NOT COMMANDMENTS, SUGGESTIONS

[thegoddessofbob]

So is there an official updated list of the I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts?

[Duke]

Yes, it's in the Gospel. Highly recommended.


Duke

[Barbarian]

Thou shalt be amused rather than angered by the words and deeds of idiots; for I am thy Noodly Lord and I have created idiots solely for entertainment purposes, Mine first and thine likewise.

[edited countless times as I can always find a more English formulation]

[benven]

If thou useth thy digit to point to friend or foe whilst imbibing the sacred elixir, thou shall chug.

[supercheetah]

Thou ought to taste beyond the shell of the tortellini, and into the cheesy fillings.

This is just trying to say, "Don't be superficial. Look beyond appearances to see the true substances of things, especially to avoid being fooled." It might be a little obtuse to get that message across so if anyone has any suggestions of improvement, please bring them forth!

[Pirate Terramort]

The Wise Council of World Pasta has declared these guidelines (not rules) acceptable and added to Cannon of World Pasta:

1. Thou shalt be amused rather than angered by the words and deeds of idiots; for I am thy Noodly Lord and I have created idiots solely for entertainment purposes, Mine first and thine likewise.

2. Thou shalt not say ARRRRR just for the sake of it. Thou shalt say it with feeling.

3. Thou shalt not overcook thy noodles, for they get all mooshy and its just not cool.

4. Thou shalt retain rational thought processes except in the course of hedonistic pleasures, or pursuit of the biological imperative, or both.

5. Though shall not eat "chicken" nuggets from fast-food restaraunts, as it is unpure.

6. Thou shalt not wonder why thine creator hast eyestalks.

7. Thou shalt not send thy children to military school, for the pasta there is hideous.

8. Thou shalt not hurt thyself or others in manners that thou or they do not find appealing.

9. Thou shalt not insult a pirate to his face, even jokingly, for pirates possess the divine privilege to defend their pirate ego unless thou art prepared to offer a Holy meal of spaghetti and meatballs to said pirate. In which case he is required to accept both the Holy meal and the insult.

10. Thou shalt recognize that between pirates and ninjas, pirates are far superior beings. Additionally thou shalt vehemently argue this fact with ninja supporters regardless of actual objective evidence to the contrary should thou be presented with such.


And such the guidelines (not rules) have been established. May the Flying Spaghetti Monster bless you and yours. RAmen.

However, there is still room for more guidelines (not rules)

[Acidhouser]

Thou may covet thy neighbours ass, particularly if it is a fine ass, however thou should not touch without permission.

Thou should not eat the yellow snow, for it is an abomination unto me

[soccerman]

Thou shall dress like a pirate whenever a chance is presented.

September 19 is a most holy day, for it is Talk like a pirate day. Ye shall honor pirates, by talking like one

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pirate_Day)

[Mongo of the North]

Due to an influx in stray cats the killing of kittens shall be mandatory until otherwise noted.

[Mac N. Cheez]

Thou shalt not eat low-fat or imitation cheeses upon thy pasta and sauce for their taste is substandard and their textures just plain funky.

Velveeta shall be excepted for despite it's lack of any natural ingredients, it's taste is divine.

[Cardinal Fang]

Due to an influx in stray cats the killing of kittens shall be mandatory until otherwise noted.

NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

How about 1 nicked from the Reduced Shakespeare Company (one of their 10 rejected commandments: The English shall not give back Northern Ireland until the Irish take back Riverdance.


This always makes me chuckle when I hear it.

CF

[bendyl7]

this be added in very late but heres one:

"thine ships if build be preferably of fine timber, for the voyage of his chosen peoples should be one sturdy enough for the grog that his chosen ones verily drink.

or something like that, it may be very late me adding this, but i think it could be a good one with a little help

[GreenRain22]

And His Yumminess said to the Tribe of Jim,

"You shalt not bash thy neighbor's beliefs. Thou will be squishedeth with pancakes if thou does so."

"

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Thou shalt keep thy inhibitions during the consumption of the holy Brew. A drunken peasant shalt never receive his neighbour's bread.

[Aedeus]

Ye shall do whatever pleases ye - unless what pleases ye causes misfortune unto others