10,000 (more) Commandments

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Postby Land Shark on Thu Jul 05, 2007 1:49 pm

9974: Thou shalt not purchase a Hummer if thou doth not reside in a war zone.
I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity. -Edgar Allan Poe
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Postby Rainswept on Thu Jul 05, 2007 2:22 pm

9973: Thall shalt not allow thy children to scream and carry on in a restaurant.
I believe it's time for mankind to set aside the crutch of religion and embrace morality born of reason and truth. Those crutches have long since proven treacherous when the ground gets slippery.
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Postby PantyGnawer on Thu Jul 05, 2007 11:53 pm

Rainswept is a kindered spirit.

9972 Thou shalt not tell thine server that thoust are ready to order then ask others at the table to go ahead first so that thou can have ten more seconds to decide then take three more minutes to decide as the server waits.

9971 Thou shalt not allow thine children to create a greater mess in a restaurant than thou would allow at home. Should this happen the tip should be comiserate in accordance with the level of mess.

9970 Thou shalt not ask thy children what they want to drink 10 times when you won't let them have anything that they really want anyway. (Punishment for this crime shall be that your server will add copious amounts of sugar water to your childs drink and be readily available for frequent refills. Good luck getting your kids to bed tonight!)

9969 Thou shalt not treat the people who handle your food with disrespect.

9968 If thou are a Cop in a small to medium sized town, thou should not go out to eat EVER! Chances are that someone who works there has been arrested by you, and they will take vengance on you. Hell, other employees are likely to help them. (A great story goes along with this one)

9967 If thou are a dick to thine server, when thine credit card is returned to you, there is really no telling where it has been in the last five minutes. Perhaps you should go home and wash it.
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Postby Rainswept on Fri Jul 06, 2007 12:22 am

9966: Thou shalt not breast feed children old enough to walk and talk in a public restaurant.

9965: Thou shalt put thy $%@!$#% cellphone down and speak to thy server when they comest to help thee.

9964: Thou shalt not drink thy child's small beverage over and over again whilst thee hast ordered water, simply because children drink for free.

9963: Thou shalt not go out to eat at places thee cannot really afford simply because thee are dressed nicely on Sunday afternoons.

9962: Thou shalt never ask thine server if a dish is good or not, thou knowest damn well thy server cannot say it is bad. Thou shalt instead ask which is better between thy choices.

9961: Thou shalt not order Filet Mignon well done.

9960: Thou shalt ask for all thy various special needs at one time, instead of sending thine server back to the kitchen for one more thing each time they arrive with the last.

9959: Thou shalt sit where the hell thine hostess puts thee.

9958: Thou shalt not ask why "The ni##ers" got served before thee.
I believe it's time for mankind to set aside the crutch of religion and embrace morality born of reason and truth. Those crutches have long since proven treacherous when the ground gets slippery.
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Postby PantyGnawer on Fri Jul 06, 2007 1:55 am

Rainswept wrote:9962: Thou shalt never ask thine server if a dish is good or not, thou knowest damn well thy server cannot say it is bad. Thou shalt instead ask which is better between thy choices.


Actually, if I think the dish sucks, I tell em so. It helps your tips.

Rainswept wrote:9961: Thou shalt not order Filet Mignon well done.


This is the holy grail of my pet peves. Why don't you just order a hockey puck or dogfood for that matter.
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Postby Rainswept on Fri Jul 06, 2007 7:23 am

9957: Thou shalt fix thy signature, thou fsmdamn retard.
I believe it's time for mankind to set aside the crutch of religion and embrace morality born of reason and truth. Those crutches have long since proven treacherous when the ground gets slippery.
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Postby Zankou 2.0 on Fri Jul 06, 2007 10:31 am

Rainswept wrote:9957: Thou shalt fix thy signature, thou fsmdamn retard.


9956: Thou shalt not taketh they friends words out of his mouth.
--Zankou II

The thin line between genius and insanity is less of a border than a union.

"Science can purify religion from error and superstition; religion can purify science from idolatry and false absolutes. Each can draw the other into a wider world, a world in which both can flourish."
--Pope John Paul II


Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-Albert Einstein
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Postby teripie on Fri Jul 06, 2007 11:17 am

9955: Thou shalt not be a newbie upstart.
-----(\ /)------
-----(o.o)-----
----(> <)-----
This is Bunny.
Bunny, as cute and cuddley as he may appear, is bent on world domination.
To achieve this he has decided to start by taking over teh intarweb, a step towards his ultimate goal.
To help him complete his quest and therefore ensure bunny domination, copy and paste him into your sig
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Postby Zankou 2.0 on Fri Jul 06, 2007 11:19 am

9954: Thou shalt fulfil all roles and complete all jobs to the fullest extent of thine power. That which deserveth to be done deserveth to be done properly.
--Zankou II

The thin line between genius and insanity is less of a border than a union.

"Science can purify religion from error and superstition; religion can purify science from idolatry and false absolutes. Each can draw the other into a wider world, a world in which both can flourish."
--Pope John Paul II


Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-Albert Einstein
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Postby kaioshin00 on Sat Jul 07, 2007 12:09 am

9953: Thou shall not eateth the fortunes inside thoust fortune cookies.
:shellfish: :shellfish: March of the crabbies :shellfish: :shellfish:
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Postby St John the Blasphemist on Sat Jul 07, 2007 6:34 pm

9952: Thou shalt appreciate that the bit where it sayeth "this insert has a plastic coating" hath more merit than the fortune told on the other side.

9951: Thou shalt obey commandment 9950

9950: Thou shalt disregard commandment 9951

9949: Thou shalt beware of strange loops in thy commandments
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Stupidity: What intelligent people wish they had less of.

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Postby Zankou 2.0 on Tue Jul 10, 2007 6:10 pm

9948: Thou shalt not steal another's thunder, for it is a despicable thing.
--Zankou II

The thin line between genius and insanity is less of a border than a union.

"Science can purify religion from error and superstition; religion can purify science from idolatry and false absolutes. Each can draw the other into a wider world, a world in which both can flourish."
--Pope John Paul II


Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-Albert Einstein
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Postby Land Shark on Fri Jul 13, 2007 1:39 am

9947: Thou shalt not treat thy volunteers as slaves. Thy vounteers shalt resent thee, and spread the word that thy are a slave driver and thee will no longer have volunteers.
I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity. -Edgar Allan Poe
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Postby kirayon on Fri Jul 13, 2007 11:16 am

9946: Thou shalt not leave thine popcorn on the floor of movie theaters, for there are always garbage cans outside said theater where said popcorn containers shall be deposited.

9945: Thou shalt not reply with "you too" when an employee of a theater sayeth "enjoy thine show", they shall not enjoy it for they are not allowed to see it whilst at work.

9944: Thou shalt not ask for extra butter only to later come and complaineth about the amount of butter to receive free popcorn.

9943: Thou shalt not leave personal belongings of a gross nature (condoms, tampons, diapers ect.) on the floor of movie theaters.

9942: Thou shalt not complain to ushers about movies thou hast not enjoyed, we really cannot do anything about it.

9941: Thou shalt not always blame the employees for stealing lost articles. There are many other people there who will not get fired for the offense.

9940: If thou posteth in numbered thread thou shall hope that no one else had posted in said thread before you had finished what you were typing.
HAHA.....words.
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Postby St John the Blasphemist on Fri Jul 13, 2007 10:22 pm

9939: If someone posteth commandments unbeknownst to thee whilst thou typeth thine commandments, thou shalt rectify the numbering of thy commandments via the handy edit button at the top right corner of thy posts.
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Intelligence: What stupid people think they have lots of.
Stupidity: What intelligent people wish they had less of.

I want you to know that everything I did, I did for my country.
- Pol Pot

Check out St JtB's MySpace page here!!
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