The bailiff tried to pull up the bottom half of the sash window, but it was stuck.
"Having trouble getting it up?" Ron shouted.
The bailiff said "I'm sorry, but can someone give me a hand?"
"Stay where you are," yelled Big Ron. "I'll come over and give you one."
"I must apologise for my witness," said the prosecutor. "You see, Ron inhabits the Salty Tale region of Portsmouth. He lives in a world of innuendo and double entendres."
"That's right," said Ron. "I'm always up for one."
"Hmm..." said Judge Lady Prunella Boadicea Springer-Spaniel Bonehart, JD, MBE, DVM, RPh, EdD. "Can you tell us what happened when you first boarded the Arrrrghh 9001?"
"Well," said Ron. "I was carrying a sack of supplies onto deck. I didn't open it at first, because I don't like getting my meat out in cold weather."
"But then the bottom of my bag split, and I asked someone for some help. But he just walked over and trod on my sausage."
"Just then, I looked across and saw the cook preparing a turkey for the oven. It looked like he was using a very poor quality stuffing; luckily I had a superior product in my bag. Oi! I shouted to him. You want me to come over there and give your bird a good stuffing?"
"Hmmmmm..." said Judge Lady Prunella Boadicea Springer-Spaniel Bonehart, JD, MBE, DVM, RPh, EdD. "Is this testimony ever going to get to the point?"
"Unfortunately," said the prosecutor, "in Ron's world things never stay on the same subject for more than a couple of lines. He's used to things being all important at one moment, and then forgotten and never mentioned again later."
"Let me try a direct question," said Judge Lady Prunella Boadicea Springer-Spaniel Bonehart, JD, MBE, DVM, RPh, EdD. "Mr Ron, did you see Cap'n Cronan sink this ship or not?"
"So you asking me if Cap'n Cronan could keep it up, or did he go immediately to the bottom?"
With that, the bailiff opened the courtroom doors and threw Ron out by his...