re: The coffee mountain

Postby Elastoman on Thu Jul 24, 2008 12:57 pm

But the volcanos are free, and the coffee (I can only assume, not having been dead recently) is excellent. Hard to break into that market, ya?

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Re: The coffee mountain

Postby fueledbycoffee on Thu Jul 24, 2008 1:46 pm

See, this is where advertising comes in. People are followers, and if they see on the tele, which I assume they would have in heaven, that Starbucks makes the greatest coffee you've ever had, and they say that the volcanoes basically serve diarrhea in a cup, then voila! Capitalism and bad coffee conquer heaven.

Look at the very rise of Starbucks! Their success is based entirely on convincing morons that Starbucks is the best in the world, and chic, and then adding two dollars onto the price, whereas in reality, I can go to the local coffee shop and get a mocha that actually has flavor, and I pay less. At least, I could before there was a Starbucks on every block and the small shops didn't have to raise their prices to compete.
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Re: The coffee mountain

Postby nicci :) on Thu Jul 24, 2008 2:14 pm

Am I allowed to rant and rage in this section?

OK, *controlling my impulses and constructing an accurate descriptive sentence*

Starbucks sells black water. Costa coffee is possibly worse.
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Re: The coffee mountain

Postby Moral Minority on Fri Jul 25, 2008 6:26 am

Preach it, nicci, preach it.
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Re: The coffee mountain

Postby Angel-Hair Archmage on Wed Oct 22, 2008 2:48 am

There must always be something to counteract the effects of inbriety so just mix coffe with vodka
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Re: The coffee mountain

Postby nicci :) on Mon Nov 10, 2008 6:55 pm

Angel-Hair Archmage wrote:There must always be something to counteract the effects of inbriety so just mix coffe with vodka


I think Red Bull beat you to that idea :wink:
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Re: The coffee mountain

Postby S'presso on Tue Nov 11, 2008 9:14 pm

Hair of the dog!
Drink until it goes away! There's no cirrhosis of liver in heaven. :)

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