Corrupt a wish.

[Draconic]

Granted, however your newly mended wings will not stop flapping, and you fly into a Boeing 747

I wish I wasn't so bad at granted good wishes.

[Moral Minority]

Granted. Now you are such a sucky granter that one day, Rainswept comes to your house and rapes you, and then Taidje Khan proceeds to shove a pencil in your ear. Finally, I come along and sodomise you with my Spas Franchi and your teeth get knocked out from the pain.

I wish Britney Spears would eat her own crap.

[Draconic]

Granted. She then moves into the house next to you, and her crap now smells twice as worse, correct?

I wish we had some more debates here in the forums. Perhaps some cloning debates?

[farfalla]

your wish is granted and the cloning debates have produced clones of their own which multiply until the internet crashes

I wish the tax people would busy themselves anywhere else but here

[lordpunkmonk]

Ok now they are busying them selves in their office making it so that all the worlds taxes are now being paid by you

I wish I had a cup of water thrown in my face

[Zankou 2.0]

Ok now they are busying them selves in their office making it so that all the worlds taxes are now being paid by you

I wish I had a cup of water thrown in my face

Granted. It was at a temperature of 106 degrees Celsius, and in the process of boiling.

Your face sublimates.


I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner.

[lordpunkmonk]

you are an oscar myer weiner and contradictory to the song nobody loves you

I wish for a quick and painless death

[Zankou 2.0]

Granted. Nevertheless, you are still dead, and there is no afterlife.


I wish I had a pirate ship.

[lordpunkmonk]

I have materialized the pirate ship just above your head causeing you to be crushed and it turnes out the jews were right and you go to hell and not only will you be tortured but on your free time you will be forced to talk to christians who still think they are right

I wish to be almighty

[Zankou 2.0]

Granted. You have unlimited power.

Unfortunately, your puny mortal body cannot contain said energy, and you phase out of existence.

I wish you would go away.

[lordpunkmonk]

Unfortunately, your puny mortal body cannot contain said energy, and you phase out of existence.

I wish you would go away.

well you should have thought about that before you made me phase out of existance

I wish that when you say "this statement is a lie" the paradox of it creates a vortex killing all people except for me and my books

if anyone can say what thats referancing they get a cookie

[Draconic]

Granted. However, people learn of this and no one says it. they figure out it was you and they burn you at the stake.

I wish a had a lifetime supply of the most delicious chocolate chip cookies (IN MY OPINION, they can't taste like crap) in front of me in a sanitary dump truck driven by a slow moving old person driver to insure safety. They are within reach as well and never go bad or stale.

[ken worley]

Granted.

You get diabetes from all the sugar, and your foot gets infected, and while waiting for the slow-moving old driver to make it to a clinic, your foot rots off, followed by your calf, thigh, and crotch.

Prostitutes mock you incessantly for being a neuter by winking and calling you "cookie".

I wish the four sexy girls I saw at the gym today would pack-rape me.

[Draconic]

Granted. Turns out, they all had an STD. Either way it was a hell of a time.

I wish for pie.

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Granted, although the meat inside the pie is made of human, and the gravy is made of urine.

I wish for zombie apocalypse.