Venganzine Pyrate Cookbook

[ChowMein]

YARRR!!! It be high toime we werked on a pyrate recipe book.....

....Fer starters... a simple Arrderve.....

Battered Baby Kraken : Take two pounds of baby krakens ...dip in sour cream en egg mixture...shake off excess liquid...squeeze out excess ink ( set ink aside for later use in yer quills)...coat krakens in a seasoned flour mix ( I loike pepper , salt , garlic an onion powders)...Dip the poor bastids into oil @450F fer abowt a minute or so (depends on the size of the kraken)...Remove from heat ...pat off excessive grease an let the liddle rubber boots cool a bit afore ye set ta chew yer jaws off ta the breaking point.

[black bart]

ROASTED SPANIARD SURPRISE

Ideal for a Special hocashun

First, creep up on a Spanish galleon under cover of dark.

Second, set alight to the ship and retire to a safe distance.

Leave to saute for about an hour, dependin on the size o the ship.

Serve with lashins of grog.

Chefs tip: If ye can't get a Spanish galleon, substitute with a French one but be careful if ye has a garlic alergy.

[The Black Spot]

RAT PANCAKE

1. Catch a rat from yer bilge.

2. Smash rat flat wi' a shovel.

3. Keep hittin' rat until it be a thin oval shape.

4. Fry in whale blubber fer ten minutes, an season fer taste.

5. Give it to one o' the prisoners after everyone else has refused it.

[ChowMein]

Roast Amputated Frogs legs

Get yer fresh legs from a reputable surgeon.(Avoid bein kilt yerselfs).
Burn off all the hair.
Soak in grog overnight.
Preheat oven to 350F .
Rub in salt , pepper , and minced garlic .
Cook 25 min per lb . Add veggies at the last 45 min.

[DaveL]

Maggot Squishy

1 x cup of Premium Maggots
1 x cup of crushed ice
1 x hammer

Pour the maggots into a large bowl
Beat maggots to a nice liquidy consistency
Tip contents over crushed ice

Serve in a icecream sundae glass with glace cherry and whipped cream.

Yum yum!!

[ChowMein]

Oatmeal Weevil Cookies

Open up thee oatmeal barrel and scoop up four cups of thee oats and weevil mix .

Open up thee sugar barrel and scoop up one cup of thee sugar and weevils.

Knead in a half pound of rancid , maggoty whale blubber.

Form tight balls to keep the weevils from escaping.

Press yer trident down upon ye balls to flatten them ( be gentle so you don't ruin thee maggots which will give yer cookies a chewy and crunchy texture )

Put in yer oven for ten minutes and enjoy with spoiled milk in yer cheap coffee or tea .

[ChowMein]

Saltwater Soup

Lower ye cauldron into thee drink.

Place ye cauldron unto ye bonfire untils she blows .

No extree salt required , certain ta bring death ta ye mutinous crew... ARR!

[ChowMein]

Home Brewed Doo Tea ,


Take wun standarrd bucket of bilge water ,( if ye have no shups nearby substestute alley water out back thee Admiral Benbow .)

Add 2oz of yer favarrwrit doo , add boiling watarr to ye bucket and let stan' 5 min before ye throw it at...serve it to ye enymies...anymees...ye bad guys!

[Rev. Rowan Redbeard]

A Proper Cup of Tea:

Fill the kettle with fresh freshwater (not fresh saltwater, and make sure the water hasn't been anywhere near one of our pirates...no telling what they might have done in, er..., to it.)

Put the kettle on to boil.

Once the water is boiling, pour a bit of it into your mug (return the kettle to the heat) and swish it around to warm it up (swish the mug, don't put on a pink dress and swish about the ship).

Pour the water out of the cup, place your teabag (the bag of tea, not the other teabag) in the cup, and pour the water (boiling, not boiled) into the cup.

Let steep for a minute or two, remove the teabag, and enjoy.


Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......rrrggg

[ChowMein]

Lanlubber Tartare ,

Fine ye a suitable 'ostage .

Gib 'em a bowl ove Saltwater Soup .

Allow thee carcuss ta stop twitchin' afore ye serve , ye dont wanna cut yerselfs .

[ChowMein]

Belgian Chocolat Loaf


Fine a well fed Belgian 'ostage ...***All of ye shud no wots cumin but ohm doanit enny howse .***

... Threaten 'ostage to pinch ye a loaf .

Allow to cool before serving .

[ChowMein]

Iced Koala Tea


Fill ye standarrd bilge bukkit haff way an' place ye Koala Bear innit .

Threaten ta reed thee Continuous Salty Tale toim .

Allow Koala ta escape frum thee bukkit .

Fill bukkit wid krush ice berg befoar ye sirve .

[ChowMein]

Swiss Chocolat Roll


.......uhhhh....... kint unleesh anudder uponest ye folkes..... knot yet.

[~NoodleDemon~]

"Besiegin' Bounty"

Ingredients: 1 fatass crewmember, 1 spiked club (or a nice big 'ook), 1 fire, multiple forks (preferrably large 'uns), and perhaps a few rats.

Throw fatass crewmeber into fire. When he screams and tries desperately to escape, club the blighter insensible with yonder spiked club. Use any and all seasonin's available, and add bilge rats or the cabin boy fer garnishin's...

ENJOY!

[ChowMein]

Bludd Brule'

*** Ye shud allwaze bee uh guud matey ta da sirgeon , dis simpull dish iz allwaze sivred affer a battel .***
Wen all da battelling be oar , thee farrs bee poit owt , juss grab 'is bukkit an' leef it inna sunny spot .

We 'ave Doc Sawbones ta tank fer dat wun , tanks Doc !