Venganzine Pyrate Cookbook

[anthrobabe]

stewe
no fish heads

take a large pot
put in whatever you want
*like chicken(skinned, and no feathers), whole cut up chicken good
*some onion-to taste
*some celery-to taste
*some salt and black pepper to taste(do this last, too salty is yuck)
*about 3 quarts of water-enough to just cover everything
*some cilantro-- a good half bunch, washed, just plop it in there-you'll fish it out later
*a few pieces of bacon-or even fatback
*a couple of handfuls of rice(wait to add this-- read the directions)
*3 or 4 large carrots, cut up in chunks

bring to a boil, boil until chicken is cooked, remove chicken and let cool until you can handle it, cut meat off bones and return chicken to pot, fish out bacon and chop up in pieces, put all eat back into broth in pot, NOW ADD THE RICE AND SALT! and cook until rice is cooked. fish our cilantro and throw overboard. Ladle hot stewe into bowles and serve with crusty bread and whatever you want to drink.

[CATPIN_PUFF]

BILGE RAT JERKY

1 BILGE RAT

-KILL

-EATE TEH INTESTINS & GUTS & STUFF

-DIP IN SEA - FOR SEASONIT

-CLAW IN STRIPS AND HANG FROM MIZZENMAST


WEN DRY YOU EATIT

[ChowMein]

ARGH !... Tanks be to Capin Puff ... nows ye all nose wot ta due wiff ye rats thoit be pilin' up frum thee Plague ...

PS . I loike thee looks of ye battel face ... moighty impressive .

[CATPIN_PUFF]

I IS A FEERCE AN PUFFY PIRATE CATPIN!


FISHWISKY

0.75 BARREL SWEET-TASTE RAW FISH - NO GUTZ - HEAD & TAIL OK

0.25 BARREL SEA GRAPE

WATER FILL BARREL

PISSINIT*



COVER BARREL LOOSE & LEEVE IN HOT SUN 8.3 FORTNIGHT. DRAIN LIQID & DISTIL - EAT FISH




*BEST IS INHEET QUEEN CAT PISSINIT

[The Black Spot]

FLAKY SCRAPINGS

Ingreedyents:

1 pie crust
1 skinned bilge rat
2 ship's biscuits (weevily)

1. Put rat, pie crust an' biscuits inna pigs bladder.
2. Hit bladder wi' cannonball until everything be mixed together thoroughly.
3. Boil cannonball fer 10 minutes
4. Try to eat cannonball, lose temper and throw pig's bladder into the sea.
5. Cook something else.

[Mad Willyum Bonney]

Chips With Pootin


Yarr ! Take wot be leff 'ove poor 'ole Jimmy an' slice inna chips.

Let dry inna sun.

Smudder chips wiff wot poo be in thee tin chamber pot.


Tommy be gettin bedder , soze dis cud be yer lass meal until Bobby goes .

[black bart]

Fish Head Stew Surprise

Prepare Pie and Crust with best weevil free pastry

Pour Fish Head Stew in and Batten down crust

Sell off at twice the price labeled as 'Chicken and Mushroom'

Remember to leave false name and address

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Rum Surprise

INGREDIENTS:
The surprise te this dish is that it contains only wun ingredient!
1. Rum

PREPARATION:
Obtain wun glass. Pour rum inna glass. Drink.

Repeat preparation stage un'il propurly pished. Then drink summore.
By the end ov the noight, make shure that most ov yer piss is down yer front. Then git inna a foight wif the innkeeper an' get kicked out. Spew all ov yer piss on the pathway, then crawl te anovver pub an' get pished summore.

[pieces o'nine]

Dear Cap'n T:

This be wunuva best resipees oi has ever heard ov! Oi finks ye shood 'ave yer own cable tv cooking show; oi wood wotch hit faythefull, even videeotape hit to not miss hany episodes wot be brodcast when oi be out raidin.

Oi does have one queschun fer yer hexpertise. Wot ingreedyents can successfully be substitooted, iffin ye be out ov rum, loike.

Thankin ye in hadvance-
Cap'n Graham Kerr

[black bart]

Aaaargh, better keep that recipe away from Keith Floyd or Delia Smith matey!

[Mad Willyum Bonney]

Stew

Juss make shore ee be cooked !

[Auntie Blackbeard]

Oi be serchin' fer a resepee fer Treekl Tartz (not th' kind what hang out in th' lesser establishmints wher the Grog be mosly warter, the baked loike a pie kind).

Seems sumwun left the cellur doorz opin an' me 50 weight of sugar be moist. Oi'm gonna have ter make treelk out of it, and moight also moek treekl out of th' blaggard whot left th' cellur opin.

P'raps one of yer fancy ship's cooks can help me?

[black bart]

Arrrgh if ye finds the recipe Auntie, ye can wear this T Shirt:

[The Black Spot]

I has an answer fer yer problem, Auntie.

Tether a goat, a pig an a sheep in the woods, an then cut down a big tree so it falls down an squashes the animals flat. The dead'uns now be officially known as tree-kill.

[black bart]

Tree-kill...

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgh!