Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved here

[beagle]

It might be yer's parrot is just tired. After a stressful day piratin they's don't always have the energy for a long squawk. Thumpin it and shoutin at it will probably jest make it worse. Oi's heard the problem's often in their little minds; once it's gone a few days without a squawk it starts to think it'll never squawk again, an it just sits there sullen and droopy on its perch. Yer can get special bird seed for em which perks em up a bit so I's heard.

One of me old chums had the other problem; a parrot which squawked as soon you looked at it. Drove his wife to distraction till she trained it proper.

[beagle]

C'mon Mods we be needin a sticky! YARRR!

That'd be the crownin achievement of me career matey. Me own sticky.

Arrrrr

[DaveL]

It'd be mine as well laddy. If yer need a bit of assistance from an Antipodean, I would be most honoured to help yer'

YARRR!!

[beagle]

Arrr, Indeed. I was thinkin we should all answer 'em, and bring the vast range our nautical expertise to bear. Maybe we could persuade Auntie Dee Dee to be Auntie in chief. It were just that as first post (with "me friends" woodworm problem) me name would be permanently up in lights.

[DaveL]

Arrghh...

Gettin me 'Arghhh' stickied was a tough task. Aunty got it up eventually though. Ey' think ye might need to start a new post - Auntie will tell yer.

All the newbie pirates need a few of us old dogs to show em the way.
Otherwise the Global warmin will get worse.

[beagle]

Yer think flowers and chocolates and maybe a parrot (one that works) might swing it?

Arrr

[black bart]

Yer think flowers and chocolates and maybe a parrot (one that works) might swing it?

HAAAAARRR..maybe we could ave a whip round and collect enough booty ta buy Aunty a lovely Norwegian Blue!

[fusiontortellini]

[pretending to be confused American]

And how would a good floggin' get 'er a Norwegian Blue?

Sure an' she'd like dark chocolate more.

[beagle]

A whip round means we have the crew roundly whipped till they feels able to contribute to the collection.*


------------------------------
* (C) Blackadder ~ 1990

[fusiontortellini]

Yeah, but that just brought a cannonball-proof cigarillo case.

[amenabletopasta]

C'mon Mods we be needin a sticky! YARRR!

Arrghh...

Gettin me 'Arghhh' stickied was a tough task. Aunty got it up eventually though. Ey' think ye might need to start a new post - Auntie will tell yer.

All the newbie pirates need a few of us old dogs to show em the way.
Otherwise the Global warmin will get worse.

Arrr! Oi reckons Oi be 'aving a "stickify" attachment for me Swiss army hook - Oi'll 'ave a go at working out how t' use it. If I can be workin' out how it be operated (an' there don't be any funny rules about when t' use it) Oi'll create us a "Dear Aunty..." post.

(Probably be a good idea t' carry on wit' the whip round, though, in case the wisdom o' Auntie Dee Dee be needed)

In the means time, what d'ye reckons our Agony Aunty be called? Perraps Bess? Or Aunty Blackbeard?

[beagle]

Aunt Polly?

Pirateline?

Long John's confidential advice centre?


I was forgetting Amenable was himself a pirate king. Yer's done it fine.
If yer'd rather start again wiv a better name I won'ts be offended (though obviously me megalomania normally knows no bounds).

Arrrrr.

[amenabletopasta]

Belay! Oi've stickified this thread, although Oi mights be getting fifty lashes for it.

I was forgetting Amenable was himself a pirate king. Yer's done it fine.
If yer'd rather start again wiv a better name I won'ts be offended (though obviously me megalomania normally knows no bounds).

Arrrrr.

D'ye want t' change the title o' the thread now that it be a sticky 'un? Ye should be able t' edit the title o' ye're original message... Oi reckons "Dear Aunty [whatever ye decide 'er name is]" would be good.

Sing along, me hearties...

[aquazoo]

Dear Auntie,

I have a question that I'm a bit embarassed to ask, since the answer is peobably here in the forvm. Though I've read through several topics, I fear it would take years of reading before finding any mention of this, so I will ask.

There is an ElderGod who is known to have wings and tentacles, and locally there is a Pirate King who has some knowledge of this God. He is, however, a God of destruction that most sane people hope will remain sleeping blissfully at the bottom of the ocean.

Between the physical description and the reverence of Their followers, I wonder if there is some connection between these two Dieties? Is the FSM a kinder, more benevolent face of the same God? Are they members of the same Family?

Should worshippers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster be aware of this other God?

Finally, are there any FSM followers in Arkham?

Sincerely, Carol

[amenabletopasta]

Dear Carol,

It be a common enough worry for young pirates such as yeself. But fret ye not! Follow this 'ere portal through the dimensions and ye shall be seeing the thoughts o' others on this matter.

Oi don't be sure about FSM followers in Arkham, though...