The Continuous Salty Tale

Arrr, I be a pirate!

Moderator: All Things Mods

Black Jack

Postby black bart on Thu Oct 20, 2005 6:20 am

...caused a near disaster when that Old Jamaican Pirate 'Black Jack Broadside' lurched passed after a hearty meal of Goat Curry and Baked beans.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Postby DaveL on Thu Oct 20, 2005 6:50 am

Yarrr...

Now back to the raid on The Wedge.

Despite the mishaps, the boys did place the powder kegs near the bow.
However, First Mate Johno forgot the matches.

To light the fuse blind Pugh gave Johnno one of his glass eyes. But as it was dark, they had to wait till the sun came up.

And the sun did allow the sentry watch more advantage. But by 9am the sun was hot enough for the glass eye to catch the suns rays. And Johnno did light the fuse...
Manatee Singles

www.hotdugong.com
User avatar
DaveL
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4904
Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2005 8:57 pm
Location: Van Diemens Land

Postby beagle on Thu Oct 20, 2005 7:01 am

... an it was at that point he realised the tiny flaw in the plan...
beagle
Brewmeister
 
Posts: 1930
Joined: Tue Sep 13, 2005 3:12 am
Location: Under sail

Postby Qwertyuiopasd on Thu Oct 20, 2005 7:12 am

..they forgot the baked beans and curry...
daftbeaker wrote:But if I stop bugging you I'll have to go back to arguing with Qwerty about whether beauty is truth and precisely what we both mean by 'purple' :moon:


Any statistical increase in the usage of the :idiot: emoticon since becoming Admin should not be considered significant, meaningful, or otherwise cause for worry.
User avatar
Qwertyuiopasd
Admirable Admiral Qwerty
 
Posts: 14349
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2005 5:38 pm
Location: Northern Virginia

Licence

Postby black bart on Thu Oct 20, 2005 11:20 am

Ay me hearties - and they's forgot to apply for a 'Blowing the shite Out of another persons Ship' licence - later in history to become a gun licence. But the quick thinking Captain hadn't been sailing the Spanish Main all those years for nothing. He sent his crew ashore to gather the biggest coconuts they could find. His plan was cunning, they would pelt the enemy ship with nuts, if anyone complained he would explain that were making a wholesale delivery from 'Tesco Online' and the bananas were next.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Postby DaveL on Thu Oct 20, 2005 5:56 pm

...but by then it was mornin' and the Captain had given up with the lads. He flashed at the lads to return to the ship. He then tried a mirror and sunlight, for being nude attracted much unwanted attention.

Yarrr, stuff it lads, lets just shoot the powder kegs with our cannons. "Powder kegs at 200 yards" screamed Hossenfeffer to the Cannoneers (not Canoneers). And they did send forth a great volley of cannon balls which...
Manatee Singles

www.hotdugong.com
User avatar
DaveL
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4904
Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2005 8:57 pm
Location: Van Diemens Land

Postby beagle on Thu Oct 20, 2005 6:33 pm

...straddled the Wedgie, and sent great plumes of water over the bridge, where her capn was adjusting his air of self-rightiousness in a mirror provided for that very purpose. "Cor, strike a light" he exclaimed (for he had worked his way up to his current exalted rank after starting as understudy for Dick van Dyke in Mary Poppins, and at moments of stress often reverted to type) ...
beagle
Brewmeister
 
Posts: 1930
Joined: Tue Sep 13, 2005 3:12 am
Location: Under sail

Postby DaveL on Thu Oct 20, 2005 8:29 pm

...and a cannon ball did narrowly miss his head, with the slipstream messin up his hair. 'Oh drats. It be thine old enemy Hossenfeffer. Hit the deck everyone incoming. Pip Pip Tally Ho.'...
Manatee Singles

www.hotdugong.com
User avatar
DaveL
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4904
Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2005 8:57 pm
Location: Van Diemens Land

Wrecked

Postby black bart on Fri Oct 21, 2005 10:52 am

The wedgie was blown out of the water - bits of pirate going everywhere - and that fine ship loaded with treasure sank into the turquoise waters of the Carribean.

Over 200 years later a 'Time Team' archaeological expedition is sent out to try and find the location of the wreck and it's legendary treasure. Introduced by Tony Robinson (better known as Baldrick from Black Adder).

Tony Robinson's piece to camera:
Action:

'We've got just three days to find the wreck and evidence of her pirate treasure - over to Phil in trench 3'..

'Oo Ar I've dropped me trowel!'
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Postby beagle on Fri Oct 21, 2005 2:12 pm

...We'll be needin the first ten minutes staring at sonar scans, pretendin there be little chance of findin her before the winter drizzle sets in, then we'll be needin a lucky last chance observation turnin out to be her, jest before the commercial break.
Arterwards we'll be needin a lot of rent-a-talkin-heads staring at barnacle encrusted blobs of metal, and sayin stuff like "this may be the very fragment which sank the ship, or it may be an early medieval basketball, we can'ts be sure", finally we'll be needin a machine that goes "ping" to tell us which it be , and provin inconclusive.
But fer now, all that lay in the far future...
beagle
Brewmeister
 
Posts: 1930
Joined: Tue Sep 13, 2005 3:12 am
Location: Under sail

Postby Qwertyuiopasd on Fri Oct 21, 2005 4:23 pm

..back to the past, or present, or whenever the battle was happening. although his ship was blown out of the water, Brucey still survived, being (as Cap'n Hossenfeffer would put it), "as F***ing cheerful as ever"

hossenfeffer did mull about on the subject of destroying Brucey, and finally decided to...
daftbeaker wrote:But if I stop bugging you I'll have to go back to arguing with Qwerty about whether beauty is truth and precisely what we both mean by 'purple' :moon:


Any statistical increase in the usage of the :idiot: emoticon since becoming Admin should not be considered significant, meaningful, or otherwise cause for worry.
User avatar
Qwertyuiopasd
Admirable Admiral Qwerty
 
Posts: 14349
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2005 5:38 pm
Location: Northern Virginia

Postby DaveL on Fri Oct 21, 2005 6:52 pm

...have a massive Pirate Party on his ship (which is still yet unnamed ey' believe).

For while Brucey and the survivors struggled to the shores of Kingston harbour, the lads on Hossenfeffers ship began wildly celebratin'. YARRRRR!!! YIPEEEEEE!!! And that was just the parrot.

For they all got wildly smashed that night. Hossenfeffer felt avenged for past wrongs Brucey had caused him and his pirate bretheren. And for the many ships The Wedge had sent to the bottom.

Brucey and the survivors did thus watch the celebrations from the shores of Kingston. And they all joined together with hands held in prayer and said...
Manatee Singles

www.hotdugong.com
User avatar
DaveL
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4904
Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2005 8:57 pm
Location: Van Diemens Land

Postby DaveL on Sat Oct 22, 2005 7:42 pm

...snapped back into Christianity and refused to eat meat. For they vowed revenge and not conversion to a more sensible religion.

However, Hossenfeffer in his drunken stupour had decided to leave Kingston for a bit R&R ie. more drinkin' and wenchin' at the next port of call - Port au Prince.

For Hossenfeffer had many find memories of his time in the Haitian Port. For he did like them Frenchies love of food and wine. And it sure beat the cookin' of Tom 'Fishguts' Farrell - who was once left stranded by the French.

And Hossenfeffer did think back to the first time he picked up Fishguts on a sandy desert island...
Manatee Singles

www.hotdugong.com
User avatar
DaveL
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4904
Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2005 8:57 pm
Location: Van Diemens Land

Floyd

Postby black bart on Sat Oct 22, 2005 7:52 pm

where he'd been assisting Keith Floyd (famous world renown cheff and drunkard) on the BBC series 'Floyd on desert islands'.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Postby DaveL on Sun Oct 23, 2005 4:53 am

...sadly since then Fishguts cooking skills has gone down hill. As he was akin to the odd drop or two. Yarrrr...and he earnt the name Fishguts on account of the fact that he often...
Manatee Singles

www.hotdugong.com
User avatar
DaveL
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4904
Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2005 8:57 pm
Location: Van Diemens Land

PreviousNext

Return to Pirate Discussion

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests

cron