St. Matthew's Church of Propaganda Vs. Me

Discuss ways to spread the Word and bring His Noodly Appendage to everybody.

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What should I send the propagandists? They're paying.

Poll ended at Thu Jul 10, 2008 11:48 pm

a broken printer (30 lbs.) and an explanation that the flying spaghetti monster really likes heavy things
0
No votes
more FSM pamphlets and noodles
2
20%
bricks
2
20%
something completely bizarre
1
10%
a letter from "Krugnar H. Barbarian" about how he had to melt down all his money to make a kobold stabbin' knife. Sorry he couldn't donate anything.
1
10%
a letter about getting a restraining order put on Jesus. He's always watching me, even when I go to the bathroom.
4
40%
 
Total votes: 10

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capn stabby
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St. Matthew's Church of Propaganda Vs. Me

Postby capn stabby » Thu Jun 26, 2008 11:48 pm

I got a letter recently from "Saint Matthew's Churches." The envelope contained many different things, among them a "Prophecy of God" that didn't predict anything at all, a "Blessed Prayer rug" that they wanted back, awful grammar, and many requests for a "Seed Gift," which is their way of saying that they want money. I sent them their pre-paid envelope back with an old FSM propaganda pamphlet and some dry noodles. I even signed it Krugnar H. Barbarian. I thought they would remove me from the mailing list, but today, I got another letter, this time with a little cross, a piece of paper they assure me is a Ribbon of Blessing, more begging for money, and a message that says that Jesus is walking past my window.

I don't know if I should do something mean, like forcing them to pay shipping on something worthless and heavy, or just keep being funny. This seemed like the best way to get an answer.

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ChowMein
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Re: St. Matthew's Church of Propaganda Vs. Me

Postby ChowMein » Fri Jun 27, 2008 12:14 am

HARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR har har , Oi perferrs humour meseffs , it be sooooo much moor fun fer human kind . ARRRRRRgh !

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Wawizzle
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Re: St. Matthew's Church of Propaganda Vs. Me

Postby Wawizzle » Fri Jun 27, 2008 12:42 am

a letter about getting a restraining order put on Jesus. He's always watching me, even when I go to the bathroom.

That is WAY to funny to pass up.
“We are often hesitant to look at other faiths or to examine our own critically because we feel that, in doing so, we are being disloyal to our own deeply felt convictions. ... And yet our beliefs are not worth very much if they cannot stand up to any scrutiny.” -- James Livingston.

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LibraLabRat
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Re: St. Matthew's Church of Propaganda Vs. Me

Postby LibraLabRat » Fri Jun 27, 2008 3:39 am

I chose Krugnar and Kobold Stabbin Knife.

They are not reading your messages anyway. They are just opening it, looking for a check or some cash, and sending another letter.
'There are no atheists in foxholes' isn't an argument against atheism, it's an argument against foxholes."
-James Morrow

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Moral Minority
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Re: St. Matthew's Church of Propaganda Vs. Me

Postby Moral Minority » Fri Jun 27, 2008 3:06 pm

Send them gay porn.

It's worth much more than money.

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Cardinal Fang
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Re: St. Matthew's Church of Propaganda Vs. Me

Postby Cardinal Fang » Sun Jun 29, 2008 3:20 pm

I think more FSM leaflets... then FSM leaflets wrapped round a brick... then FSM leaflets wrapped round a watermelon... and so on.

Don't forget to make it so that they have to sign for the packages.

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Josh M
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Re: St. Matthew's Church of Propaganda Vs. Me

Postby Josh M » Sun Jun 29, 2008 3:33 pm

Moral Minority wrote:Send them gay porn.

It's worth much more than money.


That would probably do it.
Our Pasta, who "Arghh" in heaven, Swallowed be thy shame. Thy Midgit come. Thy Sauce be yum, On top some grated Parmesan. Give us this day our garlic bread. And give us our cutlasses, As we swashbuckle, splice the main-brace and cuss. And lead us into temptation, But deliver us some Pizza. For thine are Meatballs, and the beer, and the strippers, for ever and ever. RAmen.
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