NEWBIE PIRATES START HERE

[DaveL]

Dear Newcomers,

Welcome the Pirate Forum of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Aunty Blackbeard has asked me to provide you with a special place where newcomers can ask questions about the characters, threads and ideas which have evolved in Pirates, before you immerse yourself in the main forum. Those long standing Pirates are a naughty lot and I need a big stick to look after them. So don't wander out there just yet.

The Pirate Forum is completely unlike other areas of the Forum. It has evolved elements of creative writing, role play and modern life. It can be a bit overwhelming if you think it's just about Johhny Depp or Talk Like A Pirate Day.

Aunty Blackbeard has requested that this thread is kept exclusively for newcomers to ask questions about the forum. Like

1. What is Playbilge?
2. What is the Continuous Salty Tale about?
3. Are the resident Pirates here sane in real life?
4. Does Johhny Depp live here?

Aunty has asked that the usual culprits refrain from posting in this part of the forum. Once our new friends are up to speed, they can 'have at you' in the larger pirate forum.

So start here and if you have any questions or suggestions, then ask Aunty Blackbeard here.

[Zankou 2.0]

Who the hell is Auntie Blackbeard?

[Zankou 2.0]

How do I kill a troll?

[wanderlust wench]

What about a special edition of Playbilge for the wenches? I, for one, wouldn't mind a peek into the swarthy depths of a pirates "character"!

[Auntie Blackbeard]

Who the hell is Auntie Blackbeard?

Hello there Mr Zankou (you be hardly a newbie),

I am him/her, your Pirate Agony Aunt. Those more experienced Pirates are a real pain in the neck and they've outgrown me of late. Too busy off pillaging this and raidin' that. No time for a little heart to heart. When things don't go their way, just watch 'em come hobbling back cryin'.

I am here too answer the troubles of youse newer younger folk. So if yer have any questions about the forum, please ask. We have bin goin' for quite some time, and you'll need to kick one of the lads in the shins before they tell ye anythin'.

So asks away me young/newbie hearties. There be much hexplanin' to be done.

[Auntie Blackbeard]

Who is Big Brenda? who dose she hang out with. what be her hobbies and interest? what dowse sahe look like? what dose she wear? what weponds dose she weld? any pets? what is her haratage? where is she from? how dose she act? how old is she? what is her family life like? how did sahe learn to use thouse wepends?

why?

How do we incorperate this information in to the salty tale???

Big Brenda has her origins in Playbilge Magazine, she was invented by Bart. She is a famous Big Girl who used to work at Madame Fifi's (house of love), and became a famous celebrity as a Playbilge centrefold. Black Bart also has a ship named after her, with a rather busty Stern figurine.

As Captain DaveL indicated, she already well established chracter, so there is no need to reinvent her. Have a read of the early Playbilge posts. She is already well documented there.
http://www.venganza.org/forum/viewtopic ... &start=225

http://www.venganza.org/forum/viewtopic ... &start=330
You would simply need to mention her in the Salty Tale for the other to understand. We all know who Brenda is.

[black bart]

Arrrrrrrrrr...I've been at the Captain's Delight and the Brasso again...can somebody remind me who I am?

As long as aint Cap'n Cronan or Waltheplank I'll be Happy!

[The Black Spot]

http://www.somethingawful.com/hosted/jeffk/

[black bart]

Here's FSB arriving at a bathroom near you!

[The wench]

Sorry to say but, I have only one thing to say here. I normally dont like takeing sides on anything but, I feel FSB was right back when he WAS a member here. Seems now that he was only speaking his opinion on things and you pirates didnt agree, you took him out. I think that he is right, me and him were on a good track with the story and you all seem to like to go into different directions. I am oficially confused in the story and cant add to it... I havent been around all weekend and NOW I dont know whats going on! So I suppose I shall wait for a reply from you on this, then I shall leave here with my dignity in tact. Sorry.

[DaveL]

This is my final word.

FSB was warned repeatedly for disrupting the other members of this forum. He was a troll.

Our Mod staff were fielding many complaints about his disruptive behaviour. But never once did he back down or try to fit in. He just complained about everything and got everyone off side. 'Change the entire Pirate Forum, because I don't get it'. Well the truth is, alot of people DO get it and we are not organising the entire board to accommodate him.

When he finally apologised to me as requested, he reposted my personal emails back into the forum - a complete breach of trust. Hardly the work of someone who is sorry or willing. Never in my entire time here have I had to lock and delete so many posts because of FSB.

We Mods a very even handed bunch, plus the other Forum members know how to behave.

There are no issues with you, you are doing just fine. If you do stick around you will find this a happy, funny experience. You seem like a good person, plus there are some people here who would gladly show you the ropes.

[tanguerra]

It is a simple enough thing fer a young pirate ter understand I'd a thought - so to all ye young newbies out there, harken ter Tanguerra and keep yerselves nice: obey orders from the Captain or risk the consequences. Do a bit of readin' before ye begin writing and learn the lay o the land, so ter speak, before ye set sail on yer pirate adventure.

Captain Dave acted with utmost restraint in my 'umble view before finally lowering the boom on that impudent young swab FSB and not before time. Back in my day insubordination of that order were punishable by keelhaulin at the very least. There be one valid opinion in cases of dispute or disagreement on a pirate ship, and that be the opinion of the Captain. Young scallywags spoiling everyone else's fun and making a mess of things be a pain in the proverbial and rightly be dealt with accordionly.

FSM Pirate Discussion is all about havin' fun and crackin' jokes and bein' generally amusin'. If at all possible, be best to try to display some wit and a little creativity now and again. Sometimes these old salty dogs mostly amuse themselves, but that be all part of life's rich tapestry and be part of what has made Pirates NO 2!!!!!, so let's not mess up a good thing.

Now, pirates, bein' pirates, they be very partial to a double intender on the subject of flatulence, their own and others private parts, Madame Fifi's girls and their coquettish ways and (er) self-abuse. It be a pirate thing.

Some of the humour be somewhat adult and possibly not all that well understood or appreciated by those of more tender years. If the humour be not understood or appreciated by a wanna be pastafarian pirate, or if ye find the subject of flatulence less than edifyin', there be many, many other places on the magical mystical internet far more suitable for wee urchins to disport theirselves.

So, all ye young swabs, play nice, respect yer Captain's wishes, stop yer snivellin' and have some fun.

If ye don't understand what's goin' on, ask yer Aunty Blackbeard before yer make a specktackle of yerself. She likes nothin' better than ter set yez all straight.

Arrrrrrrrrr...I've been at the Captain's Delight and the Brasso again...can somebody remind me who I am? As long as aint Cap'n Cronan or Waltheplank I'll be Happy!

No, Black Bart, ye be Black Bart. Captain Cronan be yer arch nemesis. I suggest watering the Brasso down with a little methylated spirit and some furniture polish for future reference.

[black bart]

Any newbies thinkin o joinin up might loik ta read some real historical stuff about our Seafarin inspirations. I have just read an article in BBC History magazine regardin our sworn enemies: The Royal Navy and an examination of 100 skeletons buried at the Royal Hospital burial ground, Greenwich.

The article is entitled: Stunted, Scrapping sailors. It all sounds terribly familiar and here are some extracts, my comments are in brackets:

"The Sailors who fought at Trafalgar were recruited from the most deprived areas of British society (Porstmouth).

Bone analysis has revealed that they were shorter then most 18th and 19th century working class men.

A high level of injuries consistent with boxing and brawling were found (Admiral Benbow regulars). Forty-three percent of the skeletons had suffered broken noses. Twenty nine percent had rib fractures, 12 percent broken upper jaws and 22 percent broken hand bones.

At least 13 percent-but potentially double or treble that number-had scurvy. One suffered scurvy, athritis, bone infections and had 22 fractures (he must ave been a Tea Drinker)."

[The Black Spot]

...Bone analysis has revealed that they were shorter then most 18th and 19th century working class men.

Aye. Avin' yer legs blown off by a cannonball can have that effect.

[black bart]

Another snippet from the History mag...Excavations off the US east coast are uncovering the stern of what appears to be Blackbeard's famous ship, Queen Anne's Revenge. This is the area where Blackbeard had his cabin.

Apparently Blackbeard named his ship 'Queen Anne's Revenge' because he had prospered as a privateer under Queen Anne and saw himself as an instrument of her posthumous revenge against the Hanoverians to whom she had been rather cool.

Oh yes, you can ask me anything about Pirates. I know it all, just ask me a question go on, lets have a serious discussion here...AAAARRRRGH, tis the ghost of Taichi possessin me!!!!