Stoopid Blonde Jokes

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Stoopid Blonde Jokes

Postby Shooting Star on Sun Jul 16, 2006 3:43 pm

I didn't see Stupid Blonde Jokes listed in the threads, so forgive me if this topic is listed elsewhere.

My friend e-mails me these all the time, not that I'm a stoopid blonde, just a little preoccupied at times! HA



I knew a blonde that was so stupid that......

-she called me to get my phone number

-she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate"

-she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind

-she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order

-she sent me a fax with a stamp on it

-she tried to drown a fish

-she thought a quarterback was a refund

-she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

-she tripped over a cordless phone

-she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept

-she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store

-she studied for a blood test

-she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats

-when she heard that 90% if all crimes occur around the home, she moved

-when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead

-when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home
"If you resist reading what you disagree with, how will you ever acquire deeper insights into what you believe? The things most worth reading are precisely those that challenge our convictions." Oliver Wendell Holmes
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Postby Bob the Unbeliever on Wed Jul 19, 2006 9:13 pm

What do you call the brunette between two blondes?

The Interpreter.

What do you call a blonde that dyes her hair black?

Artificial Intelligence.

....

There was a blonde standing beside her car, one day. She seemed very upset, so a friendly brunette stopped to see if she could help. The blonde complained that her remote on her door-unlocker (for her car) had dead batteries, and she could not get into her car.

The brunette asked to see the remote, and was handed it, dangling at the end of a lot of keys ...

Meanwhile, the blonde asked, "Do you think that electronic store across the street, there would have batteries?"

The brunette, handing the remote back, holding it by the CAR KEY, suggested, "Why don't you drive over there, the street looks really busy, and you could be hurt, trying to walk."

The blonde said, "Oh! thats a good idea - besides, I need to hurry, I think it's going to rain, and my top is down ... "
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Postby Shooting Star on Thu Jul 20, 2006 1:49 am

Ha! Thanks for posting those Bob! Very good! And I needed a laugh tonight!
"If you resist reading what you disagree with, how will you ever acquire deeper insights into what you believe? The things most worth reading are precisely those that challenge our convictions." Oliver Wendell Holmes
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Postby Bob the Unbeliever on Thu Jul 20, 2006 3:36 am

How can you tell that the new hire is a blonde?

By the white-out all over the PC monitor

...

One day, the new blonde office worker noticed that her printer was out of paper - she had but one sheet left.

She politely inquired, from a co-worker, where she may obtain additional blank paper. The co-worker, in a hurry, suggested the xerox machine as a source.

Later, someone noticed the blonde getting paper from the xerox machine, one sheet at a time - it seems she put her blank page in the machine, and set it for 50 copies ....

...

A poor guy was stranded at the side of the road in his antique auto. It seems that his battery was flat, and he needed either a jump or some help push-starting the machine.

Unfortunately, he did not have any jumper cables.

A helpful blonde, in a large SUV noticed his plight, and offered to help - but she did not have cables, either.

He suggested a push-start would easily get his antique going again, as it had a generator, not an alternator, and once going, this would re-charge the battery.

However, the car was old, and it needed to be going about 25-30 or so, before it would start - weak fuel pump. He explained this carefully to the blonde driving the big SUV.

He got behind the wheel of his car, and she drove around behind his auto.

But, instead of feeling a gentle tap on his rear bumper, he noticed it was mysteriouly quiet.

What? he thought, and turned his head around --- only to see that she had backed 'waaaay down the road, so as to get a running start, so that she could be up to 30 mph for the push ....
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Postby St John the Blasphemist on Thu Jul 20, 2006 7:31 am

This one's naughty. Apologies to sensitive minds, but this is a restricted access section for a reason.

Q: What does a peroxide blonde have in common with a 747 Airliner?

A: They both have a black box
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Postby Land Shark on Mon Jul 31, 2006 9:36 pm

A brunette walks into a doctor's office, and says, "Docter, I think every bone in my body is broken!" She pokes herself in the arm and the leg, both times going "Ow!"

"You're not a natural brunette, are you?" The doctor asked.

"No."

"Your finger is broken."
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Postby anthrobabe on Wed Aug 16, 2006 1:30 pm

How do you drown a blond?

Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool.
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Postby anthrobabe on Wed Aug 16, 2006 2:08 pm

There were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde. They all worked together at an office.
Every day they noticed that their boss left work a little early. So one day they met together and decided that today when the boss left, they would all leave early too.
The boss left and so did they. The Brunette went home and straight to bed so could get an early start the next morning. The Red Head went home to get in a quick work out before her dinner date. The Blonde went home and walked into the bedroom. She opens the door slowly and saw her husband in bed with her boss, so she shut the door and left.
The next day, the Brunette and the Red Head are talking about going home early again. They ask the Blonde if she wants to leave early again.
"No," she says, "yesterday I nearly got caught!"
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