Where the hell are the CHUD?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Dear Science Fiction/Horror Writers, past and present:

Well, where the hell are they? Where are the CHUD? Where are the giant ants, coming out of the sewers of LA? Where are the T-Rexes, eating hapless tourists? Where are the mad computers slaying astronaughts? Hell, sirs and madams, I'd settle for Night of the Lepus, if I had to.

Where are all the insane cyborgs? The crazed super-soldiers gone rogue? How about a big friggin' asteroid, headed for Earth? Nuclear war? You PROMISED all these things, but - like all prophets - it seems you lied.

And that pisses me off.

You see, I've been looking forward to Spiders From Mars, Armageddon, Independence Day, Jurrassic Park...all of these wonderful visions of the future...the monsters, the heros, the utter annihilation of All Life On Earthâ„¢...

So bring them on, you bloated old windbags...I want to see alien bugs with acid blood, and I want to see them NOW. I want doomsday machines, Godzilla, those worm thingies from Tremors...Even the fish beastie from Deep Rising would make my freaking day, though 7 Monkeys would be pretty cool, too.

Get off your ass. Burn this bitch down.

Or kill me.

[Zankou 2.0]

Dear Science Fiction/Horror Writers, past and present:

Well, where the hell are they? Where are the CHUD? Where are the giant ants, coming out of the sewers of LA? Where are the T-Rexes, eating hapless tourists? Where are the mad computers slaying astronaughts? Hell, sirs and madams, I'd settle for Night of the Lepus, if I had to.

Where are all the insane cyborgs? The crazed super-soldiers gone rogue? How about a big friggin' asteroid, headed for Earth? Nuclear war? You PROMISED all these things, but - like all prophets - it seems you lied.

And that pisses me off.

You see, I've been looking forward to Spiders From Mars, Armageddon, Independence Day, Jurrassic Park...all of these wonderful visions of the future...the monsters, the heros, the utter annihilation of All Life On Earthâ„¢...

So bring them on, you bloated old windbags...I want to see alien bugs with acid blood, and I want to see them NOW. I want doomsday machines, Godzilla, those worm thingies from Tremors...Even the fish beastie from Deep Rising would make my freaking day, though 7 Monkeys would be pretty cool, too.

Get off your ass. Burn this bitch down.

Or kill me.

Why do you keep asking us to kill you?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Dear Science Fiction/Horror Writers, past and present:

Well, where the hell are they? Where are the CHUD? Where are the giant ants, coming out of the sewers of LA? Where are the T-Rexes, eating hapless tourists? Where are the mad computers slaying astronaughts? Hell, sirs and madams, I'd settle for Night of the Lepus, if I had to.

Where are all the insane cyborgs? The crazed super-soldiers gone rogue? How about a big friggin' asteroid, headed for Earth? Nuclear war? You PROMISED all these things, but - like all prophets - it seems you lied.

And that pisses me off.

You see, I've been looking forward to Spiders From Mars, Armageddon, Independence Day, Jurrassic Park...all of these wonderful visions of the future...the monsters, the heros, the utter annihilation of All Life On Earthâ„¢...

So bring them on, you bloated old windbags...I want to see alien bugs with acid blood, and I want to see them NOW. I want doomsday machines, Godzilla, those worm thingies from Tremors...Even the fish beastie from Deep Rising would make my freaking day, though 7 Monkeys would be pretty cool, too.

Get off your ass. Burn this bitch down.

Or kill me.

Why do you keep asking us to kill you?

Because my wife won't do it.

She says it won't mean anything if I don't put the effort out myself.