FSM Discussion

by **fusiontortellini** on Wed Oct 12, 2005 9:25 pm

I went to Catholic schools from kindergarten through 12th grade. I have therefore developed a severe allergy to Christianity.

It makes me foam at the mouth and bite people.

by **Qwertyuiopasd** on Wed Oct 12, 2005 9:30 pm

oooo. can i hire you?

by **fusiontortellini** on Wed Oct 12, 2005 9:58 pm

If I were well enough to work, I probably wouldn't foam at the mouth. But I'd probably still bite, if only verbally.

I do try to avoid red states, though. They'd shoot me.

by **Cardinal Queequeg** on Thu Oct 13, 2005 12:45 am

FireFox wrote:and I have no religion.
people say I am a humanist, but I fail to see how as I do not tend to classify myself as that.
I am me, and I work off observable evidence. how is that a religion
Steven

Steven:

Here in the deep South, I have been called a Humanist too.

I think this dates back to the Secular Humanist epic of the Fundies, when anything not directly supporting the adoption of fundamentalist ideals across society was called "secular humanism."

Being a physician, I always like it when they call me that. To them it is derisive, to me it is a compliment. If you are a good person, work from the facts, and are generally kind to those around you, you probably represent a "religion", based on education, that scares them to death.

Always glad to have another Humanist around.

Cardinal Queequeg

by **Qwertyuiopasd** on Thu Oct 13, 2005 7:32 am

fusiontortellini wrote:If I were well enough to work, I probably wouldn't foam at the mouth. But I'd probably still bite, if only verbally.

I do try to avoid red states, though. They'd shoot me.

no, no, i meant, hire you for your foaming mouth.

what else?

by **fusiontortellini** on Thu Oct 13, 2005 7:59 am

I could make a very crude comment about that, but this isn't the over-18 area.
I suppose I could fake the foaming -- all it takes is a little hydrogen peroxide. The psychotic expression comes naturally.

by **Qwertyuiopasd** on Thu Oct 13, 2005 8:07 am

but you said that it already made you foam at the mouth. oh well.

i guess I'm not hiring you in my... crusade.

heh.

by **fusiontortellini** on Thu Oct 13, 2005 9:20 am

Hey, I have to exposed to Christians first! You didn't say you were going to do that. You'd also have to wait for one of my good days. You know, a day when I can walk.

by **Qwertyuiopasd** on Thu Oct 13, 2005 9:30 am

alright, alright, i'll find someone else. nothing personal its just business.

*shoots fusiontortellini*

oops. i forgot I'm not in the mafia.
...
...

and where the hell did this gun come from?

by **fusiontortellini** on Thu Oct 13, 2005 9:42 am

I am fusiontortellini. The bullet would have gone through the hole in my center. Or it would have vaporized by my plasma (10^7 degrees C). Ha Ha Ha Ha Haaaa! (evil laugh)

by **Qwertyuiopasd** on Thu Oct 13, 2005 10:01 am

well thats a relief, I'm still a little worried about where that gun came from though...

by **fusiontortellini** on Thu Oct 13, 2005 10:05 am

Why, the National Rifle Association, of course!

Or your grandfather's arsenal (Thank you, Eddie Izzard)

by **Qwertyuiopasd** on Thu Oct 13, 2005 10:08 am

no... i think it was my pants...

by **fusiontortellini** on Thu Oct 13, 2005 10:12 am

Ahhh. The Hell Pants from Satan. Do you feel sexy?

by **Qwertyuiopasd** on Thu Oct 13, 2005 10:15 am

no, not the hell pants. just my pants. they're cargo pants.

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