What if I don't like beer?

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c_felix
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What if I don't like beer?

Postby c_felix » Mon Dec 24, 2007 10:04 am

What happens if I make it to heaven? I don't like beer, never have, and probably never will. What will happen to me? :cry:

Will I eventually find a Dr. Pepper volcano?
Perhaps a Mt. Dew Volcano?
Maybe even A Steak and Shake Chocolate Milkshake Volcano?



Will I eventually find a volcano to my liking up there?


***EDIT...I'm going to move this to another board.
-Perhaps the Beatles were right; maybe all we need is love-

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powered by pasta
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Postby powered by pasta » Wed Dec 26, 2007 7:33 am

Don't worry, the holy pirates can offer you rum. :o
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Clifford
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Postby Clifford » Thu Dec 27, 2007 10:47 pm

I find cider much more attractive than grog (beer). As long as it's alchoholic I suppose it is acceptable.
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pirateanarchist
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i never had beer

Postby pirateanarchist » Sun Feb 24, 2008 5:38 pm

but I sure love me RUM! but much like the stripper factory what makes exactly your preference, perhaps the volcano will spew something to your liking. for me it may be rum-beer! and the stripper factory may turn out chubby geeks! YARR
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TheWikidFool
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Re: What if I don't like beer?

Postby TheWikidFool » Sat Jun 14, 2008 9:02 pm

c_felix wrote:What happens if I make it to heaven? I don't like beer, never have, and probably never will. What will happen to me? :cry:

Will I eventually find a Dr. Pepper volcano?
Perhaps a Mt. Dew Volcano?
Maybe even A Steak and Shake Chocolate Milkshake Volcano?



Will I eventually find a volcano to my liking up there?


***EDIT...I'm going to move this to another board.

Volcanos exist in all forms of drink except for Diet Pepsi... Ughh.
"The Noodly Lord commands you bow down to his Noodly Apendege.

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Rev. Rowan Redbeard
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Re: What if I don't like beer?

Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard » Sat Jun 14, 2008 9:11 pm

TheWikidFool wrote:Volcanos exist in all forms of drink except for Diet Pepsi... Ughh.


There's no need for Diet anything in FSM heaven!
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

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Clifford
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Re: What if I don't like beer?

Postby Clifford » Sun Jun 15, 2008 12:52 pm

I'll drink to that!
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moonfariey
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Re: What if I don't like beer?

Postby moonfariey » Mon Jun 16, 2008 9:16 am

I do not like beer either... however deep in my heart I know that my master has a special volcano just for me made of my malted beverage of chioce... Mike's Hard Cranberry

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Re: What if I don't like beer?

Postby GreenRain22 » Mon Jun 16, 2008 8:19 pm

TAking a note from the Christians and their little heaven: Heaven's got everything we want.

I've had beer (I'm underaged, shush) and it was NASTY. I'm hoping for a pina colada volcano... forget the strippers. Well.... maybe... :fsm_yarr: if their two hawt pirates.
Kaylee: Wash, tell me I'm pretty.
Wash: If I were unwed, I would take you up in a manly fashion.
Kaylee: 'Cause I'm pretty?
Wash: 'Cause your pretty.
(Wash and Kaylee, Firefly, Heart of Gold)

It's a broken hearts parade
And I'm putting my heart out on display
There's no masquerade
Just a funeral march for love today
The band strikes up and they're playing a song
Dressed in black, and we're singing along to the
Broken hearts parade
I've never been better then I am today


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Clifford
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Re: What if I don't like beer?

Postby Clifford » Tue Jun 17, 2008 6:27 am

GreenRain22 wrote:I've had beer (I'm underaged, shush)


Aren't we all?
Clifford

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alanpai
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Re: What if I don't like beer?

Postby alanpai » Sun Jun 22, 2008 11:27 pm

Clifford wrote:
GreenRain22 wrote:I've had beer (I'm underaged, shush)


Aren't we all?




yes, since when did that stop us.
rum is good :D
i hope the world doesnt randomly explode, that would be a really bad day.

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lari
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Re: What if I don't like beer?

Postby lari » Mon Jun 23, 2008 6:23 pm

I know my noodly master will understand that I prefer liqueur, and sweet beverages.
And I think I'd enjoy a lot the factory :wink:
Brazilian Pastafarian :D

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Re: What if I don't like beer?

Postby Wawizzle » Tue Jun 24, 2008 7:32 pm

I don't remember the gospel limiting what type of beverage-spewing volcanoes were located in heaven.

I can't wait for my blackberry lemonade volcano. *wets pants*
“We are often hesitant to look at other faiths or to examine our own critically because we feel that, in doing so, we are being disloyal to our own deeply felt convictions. ... And yet our beliefs are not worth very much if they cannot stand up to any scrutiny.” -- James Livingston.

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Re: What if I don't like beer?

Postby Elastoman » Wed Jul 02, 2008 9:24 pm

I...uh....huh? Not like beer? I'm afraid I don't follow. Have you tried them all yet? I mean, even sake (evil, evil, sake...how I love thee.) is technically a beer instead of a wine, but nevermind that - most people think sake is goddamned disgusting. If you sampled American Anti-Intelligence Weapons, well, yeah, they're not good beer. They're cheap, and get the job done, but they're not good. Hell, most of Budweiser isn't even the "choice Barley" they claim it is - Anheuser-Busch imports more rice each year than the entire nation of China for the sake of brewing their "original american lager." Ick.

Next time you (or someone who can/is willing to buy beer for you) are near a half-respectable liquor store, try some of the fancier stuff. No, that doesn't mean Fat Tire or Sam Adams (but they'll do if that's all you can find.), but something like a Belgian Trippel, or a Hefeweizen with a slice of orange floating in it, or even a Kriek Lambic if you're into fruit-flavored drinks.

And yeah, there's a Belgian Ale out there named Piraat. Yes, it's delicious. His Noodley Appendage was probably involved.

But you know, the other posters are probably right. Its Heaven. You want it, you got it. :wink:

~E.
There's no need to stand on ceremony, nor call to impress.
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Re: What if I don't like beer?

Postby Parrot » Wed Aug 13, 2008 5:28 am

:x

Problem

- The majority of Pastafarians are ex-atheists
- The stereotypical atheist is a nerd
- Pastafarianism is centred around Pirates, Grog and now strippers
- These are not very compatible with nerds

Smite me if I'm wrong but has there been a mistake in His plans?

Personally, I do not drink alcohol, disaprove of stripping and prostitution, get seasick easily and am generally not the pirate type

Am I doomed to never touch His Noodley Apendage?

Edit: Too late I discover the FAQ section. It answers a lot of the questions here, and has satisfied me.

I thank His Noodleyness

RAmen


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