^Woke up without cash, passport, or I.D. in Bangalore India after a three day drunken bender (Started drinking in Wichita Kansas three days prior, go figure?). In his desperate search for a drink, he ended up hocking his tusks at a local Bangalore pawn shop.
In a strange twist of fate, two years later he purchased a lovely broach depicting Susan B. Anthony in ivory, for his mother, without realizing that it was crafted from the ivory from his own tusks!
"Please, he's no different from the rest of you organisms. Shooting DNA at each other to make babies ... I find it offensive." - Bender
"..it's a success that hasn't occurred yet." -Homeland Security Advisor to Bush Frances Townsend, on the subject of the failure to capture Osama Bin Laden.