What Will Capellini Bring Back From Ethiopia?

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What Will Capellini Bring Back From Ethiopia?

Postby ken worley on Fri Nov 23, 2007 1:08 pm

Well, folks, it's nearly the 24th....

You know what that means... The photogenic, if somewhat overenthusiastic-about-monkeykind Capellini returns from her dusty isolation in the wilds of darkest Africa.

The question on everyone's mind....Will there be presents?

What will be in her slightly monkey-soiled matching Lilac-colored Vuitton bags?


Speculate here: (I'll start.)


An adopted Ethiopian child.

A set of mother-of-pearl-inlaid nose-bones.

A stolen calf-bone from "Lucy".

A pint jar of concentrated Ebola virus marked, "To MPT, Merry XMas"

A mysterious but deep and abiding hatred of Belgians.

Personalized homo-habilus-skull-ashtrays for all members of 1750 post or more.

A bitter, hacking cough, and a taste for cheap liquor, and even cheaper men.(I will send bus fare)

12 monkey "disciples" and a raging case of megalomania.

Outlandish tales about "Finding Atlantis".

A "Nell"-like inability to communicate in anything other than grunts and crude gesticulations.(Due to the lack of this forum's intelligent discourse.)


I will speculate more tomorrow.

Feel free to post your guesses in the meantime.
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Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard on Fri Nov 23, 2007 1:19 pm

A big ol' can of WHUP-ASS to beat this forum back into shape.
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Postby ken worley on Fri Nov 23, 2007 1:23 pm

African-canned Whup-Ass is illegal in the US, and you know it.
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Postby EarthRise on Fri Nov 23, 2007 1:32 pm

I'm going with the monkey disciples and an acute case of megalomania.
[...] the difficulty of believing that a perfect and complex eye could be formed by natural selection, though insuperable by our imagination, should not be considered as subversive of the theory.
-Darwin
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marriage

Postby black bart on Fri Nov 23, 2007 5:31 pm

A certificate proving her marriage, in a secret ceremony in Addis Ababa, to I Love Boobs!

(and of course: A mysterious but deep and abiding hatred of Belgians.)
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Postby ken worley on Fri Nov 23, 2007 9:55 pm

I believe the question at hand is, "What will Capellini bring back from Africa"?

...more guesses.

A lion-gnawed arm-stump.

A tattoo in a sensitive area which reads, "Property of W.H. Kimbel".

Monkey-Pox

Abortion-debate-addiction-withdrawl symptoms.

Proof that ancient aliens genetically altered orangs, creating humans.

A stack of photos of sponsored Ethiopian children.

Sand in her crack.

Slaves to harvest oregano from her windowbox herb-garden.

Swampfoot.

Swampneck.

Swamp-mmphhh!!!*is wrestled to the ground by forum "good taste" monitors*

A nice asp.

An 80-foot marble obelisk, carved in her honor by awestruck natives.

An 80-foot marble awestruck native, carved by her in spate of boredom.

A packet of spider-monkey-jerkey for each of us.

An 80-foot marble statue of her asp, carved by awestruck spider-monkeys.
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Postby EarthRise on Fri Nov 23, 2007 11:07 pm

A new version of mutated SIV that she got from a monkey disciple

Skimpy archeology clothes that she picked up to make the pigs on the board stfu

Small vials of ebola-containing bat guano, for slipping into people's drinks
[...] the difficulty of believing that a perfect and complex eye could be formed by natural selection, though insuperable by our imagination, should not be considered as subversive of the theory.
-Darwin
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Postby Rainswept on Sat Nov 24, 2007 12:51 am

Enough food to feed that country for a year. (It'll fit in her carry-on bag).
I believe it's time for mankind to set aside the crutch of religion and embrace morality born of reason and truth. Those crutches have long since proven treacherous when the ground gets slippery.
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Arc

Postby black bart on Sat Nov 24, 2007 6:26 am

The Arc of the Covenant...and some very angry Nazis.
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Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard on Sat Nov 24, 2007 6:31 am

An itty bitty, teeny weeny, yellow polka dot bikini.
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Postby St John the Blasphemist on Sat Nov 24, 2007 7:49 am

Fluence in a Khoisan dialect (click language).
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Postby lordpunkmonk on Sat Nov 24, 2007 9:04 am

fish that can jump up and pop your head off with thier tails
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111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321
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Postby Rainswept on Sat Nov 24, 2007 10:17 am

A troop of "invisible children"-type kid soldiers, which she will use to guard her lawn from the neighborhood dog who keeps crapping on it.
I believe it's time for mankind to set aside the crutch of religion and embrace morality born of reason and truth. Those crutches have long since proven treacherous when the ground gets slippery.
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Postby lordpunkmonk on Sat Nov 24, 2007 11:01 pm

a spaggeti eating tree that solves a math equation that proves that FSM is correct
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Missing link

Postby black bart on Sun Nov 25, 2007 4:21 am

A great anthropological discovery...The Missing Link between Ape and Human...Oh sorry, Walktheplank is already with us.
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