Swedes the Chosen People

[swedish meatball]

Since vikings are universally credited as the creators of the meatball, should no they be the chosen people of pastafarianism? Additionally, they can be considered the first true pirates, although the charm and wit of swashbuckling was developed much later. It could also then be interesting to make further inquires into what phenomenon explains the decreasing number of vikings.

[Dan(da haole guy)]

Aloha..only reason i can come up with for decreasing #s of Vikings is a new NFL smaller roster rule..

[tek2]

Maybe the number of vikings decreased because they had a lot of Gods. We have our Great Balled Noodle , which is only one.

[xvortexbladex]

dont forget the Asians, they are the original midgits.

[Clifford]

Since vikings are universally credited as the creators of the meatball, should no they be the chosen people of pastafarianism? Additionally, they can be considered the first true pirates, although the charm and wit of swashbuckling was developed much later. It could also then be interesting to make further inquires into what phenomenon explains the decreasing number of vikings.

How are they credited as creators of the meatball? I know that they were Pirates (learning history ... Vikings also invaded Normandy to settle there and become the Normans ... so in a sense England was invaded by Vikings twice) but Pirate existence appears to have come into being before Viking times in accordance with the Gospel. Furthermore, the traditional way of Pirate speech originates from Wiltshire after such an actor from Wiltshire stared in the first Pirate films ( I forget his name ...).

But in general it is Pirates who are His chosen people - not Vikings alone. I just so happens that Vikings were Pirates which make them part of His chosen people.

[Moral Minority]

dont forget the Asians, they are the original midgits.

Har har.

[epictetus]

From your early school years when you eagerly read the original Latin histories, you will recall that one of the early deeds of the young pasta eating Pompey was to rid the Mediterranean of pirates.

This supports the Italian claim on being the chosen people, but scholars are still divided. After all, if Pompey were an early pastafarian, then why would he martyr pirates?

In the name of the noodles, the balls, and the holy sauce,

RAmen.

Reverend Doctor Epictetus, Th.D.

[Pirate Terramort]

Pompey had all the qualities of a believer in the FSM, even displaying qualities of the FSM himself. For example, he had clear geniousness, but occasional bad judgment. (Probably after he drank a little too much rum)

However, later in his life, (probably around 68 B.C.) Pompey gave up Pastafariansim. In 67 B.C., he received his orders to hunt down the Pirates in the Mediterranean. This command was clearly polemic in its nature. (Meaning: the practice the disputing of religious or philosophical matters)

However, there are still evidences that he holds true to his Pastafarian upbringing. "Pompey made his preparations for the war at the end of the winter, entered upon it at the commencement of spring, and finished it in the middle of the summer." This shows that he began war at the end of the Holiday, following (at least partly) the belief of the FSM.

It is my firmest belief that Pompey started out as a believer in the FSM, but, for unknown reasons, became an atheist. Perhaps, if his beliefs had not been altered, the world would be accepting of the Flying Spaghetti Monster today.

All hail the FSM!

[epictetus]

To Terramont,

Your learned position on the always controversial status of Pompey's pastafarianism is welcome.

Indeed, we can all wonder what the world would be today if only Pompey had not been killed at Alexandria, and the library burnt.

Certainly, the original books that were later mistranslated as the King James Bible would be useful in that they would have laid out the Flying Spaghetti Monster's (blessed be his holy sauce) role in the creation of the universe.

Rev. Dr. Epictetus

[Pirate Terramort]

Many believe, as I do, that the Library of Alexandria held many texts concerning the Flying Spaghetti Monster. There have been many proposed theories concerning the destruction of the Library, but most involve destruction by zealous religions-either by Christian or Muslim. The Library may have been destroyed out of jealously, hatred, or both.

[pieces o'nine]

Don't forget the 'unreleased' scroll translations from Nag Hamadi...

[Clifford]

I think the Dead Sea Scrolls told us about the FSM, but they were destroyed because no one liked the truth.

[Mongo of the North]

I think the Dead Sea Scrolls told us about the FSM, but they were destroyed because no one liked the truth.

I thought the dead see scrolls were written on parchment made from reprocessed noodles and were written in sauce. My understanding is that the dead sea fishermen who found them actually ate them because...well the sea was dead and fish sales were down significantly.

[Angel Hair Pasta of Death]

They have to be the chosen people, because my school's mascot is the Viking.

[epictetus]

Angel Hair Pasta of Death, you are sadly the result of an educational system that does not emphasize intelligent design.

When the FSM (praise his meaty balls) created you with the assistance of your mommy's pee pee and his noodley appendage, he intended you for far greater things.

Yet, as is sadly the case with so many impressionable youngsters today, you were led astray from true Pastafarianism.


javascript:emoticon(':cry:')
Crying


Since I am truly devoted to always maintaining the highest of lax standards, I'll pray for you to give up the Swedish Meat Ball heresy, and return to the loving tentacles of your creator.

I suggest that you follow ancient teachings and observe our holy day, Monday, by not going to school. Doesn't the Second Book of Recipes, chapter 64, verse 16 clearly lay out the sanctity of our Monday, when truly we must recover from our busy weekends?

This is the path to your salvation, little brother.

Now, recite twenty RAmens, and the Pirate Cannon in its entirety.

In the name of the noodles, the balls, and the holy sauce,

RAmen

Reverend Doctor Epictetus, Th.D.