BRAVE OR STUPID
This is the question Portsmouth residents are asking of 88 year old spinster Mrs Ethel Dingbat who challenged some citizens who were blatantly ignoring the towns smoking ban.
Mrs Dingbat went into the Admiral Benbow to purchase her regular bottle of stout when she noticed that a group of gentlemen (and we use this term loosely) were smoking a variety of tobacco products inside the tavern. These gentlemen (who witnesses suggest were Dave L, The Black Spot, Black Bart and Walk the Plank) were approached by Mrs Dingbat who requested that they cease smoking immediately.
Black Bart and Walk the Plank being simpering cowards meekly complied whilst Dave L roared with laughter slapped her on the back (knocking out her false teeth) and also stopped smoking. However, The Black Spot (who even to his friends is known as a despiciable, violent, homicidal maniac) carried on smoking. At this point Mrs Dingbat hit The Black Spot sharply on the elbow with her umbrella causing him to drop his cigarette, she then told him "You'll do what I ask young man, your not to old fer me to put yer over me knee ter give yer a good spanking" she then turned on her heels and left the tavern.
The Black Spot was beside himself with rage and left the tavern immediately to confront Mrs Dingbat. As we went to press we are still waiting for the outcome of this meeting.
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.