What if I don't like beer?

[c_felix]

What happens if I make it to heaven? I don't like beer, never have, and probably never will. What will happen to me?

Will I eventually find a Dr. Pepper volcano?
Perhaps a Mt. Dew Volcano?
Maybe even A Steak and Shake Chocolate Milkshake Volcano?



Will I eventually find a volcano to my liking up there?


***EDIT...I'm going to move this to another board.

[powered by pasta]

Don't worry, the holy pirates can offer you rum.

[Clifford]

I find cider much more attractive than grog (beer). As long as it's alchoholic I suppose it is acceptable.

[pirateanarchist]

but I sure love me RUM! but much like the stripper factory what makes exactly your preference, perhaps the volcano will spew something to your liking. for me it may be rum-beer! and the stripper factory may turn out chubby geeks! YARR

[TheWikidFool]

What happens if I make it to heaven? I don't like beer, never have, and probably never will. What will happen to me?

Will I eventually find a Dr. Pepper volcano?
Perhaps a Mt. Dew Volcano?
Maybe even A Steak and Shake Chocolate Milkshake Volcano?



Will I eventually find a volcano to my liking up there?


***EDIT...I'm going to move this to another board.

Volcanos exist in all forms of drink except for Diet Pepsi... Ughh.

[Rev. Rowan Redbeard]

Volcanos exist in all forms of drink except for Diet Pepsi... Ughh.

There's no need for Diet anything in FSM heaven!

[Clifford]

I'll drink to that!

[moonfariey]

I do not like beer either... however deep in my heart I know that my master has a special volcano just for me made of my malted beverage of chioce... Mike's Hard Cranberry

[GreenRain22]

TAking a note from the Christians and their little heaven: Heaven's got everything we want.

I've had beer (I'm underaged, shush) and it was NASTY. I'm hoping for a pina colada volcano... forget the strippers. Well.... maybe... if their two hawt pirates.

[Clifford]

I've had beer (I'm underaged, shush)

Aren't we all?

[alanpai]

I've had beer (I'm underaged, shush)

Aren't we all?

yes, since when did that stop us.
rum is good

[lari]

I know my noodly master will understand that I prefer liqueur, and sweet beverages.
And I think I'd enjoy a lot the factory

[Wawizzle]

I don't remember the gospel limiting what type of beverage-spewing volcanoes were located in heaven.

I can't wait for my blackberry lemonade volcano. *wets pants*

[Elastoman]

I...uh....huh? Not like beer? I'm afraid I don't follow. Have you tried them all yet? I mean, even sake (evil, evil, sake...how I love thee.) is technically a beer instead of a wine, but nevermind that - most people think sake is goddamned disgusting. If you sampled American Anti-Intelligence Weapons, well, yeah, they're not good beer. They're cheap, and get the job done, but they're not good. Hell, most of Budweiser isn't even the "choice Barley" they claim it is - Anheuser-Busch imports more rice each year than the entire nation of China for the sake of brewing their "original american lager." Ick.

Next time you (or someone who can/is willing to buy beer for you) are near a half-respectable liquor store, try some of the fancier stuff. No, that doesn't mean Fat Tire or Sam Adams (but they'll do if that's all you can find.), but something like a Belgian Trippel, or a Hefeweizen with a slice of orange floating in it, or even a Kriek Lambic if you're into fruit-flavored drinks.

And yeah, there's a Belgian Ale out there named Piraat. Yes, it's delicious. His Noodley Appendage was probably involved.

But you know, the other posters are probably right. Its Heaven. You want it, you got it.

~E.

[Parrot]

Problem

- The majority of Pastafarians are ex-atheists
- The stereotypical atheist is a nerd
- Pastafarianism is centred around Pirates, Grog and now strippers
- These are not very compatible with nerds

Smite me if I'm wrong but has there been a mistake in His plans?

Personally, I do not drink alcohol, disaprove of stripping and prostitution, get seasick easily and am generally not the pirate type

Am I doomed to never touch His Noodley Apendage?

Edit: Too late I discover the FAQ section. It answers a lot of the questions here, and has satisfied me.

I thank His Noodleyness

RAmen