ever since this religion was set up in '05, everyone has been debating about the existence of this flying spaghetti monster. naysayers have mocked the FSM, and even some members of the church have questioned its authority (fine by me).
I'm here to offer my humble theory.
there is a theory (i can't remember who made it- I'm only 13, people!) that states that whenever a decision is made by anything, anywhere, the universe splits into two equally large universes to accomodate both of the branches of this decision. so, if you were taking a walk, and you came at a split in the road, and decided to turn left, another universe would pop into existence in which you took a right turn.
so, according to this, there must have been a universe somewhere in which a transdimensional, omnipotent spaghetti monster was created, and proceeded to kill off any universe in which a copy of himself or any other deity was made. Of course, being transdimentional and omnipotent, he can exist in all the theoretical universes in which we exist. since he is transdimensional, flying through walls is not a problem to him, nor is there a problem in creating a heaven with a Beer volcano and stripper factory.
hope y'all can understand this, reply if you can,
blindly oppressing middle-eastern countries through needless violence since '86