Arrr-Bay (Non Portsmouth Branch)

[black bart]

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.00001%
Member: Since 1765

You are bidding for:

Two scurvy crew members, excellent in the rigging.

Forced to sell due to lack of funds for keepin em in shoes and handbags.



500 Cronan each, will only sell as a pair as they works together, nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

[ChowMein]

Yarr bartie I'd loike 3 pairs please !...send dem over quick!..take me IOU !...I'll pony up after i have a go a..after I give dem all a thorough inspection ! I may have to inspect dem a few tymes though ....can't have dem bringing in germs on me shup ye noze .

[DaveL]

Seller: Oz_Nick Industries

Feedback: I thought he just made illegal moonshine.

Member: Since Bustling Brian ripped him off

You are bidding for: Rubber Bungs for yer sinking ship: "The Bugger Off Davey Jones Locker" (BODJL) Plug.

Seller Notes:

Ever had trouble plugging a leak on yer ship? Have you accidently commandered by Captain Cronan, only to find yerself sinking quicker than ye can blink. Well the Oz_Nick Rubber Bung Plug will fix the leak on your ship, quicker than yer can say...'Get me a frekain plug quick, we are sinking!'

Watch that leak disappear in a jiffy. Watch your crews spirits lift in an instant. See that water in yer hull being sealed quicker than ye can say "I wished Kate Winslet had drowned in Titanic as well."

Your BODJL Plug come complete with an all money back guarantee. Cause if it don't work, yewl be dead any way!

Buy with confidence!!

Bids: One box of BODJL Plugs @ 10 Groats

[ChowMein]

YARRR! fishstewpot ,

I want me IOU back ( not that it's wurf anyfing), I can't catch any ove thee wenches ...having three peg leggs an' all.

[black bart]

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.00001%
Member: Since 1765

Special Christmas Offer

You are bidding for:

Genuine Transylvanian Fox Hound puppies only 400 Cronan each. Lovely dogs for the home. Bid with confidence. So cute you just can't wait to cuddle em:

[black bart]

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.00001%
Member: Since 1765

You are bidding for:

The Galley Slave 500 Rowing machine:



With 4 adjustable settings to get you ship shape:

1-Easy: Rowing to the shore
2-Medium: Rowing ashore with a big Treasure chest
3-Hard: Rowing ashore for your life
4-Very Hard: Survive being cast adrift on an open boat

Bid with confidence...your life may depend on it!

[The Black Spot]

Seller: Openboat
Feedback: -68.9%
Member since: 1690



Not enough posts? Are you still classed as a Ziti Zealot or a Cabin Boy? What you need is the

"OLYMPIC" ROWAN MACHINE

Simply hook this device up to your computer, press the "flood" button, and Within seconds the message board of your choice will be buried under an avalanche of postings. Soon you will be laughing at all the lesser mortals with only a paltry few thousand posts.

Too tired to post? No problem! Simply press the "clog" button before you go to bed, and the machine will put a reply on every single thread! Now no-one has to miss the fun!


System Requirements:
Requires 8Mb upload line and a no-limit ISP.

Compatibility:
Replaces the Qwerty and DD models. 10X faster than the equivalent Bart model, and compares favourably with the Swato deluxe.


Testimonials:

** "You bastard - what have you done!" Ken W. **

** "You should be slowly skinned and boiled in oil" K.W. **

** "Posting for pirates!" O.R.M. **


******** BUY WITH CONFIDENCE!!!!!! *******

[Mad Willyum Bonney]

Seller : Madame Fifi

Member since : 1389 CE

Feedback : 100%



AUTHENTIC ! Autographed Pirate Codpieces Arr yours if ye bid correctly ! Unwashed pieces of all the pirates to be sold as One (1) lot !

WE HAVE THEM ALL ! START YOUR COLLECTION TODAY !

[black bart]

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.00001%
Member: Since 1765

Beat the rush to the Admiral Benbow Happy Hour with this "Bustlin Brian Rotary Perambulator". Made from from re-cycled shower rails and edged with durable re-formed plunger rubber, it's sure to get you there ahead of the rabble.



Top Speed: 45 mph downhill, no brakes yet but Brian's working on it.

Only 50 Cronan's, hurry before Brian runs out of pipe work.

[DaveL]

Item: BB Chompers
Seller: Bustlin' Brian Industries
Feedback: The best arrr-bay vendor on day release
Member: Since being on day release (2 weeks this Thursday)

Notes:

Has your life been reduced to eating soft fruit?
Sick of eating raspberry jelly 7 nights a week?

Well our pillar of society, Bustlin' Brian may have just the thing for you!

Life in solitude can bring out the best in some people. And with lots of time on his hands, it's nice to see that someone is always thinking of the little guy.

These quality dentures are no exception. Forged from the finest porcelain, these quality dentures will have you eating ginger nut cookies faster than you can say 'Me tooth is broken'.

Your consulation with one of our dental specialists (ie Bruiser McGee, prison inmate) will entail a careful fitting of your new chompers, free of charge (for the first minute anyway).

Watch Bustlin' Brian quality plaster, erm sorry, concrete, I mean porcelain, change the way you chow down.

Just look what our satisfied customers had to say:

'Buy a set now or else' Mr B.McGee HM Gaol, Portsmouth

'If I ever catch that blighter, he'll be wearing his bollocks for false teeth' Mr B. Spot, Portsmouth

'Who stole me fangs? Hackles the Harbour Rescue Dog

BUY WITH CONFIDENCE!!

[black bart]

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.00001%
Member: Since 1765

The Bart Industries Patent Grog Boots

Arrrr...just the thing for those rough voyages (or an average evenin at The Admiral Benbow) when all yer glass tankards get smashed:



Holds enough grog ta satisfy the thirstiest of Pirates and makes a fetchin bit o footware to boot.

20 Cronan a pair

Free bottle o Captain's Delight with each purchase

[Mad Willyum Bonney]

Seller : Me

Feedback : 5%

Member : 2 minutes 34 secs




For auction : Rubber boots , rubber rain coat and rubber hat . Previously used by Capt. Turtlehead . To be sold as one (1) lot . Each item like new...used only one time each...slightly stretched .

[black bart]

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.1%
Member: Since 1765

You are bidding for:

Pair of slave maidens...seen here holding up a pillar but equally handy for holding up your main mast.
No reserve.



Postage: 12 pieces of 8

Also see my other items:

Pair of genuine Pigmy Book ends. Pair of Elephant Garage door props. Pair of real Porpoise water skies...can also be used as garden pond fountains...duel porpoise!

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

Nice roses!!

[black bart]

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.1%
Member: Since 1765

SNUFF OF LEGENDS

Brings you:

A fine Silver Snuff Box, inlaid with gold and studded with diamonds...no questions arsked:



Hurry up and bid before the last owner catches up wiv us!