Have you ever pierced your own nipple out of boredom?
Have you ever iced down your nipple for an hour with a ziplock bag of frozen pea soup for the purpose of numbing it enough that you can pierce it?
Have you ever done both of the above, but with such an astounding lack of knowledge about body piercing that you used a sterilized safety pin instead of a hollow needle, then put a regular hoop earing through the hole, which then proceeded to get infected so that you had to take it out, leaving you with a pinpoint black soot tattoo from the flame-sterilized safety pin?
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate
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