Note to Seller: Openboat
Oi want ter komplain abowt the Lucky Fishhead ye selled me.
Two days after the fish head arrived Oi won twenty million Dubloons in the Piratica national sweepstakes. since then me loife as been wun o unmittigated trubble, relatives Oi never new Oi 'ad ringin me up at all 'ours o the noight, worries about where ter invest me winnins so all the pirates carnt get their dirty mits on it, endless decisions about whaere ter buy me new 'ouse and what colour to get fer the furniture, should we have wall ter wall carpet or floor bords? How unlucky is that?
Then the followin week me missus was involved in a terrible mutli cart accident on the high street - 33 people were killed an she escaped without a scratch! How unlucky kin Oi be?
Just now Oi get a message from Scumsoft tellin me Oi 'ad wun a new computer wiv Portholes Avarsta Ultimate installed, now Oi arx ye, how unlucky kin wun pirate be?
Them "lucky" fish 'eads be rubbish, Oi want me munny back!
Ye may knowe mee better as Cap'n Bluenose