PRAYERS UNTO HIM

[Solipsy]

Pretty self-explanatory, I think.

[Solipsy]

Posted by PastaDisciple, this most excellent Prayer:

Our pasta who art in Heaven,
Flying Spaghetti Monster be thy name.
Thy parmisian come
thy noodle be done,
Al-dente as it is in heaven.
Give us this day, our daily Garlic bread.
Forgive us our anti-pasta
as we forvige those who serve anti-pasta to us.
And lead us not to false sausages
but deliver us from hotdogs.
For thine is the Marinara, and the pesto, forever.
Salude. (ahmen)

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If you wish to change or edit this post, PastaDisciple, please add to this thread, and I will join or edit them. Thanks!

[DaveL]

The Fruitless Bull Prayer

Oh Great One,

In our beloved schools, thine name shall be soon be uttered. And the works of your creations shall be revealed. For thy Kansas School board shall be the thin end of the holy wedge, as we ram home our agenda during these uncertain and troubling times.

For the work of the scientists across the ages is but fruitless bull, when compared with your great hand. An in our hour of need do we thus pray to thee O Great Noodly Master, to set the record straight, and to thy school kiddies we do thus pray:

Forget thee Stephen Hawking for his brief history of time was just all wrong
Forget thee Nils Bohr for he was just dumb all along

Forget thee Charles Darwin, for his Evolution theory was all bunk
Forget thee Albert Einstein for his relativity will be sunk

Forget thee Wolfgang Pauli for your spin was just all spin
Forget thee Robert Oppenheimer, believing you is a sin

Forget thee Robert Hooke, your stuff just isn’t true
Forget thee Marie Curie, you were bored and had nothing to do

Forget thee Louis Pasteur you were just fond of scum
Forget thee Harold Urey you don’t know how it’s done

And in thee great scientific advances do I look for a great cause
For it was our Intelligent Noodly Designer that did all this of course

For it was YOU Great Monster, it was just you all along.
Rational thought and human endeavour are really not that strong.

For we are just hapless pawns, really just quite small. Our religion has all the answers – there’s no need to think at all.

So pack up your science texts kiddies, for true enlightenment has begun. The Flying Spaghetti Monster will show how faith based science is done.

RAmen

[Qwertyuiopasd]

what we REALLY need is a mantra or a chant.

[Solipsy]

DaveL that is hilarious

[DaveL]

Thanks Solipsy!

It's a tad zealoted, but hopefully tongue-in-cheek enough for non Pastafarians to get it.

Ahhh (or should that be Argghhhh)...the power of the rhyming couplet!

[Nudelius]

Seeing how alot of people in here use strong words like proud american and patriot I might be skidding onto thin ice here but seeing how we all enjoy a re-written christina scripture, I see no harm in this either.

I pledge allegiance to the FSM
Of the United World of Pasta
And to the pastafari
For which he stands
One pasta
Under sauce
Quite mixable
With Beer Volcanoes
and Stripper Factories
for All

//Nudelius

[Qwertyuiopasd]

well, I'd still sit down during the pledge. i don't think they like the mention of strippers.

[Qwertyuiopasd]

I GOT SCHOOOOOOOLED.

but something a little longer might be nice, for big gatherings.

[Qwertyuiopasd]

make it an image. then post it that way.

[PastaDisciple]

Hail Flying Spaghetti Monster, full of sauce.
Our parmesan is with thee.
Blessed art thou among pasta,
and blessed is the tomatoe of thy sauce, Roma.
Holy Flying Spaghetti Monster, Father of Pasta,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our consumption.
Salude.




(I'm going to Hell for that one...)

PastaDesciple
(Nota Bene: for those who didn't know, this was taken from the prayer "Hail Mary (full of grace)" or "Ave Maria")

[Solipsy]

"The Common Pastology"

Taste Sauce, from which all spices flow;
Drink up, ye Pirates here below;
Until the Kansas School Board calls;
Praise Noodles, Sauce, and Meaty Balls.

RAmen.

[Solipsy]

OF COURSE, if anyone would know that, YOU would (and also my husband). lol I thought I'd be tossing that one way to the back pews. Once, I was at a church luncheon -- me -- an atheist... and the Pastor asked for the congregation to sing the Com. Dox.... It was a solo.... the only atheist in the crowd. rofl...

[DaveL]

This word should be credited to Solipsy. Glob is such a top word!

Glob Bless Ya

Oh Great Glob

Send forth your wriggly, jiggly, noodly appendages
For your touch does inspire much Globliness
For Cleaniness is closer to Globliness

Oh My Glob

Shall your meat balls pulsate with much glee
For your eye stalks do not look like a snail (much)
And Glob Bless the Righteous

Oh Mighty Glob

Shall all our charitable work be with religious catch
For we shall only help those we can potentially convert
And great returns shall be reaped from our investments

Oh Blessed Glob

Shall we tell others our religion is much better
For they are wrong and we right
And their conversion doth bring much noodly joy

Oh Omnipotent Glob

Gamma globulin is a protein found in human plasma
For I knew that would impress thee...
And make me look like a smarty pants in your eye (stalk)

Oh Righteous Glob

Send forth thy men in white coats
For much religious writing has yea verily sent me mad
And I shall dwell in the House of Loony for many a day

Oh Venerable Glob

Glob, Glob, Glob
Globby, Globby, Globby
Glob, Glob, Glob, Glob…

RAmen

[ECQuaker]

1 The FSM is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pesto:

he leadeth me beside the still marinara.
3 He restoreth my sauce:

he leadeth me in the collander of Intelligence for Science's sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the taste of terriyaki,

I will fear no bad taste: for thou art with me;
thy meatballs and thy noodles they comfort me.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mexican food:

thou anointest my head with olive oil;
my cup runneth over.
6 Surely garlic and tomato shall follow me all the days of my life:

and I will dwell in the house of the FSM for ever.



Pastas 23 note from Scribe Solipsy: this is lovely. I'm sorting it, however, into Pastalms.