Misfortune Cookie

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Re: Misfortune Cookie

Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard on Sun Jun 01, 2008 11:32 pm

You will be overcharged and short-changed.
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

By reading this post, you agree that you are solely responsible for your reaction to it.
The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant.
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Re: Misfortune Cookie

Postby Detective TurtleHolmes on Mon Jun 02, 2008 2:31 am

Your best friend, the one sitting on your right with the small cut below his left eye and the timid voice is about to stab you in the throat with a chopstick he sharpened. If you move your head four inches forward, he will take out the woman on your other side, who is preparing to shoot you with a small hand held crossbow. She will shoot the bolt into you if you don't move your right arm up at an angle of forty-five degrees. You have fifteen seconds.
A flap of the wings yesterday means big changes tomorrow.
Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.

So yeah, I went and got a blog.
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Re: Misfortune Cookie

Postby Mad Willyum Bonney on Mon Jun 02, 2008 3:18 am

may your internet forums constantly change on you .
Remembering St. John
Remembering Auntie DeeDee
Remembering times of innocence
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Re: Misfortune Cookie

Postby ken worley on Mon Jun 02, 2008 8:45 am

"Help...I am chained in kitchen. My hands were bound as infant so they would be small enough to slip fortunes into these damn cookies....Call the porice."
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Re: Misfortune Cookie

Postby Zankou 2.0 on Mon Jun 02, 2008 8:47 am

Your mom.
--Zankou II

The thin line between genius and insanity is less of a border than a union.

"Science can purify religion from error and superstition; religion can purify science from idolatry and false absolutes. Each can draw the other into a wider world, a world in which both can flourish."
--Pope John Paul II


Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-Albert Einstein
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Re: Misfortune Cookie

Postby Moral Minority on Mon Jun 02, 2008 11:59 am

Fi ouy mac bear hsit uyo rea lydsexic.
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Re: Misfortune Cookie

Postby Hqrsie on Mon Jun 02, 2008 11:50 pm

I'm standing right behind you
If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere committing evil deeds, an it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?
--Alexander Solzhenitsyn
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Re: Misfortune Cookie

Postby Detective TurtleHolmes on Tue Jun 03, 2008 3:14 am

OMG! THIZ IS LIEK A FORTOON OOKIE!
A flap of the wings yesterday means big changes tomorrow.
Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.

So yeah, I went and got a blog.
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Re: Misfortune Cookie

Postby Zankou 2.0 on Tue Jun 03, 2008 9:19 am

YouFAIL.org

I hate you.

You suck.

You are akin to ken worley.

There is no God.

You should kill yourself.


etc.


There's a theme I have going. Simple, one shot sentences that are enough to make anyone cry.

Can you imagine opening a cookie to find one of these? How depressing would that be?
--Zankou II

The thin line between genius and insanity is less of a border than a union.

"Science can purify religion from error and superstition; religion can purify science from idolatry and false absolutes. Each can draw the other into a wider world, a world in which both can flourish."
--Pope John Paul II


Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-Albert Einstein
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Re: Misfortune Cookie

Postby ken worley on Tue Jun 03, 2008 9:25 am

You mean, like,

Your real biological parents were canadian.
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Re: Misfortune Cookie

Postby Zankou 2.0 on Tue Jun 03, 2008 9:27 am

ken worley wrote:You mean, like,

Your real biological parents were canadian.


You do realise that Canadians are generally better liked than Americans? There is no Jihad on Canada.
--Zankou II

The thin line between genius and insanity is less of a border than a union.

"Science can purify religion from error and superstition; religion can purify science from idolatry and false absolutes. Each can draw the other into a wider world, a world in which both can flourish."
--Pope John Paul II


Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-Albert Einstein
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Zankou 2.0
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Re: Misfortune Cookie

Postby Detective TurtleHolmes on Wed Jun 04, 2008 5:31 am

Zankou 2.0 wrote:
ken worley wrote:You mean, like,

Your real biological parents were canadian.


You do realise that Canadians are generally better liked than Americans? There is no Jihad on Canada.

They're also (apparently) one of the friendliest nations in they world.

This apple is poisoned. For ten cents, you can have the antidote. For five hundred dollars, you can have the anti venom for the snake venom in your curry.
A flap of the wings yesterday means big changes tomorrow.
Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.

So yeah, I went and got a blog.
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Re: Misfortune Cookie

Postby Zankou 2.0 on Wed Jun 04, 2008 9:26 am

The antidote is poisoned, also. Basically, you're fucked.

That wasn't chicken

Your soul is a cavern of lies
--Zankou II

The thin line between genius and insanity is less of a border than a union.

"Science can purify religion from error and superstition; religion can purify science from idolatry and false absolutes. Each can draw the other into a wider world, a world in which both can flourish."
--Pope John Paul II


Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-Albert Einstein
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Zankou 2.0
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Re: Misfortune Cookie

Postby St John the Blasphemist on Thu Jun 05, 2008 3:41 am

Just when you make plans for the long weekend ahead, your bills will come all at once
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Intelligence: What stupid people think they have lots of.
Stupidity: What intelligent people wish they had less of.

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Re: Misfortune Cookie

Postby Detective TurtleHolmes on Thu Jun 05, 2008 5:02 am

If you look up, you will see the large amount of excrement I am collecting. Soon, I will rule the world with my massive pile of poo! Muahahahahahaha!
A flap of the wings yesterday means big changes tomorrow.
Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.

So yeah, I went and got a blog.
User avatar
Detective TurtleHolmes
Clouseau's Protege
 
Posts: 9266
Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 6:34 am
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