NOT COMMANDMENTS, SUGGESTIONS

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Postby thegoddessofbob on Tue Feb 06, 2007 1:01 pm

So is there an official updated list of the I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts?
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Postby Duke on Wed Feb 07, 2007 1:48 am

Yes, it's in the Gospel. Highly recommended. :D


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"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."

--Mark Twain


He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

--Friedrich Nietzsche


"If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."

--Woody Allen
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Postby Barbarian on Fri Feb 16, 2007 10:01 am

Thou shalt be amused rather than angered by the words and deeds of idiots; for I am thy Noodly Lord and I have created idiots solely for entertainment purposes, Mine first and thine likewise.

[edited countless times as I can always find a more English formulation]
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Postby benven on Wed Apr 25, 2007 10:33 pm

If thou useth thy digit to point to friend or foe whilst imbibing the sacred elixir, thou shall chug.
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Postby supercheetah on Thu Apr 26, 2007 12:19 am

Thou ought to taste beyond the shell of the tortellini, and into the cheesy fillings.

This is just trying to say, "Don't be superficial. Look beyond appearances to see the true substances of things, especially to avoid being fooled." It might be a little obtuse to get that message across so if anyone has any suggestions of improvement, please bring them forth! :D
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Postby Pirate Terramort on Wed Oct 31, 2007 3:03 am

The Wise Council of World Pasta has declared these guidelines (not rules) acceptable and added to Cannon of World Pasta:

1. Thou shalt be amused rather than angered by the words and deeds of idiots; for I am thy Noodly Lord and I have created idiots solely for entertainment purposes, Mine first and thine likewise.

2. Thou shalt not say ARRRRR just for the sake of it. Thou shalt say it with feeling.

3. Thou shalt not overcook thy noodles, for they get all mooshy and its just not cool.

4. Thou shalt retain rational thought processes except in the course of hedonistic pleasures, or pursuit of the biological imperative, or both.

5. Though shall not eat "chicken" nuggets from fast-food restaraunts, as it is unpure.

6. Thou shalt not wonder why thine creator hast eyestalks.

7. Thou shalt not send thy children to military school, for the pasta there is hideous.

8. Thou shalt not hurt thyself or others in manners that thou or they do not find appealing.

9. Thou shalt not insult a pirate to his face, even jokingly, for pirates possess the divine privilege to defend their pirate ego unless thou art prepared to offer a Holy meal of spaghetti and meatballs to said pirate. In which case he is required to accept both the Holy meal and the insult.

10. Thou shalt recognize that between pirates and ninjas, pirates are far superior beings. Additionally thou shalt vehemently argue this fact with ninja supporters regardless of actual objective evidence to the contrary should thou be presented with such.


And such the guidelines (not rules) have been established. May the Flying Spaghetti Monster bless you and yours. RAmen.

However, there is still room for more guidelines (not rules)
:worship: :fsm_float:
Sincerely,
Drew Anderson, Th. D.
Captain of the Birthday Massacre
High Magus of the Wise Council of World Pasta

If you love someone, set them free. If they return to you, put several 8 inch blades into their head. If they return again, then run.... Just RUN.

1st Nautilus 4:4 " For, in the words of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, “Don’t be a bitch. It’s not nice.” "
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Postby Acidhouser on Tue Nov 20, 2007 3:10 am

Thou may covet thy neighbours ass, particularly if it is a fine ass, however thou should not touch without permission.

Thou should not eat the yellow snow, for it is an abomination unto me
Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think.
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2 new suggestions

Postby soccerman on Thu Dec 20, 2007 7:01 am

Thou shall dress like a pirate whenever a chance is presented.

September 19 is a most holy day, for it is Talk like a pirate day. Ye shall honor pirates, by talking like one

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pirate_Day) :fsm_yarr:
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Postby Mongo of the North on Fri Dec 21, 2007 3:01 am

Due to an influx in stray cats the killing of kittens shall be mandatory until otherwise noted.
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Postby Mac N. Cheez on Sat Apr 19, 2008 3:00 pm

Thou shalt not eat low-fat or imitation cheeses upon thy pasta and sauce for their taste is substandard and their textures just plain funky.

Velveeta shall be excepted for despite it's lack of any natural ingredients, it's taste is divine.

:fsm_rock:
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Yet she increased her prostitution, remembering the days of her youth when she engaged in prostitution in the land of Egypt. She lusted after their genitals – as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of stallions.
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none but ourselves can free our minds"
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Postby Cardinal Fang on Mon Apr 21, 2008 12:13 pm

Mongo of the North wrote:Due to an influx in stray cats the killing of kittens shall be mandatory until otherwise noted.



NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

How about 1 nicked from the Reduced Shakespeare Company (one of their 10 rejected commandments: The English shall not give back Northern Ireland until the Irish take back Riverdance.


This always makes me chuckle when I hear it.

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To contact me, my email is "latinum" at "hotmail" dot "com".
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Re: NOT COMMANDMENTS, SUGGESTIONS

Postby bendyl7 on Fri Jun 13, 2008 9:12 pm

this be added in very late but heres one:

"thine ships if build be preferably of fine timber, for the voyage of his chosen peoples should be one sturdy enough for the grog that his chosen ones verily drink.

or something like that, it may be very late me adding this, but i think it could be a good one with a little help
:fsm:
may you be touched
-ben
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Re: NOT COMMANDMENTS, SUGGESTIONS

Postby GreenRain22 on Sun Jun 15, 2008 8:57 pm

And His Yumminess said to the Tribe of Jim,

"You shalt not bash thy neighbor's beliefs. Thou will be squishedeth with pancakes if thou does so."

"
Kaylee: Wash, tell me I'm pretty.
Wash: If I were unwed, I would take you up in a manly fashion.
Kaylee: 'Cause I'm pretty?
Wash: 'Cause your pretty.
(Wash and Kaylee, Firefly, Heart of Gold)

It's a broken hearts parade
And I'm putting my heart out on display
There's no masquerade
Just a funeral march for love today
The band strikes up and they're playing a song
Dressed in black, and we're singing along to the
Broken hearts parade
I've never been better then I am today


(Broken Hearts Parade - Good Charlotte)
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Re: NOT COMMANDMENTS, SUGGESTIONS

Postby Detective TurtleHolmes on Mon Jun 16, 2008 6:56 am

Thou shalt keep thy inhibitions during the consumption of the holy Brew. A drunken peasant shalt never receive his neighbour's bread.
A flap of the wings yesterday means big changes tomorrow.
Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.

So yeah, I went and got a blog.
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Re: NOT COMMANDMENTS, SUGGESTIONS

Postby Aedeus on Tue Jun 17, 2008 2:37 pm

Ye shall do whatever pleases ye - unless what pleases ye causes misfortune unto others
"In the beginning there was nothing and he said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it."
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